"Tribal Council" should just be renamed "Occasion to Mess Up." I want Jeff Probst to sit with each week's losing tribe and say, "Welcome to an occasion to mess up. Go." Then the racist and homophobic and incendiary back-and-forth can begin. Last night the La Flor tribe decided to vote out its --- hmmmm? -- most idiotic contestant by a mile Shannon. God, what a huffy little jag. Let's list his three biggest downfalls in yesterday's episode of Survivor while cackling at his jag visage.
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Bad news, television watchers. Tonight brings the premiere episodes of three of the worst reviewed shows of the fall. Is My Generation worse than Outsourced and $#*! My Dad Says? That answer and many more ahead in the latest edition of Movieline's Premiere Week FAQ.
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Tonight, the Big Bang Theory nerds premiere their fourth season in a new time slot (well, they already conquered it last week in re-runs), and on the morning of this time change, Movieline has uncovered Craig Ferguson's lost audition for the CBS sitcom. (And yes, seeing the middle-aged Scotsman in a tight t-shirt, acting like a socially impaired genius is just as disturbing as you would think.)
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Most late night audiences may have tuned into CBS last night to catch part two of David Letterman's ongoing saga with Joaquin Phoenix but if they stuck around for The Late Late Show, they were in for a special treat: Craig Ferguson debuted a Saturday Night Live-ready "Michael Caine in Space" sketch with the help of the Big Bang Theory cast. Elsewhere, Josh Brolin showed off a spot-on John Malkovich impression, Guillermo del Toro matched wits with Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart reunited with a Death to Smoochy cast member.
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For those of you hoping to see another Joaquin Phoenix meltdown on The Late Show with David Letterman, last night was probably very disappointing. There was no beard, no mumbling -- well, some mumbling; he's still Joaquin Phoenix -- and very little controversy. But just who came out on top when the interview was all over? Click ahead for the night's winners and losers.
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Boom! To close out the sixth anniversary of Lost, some great news for fans feeling pangs of nostalgia. NBC has picked up the Michael Emerson and Terry O'Quinn buddy comedy that J.J. Abrams began pitching to networks in earnest on Monday. The series -- formerly known as Odd Jobs -- is now untitled, meaning Locke'd and Loaded still has a chance. [Deadline]
Your Emmy champ Modern Family is back with another season of yuks, mockumentary confessionals, and an award-repellent lead performance from the fantastic Ed O'Neill. In tonight's episode, the Dunphys say goodbye to an old friend. Elsewhere on the tube, Jim Belushi and Boris Kodjoe woo us with pilot episodes and Mel Gibson shows us his reign of terror's beginnings.
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In spite of a premiere watched by a pathetic 4 million viewers, Fox is giving Lone Star, its Movieline-approved con man drama, at least one week to straighten out its ratings. If more audience members don't tune in this Monday (that means you, Mike and Molly Fat Joke Trackers at home), the network might yank the series off the air faster than you can say "please no more Hell's Kitchen repeats." Get your priorities straight, America. [Vulture]
Let's tally up everything that may suck about season ten of American Idol: the disinterested judges; the banal contestants; Randy Jackson's awkward and continued presence; the Chekhovian pangs of a past we'll never get back. So, those! What does this leave us to anticipate? Ah, yes: Quips and puns. If Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler plan on making themselves tolerable, they're going to need a long winter's supply of pun-y retorts to slay auditioners with. I'm helping them out with 20 hearty, charbroiled slabs of zinger-flickin' goodness. Click ahead for the hilarity.
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Promotional tours are funny things. One day you're playing a football-poker hybrid game with Jimmy Fallon and the next minute you're telling People how your father's death left you chronically depressed during college. At least that is the plight of Jon Hamm during his press circuit for The Town. "I knew I had to get back in school and back in some kind of structured environment and ... continue," he said of his time at the University of Texas. "You can change your brain chemistry enough [with anti-depressants] to think: 'I want to get up in the morning; I don't want to sleep until 4 in the afternoon." [People]
Everyone can dial down their DVR alarm this morning: After The Live Feed pointed out yesterday that $#*! My Dad Says' symbol-heavy title does not particularly make for easy DVR-ing, CBS has issued a step-by-step memo to help less technologically experienced viewers through this difficult time.
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American Idol's live event at the Forum to announce the show's two new judges was...hmm? Unsurprising at best? A glitchy nightmare at worst? Yep, Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez formally entered the Idol fracas, and both of them looked as thrilled as, say, we did when Lee DeWyze won last season. So, grim. Let's see where this all went wrong.
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What happens when you hire your middle-aged sister to intern at your manufacturing company and she ends up flirting with your oily boss (played by Billy Baldwin) over a tub of chocolate pudding? Parenthood answered that age-old question and others that have been plaguing you and all of your white middle class neighbors in last night's episode "No Good Deed."
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Dancing with the Stars's first elimination is always such a divine embarrassment. What compares to the moment when an oiled-up pseudo-celeb stands under a spotlight, congratulates himself on his "spirited" cha-cha-cha, and listens just long enough to hear Tom Bergeron fire his ass? Well, I enjoyed it. Now that the first loser has been declared, let's re-watch his/her routine once more and figure out where it went wrong.
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Rachel Berry is going to be even more incorrigible now. Last night's second season premiere of Glee drew in 12.3 million viewers, a 20 percent increase from the season premiere last fall. Despite a new time slot and some lame pizza pranks, Glee was the second most watched television show of the night, behind NCIS. Jazz hands. [THR/The Live Feed]
