The unsparing mortgage crisis that devastated our economy has sadly touched one of Hollywood's first families. But Stephen Baldwin's loss can be your gain if you act fast: His foreclosed home near New York City is up for auction later this month.
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· Here's the poster for the upcoming "I love you, now stop time-traveling" romantic drama The Time Traveler's Wife, starring Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams.
· "I found myself drawn to the scents of my childhood in Tennessee," says Reese Witherspoon about her new perfume line, Spare Ribs In Bloom.
· Frost/Nixon writer Peter Morgan has been brought on to write the next Bond film, which is rumored to be heavily set in Afghanistan. This film just sounds funner and funner, wouldn't you say?
· Heidi Montag is going to appear in Playboy, living out the career arc she so cruelly robbed Audrina of.
· Kristin Chenoweth and Lane Garrison are not prison pen pals who are now dating, claims her rep. Truly, kudos for calling attention to a rumor no one had ever heard of.
Sarah Palin's 'You Raped My Daughter: Now You Pay' World Tour 2009 made a pit stop at The Today Show this morning, where Matt Lauer humored the Governor for a few minutes about her exciting new Alaska-Canada pipeline/waterslide initiative before he broached the topic of her ongoing feud with confirmed sex predator David Letterman. (It begins around the 3:20 mark.) Palin unleashed an avalanche of irate talking points, as the backdrop behind her magically dissolved into a waving American flag, each of its 50 stars replaced by a tiny Dave-head inside a red no-smoking circle.
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Fat jokes, as a general rule*, are below the belt. They're cheap, they're not funny, and when they're directed at women, they can leave a particularly rancid taste in your mouth. I'm thinking of Donald Trump's tirades against "that fat, disgusting pig" Rosie O'Donnell, which admittedly wasn't a joke, but was a pretty vile characterization that tells you everything you need to know about how The Combforwarded One views women.
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While the first image from Michael Moore's as-yet-untitled documentary about the global financial meltdown may not be met with the same unbridled enthusiasm of, say, a shot from Iron Man 2 featuring Mickey Rourke wandering down a racetrack looking as though he just lost a fight with an ornery snowmobile, it still delivers a mild thrill to see the schlumpy king of agitpop culture back on his feet and doing what he does best: annoying building security personnel.
Inspired as we were by the linking clues embedded deep within the Iron Man 2 images (as discovered by MovieViral.com) we decided to scrutinize this photo, too. Lo and behold, it paid off bountifully, as a faint reflection in the Goldman Sachs revolving doors betrayed the identity of the one corporate villain whose shady backroom dealings contributed to the collapse an entire free market economy, yet who still manages to walk free while the Bernie Madoffs of this world take the fall.
The answer is after the jump.
· Marcus Nispel, the Friday the 13th and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre re-director known in the past to only dress in the color orange (possibly to symbolize the jumpsuit he should be wearing for his crimes against cinematic humanity), has been chosen to direct the Conan the Barbarian remake. This comes after nine arduous years of development that saw the likes of Larry and Andy Wachowski, Robert Rodriguez, and Brett Ratner come and go. "Nispel said he will blend his childhood imaginings of the character with the influence of the famous Conan illustrations by Frank Frazetta, and the influence of such viscerally violent period films as Mel Gibson's 'What Women Want.'" [Variety]
Coming up in Hollywood Ink: Amy Poehler serves up Mystery Meat. Danny Boyle finds home. And Iceland sends us their sitcoms.
Welcome back to Movieline Attractions, your regular guide everything new, noteworthy and still hungover at the movies. This week, a couple of Hollywood titans square off against a batch of raunchy phenoms, Francis Ford Coppola gets lost in Argentina and Eddie Murphy simply gets lost. Bold predictions after the jump.
· So now the Palins have responded to David Letterman's sort-of apology / invitation to come on his show, via spokesperson Meg Stapleton: "The Palins have no intention of providing a rating's boost for David Letterman by appearing on his show. Plus, it would be wise to keep Willow away from David Letterman." Oh. My. God. HOW DARE SARAH PALIN MAKE A JOKE ABOUT LETTERMAN RAPING WILLOW?! We demand a whole new round of apologies, this instant. Stapleton to Palin. Palin to Letterman. Stapleton to Letterman. Everyone to Willow. Let's see ... who did we leave out? Oh yeah: Palin to America, for being such an intolerable hag. [Politico]
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It's happening! Now that actress Alessandra Torresani has joined biopic The Runaways as heavy metal siren Lita Ford (a fact that she confirmed at the Young Hollywood Awards) and Kristen Stewart has been spotted with her Joan Jett mullet (which, oddly enough, earned her a breathless voicemail from Carmen Electra), we've got our "Cherry Bomb"-hurling bigscreen band assembled.
By now you may have caught wind of a story catching fire across the Internet: Chastity Bono, the only child to emerge from the legendary showbiz union of Cher and Sonny Bono, has begun the process of changing from woman into man. Chaz Bono began the first stages of his hormone treatments earlier this year, shortly after his 40th birthday.
I have a confession to make: I have never seen Megan Fox act onscreen.
Through a mixup of events, a heavy 2007 workload, and a healthy instinct for self-preservation, I never saw the first Transformers film. I realize that as an internet film journalist, such an admittance is akin to saying I somehow missed Citizen Kane, but it is true.
The thing is, though, if you didn't see Fox in Transformers, you likely haven't seen her in anything. Hope & Faith? No, sorry. Jennifer's Body? Not out yet. How to Lose Friends and Alienate People? Trick question: No one saw that.
So why, despite my unfamiliarity with her work, do I still think Fox is the bees' knees?
It took 63 years, but The Tonys finally provided a genuinely YouTubeable moment Sunday night, when a descending piece of scenery very nearly separated Poison lead singer Bret Michaels from himself. Miraculously, his skull remained fully intact, primed for another search for romance among the skank-filled Mud Bowls of Rock of Love -- but he didn't walk away entirely unscathed. He posted some photos of his battered face on his MySpace account; he suffered a broken nose and bruised lip.
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· Ah, not again: It's the inevitable "Why do cougars love Adam Lambert?" story. Before him, the cougars loved David Cook, and before him, Clay Aiken...why? Because middle-aged women watch a lot of Idol, and they're sex predators. We know this already.
· "I have to tread a rather fine line here," warns a Daily Kos commenter, buuuuut basically, Jon Voight is an evil lunatic who argues with vegetables, true story.
· Now we know to whom Gwyneth Paltrow is referring when she asks, "Will someone put some William Joel on the jukebox? Someone? Anyone? Assistant?"
· The cast members of The Hangover have their own ideas about the sequel, and Ed Helms's involves sea horses.
· Nicolas Cage has never hired a voodoo priestess to bless his sets. Yet.
Rumors are flying today that G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra director Stephen Sommers has been fired off the film and locked out of the editing room following "the lowest test score ever from an audience in the history of Paramount." How much is fact and how much is fiction? We decided to get to the bottom of things.
Andrew Sarris's canning this week at the New York Observer stirred some strong reaction among media observers charting the death of film criticism. But word from another source this morning urges calm in the face of crisis, arguing that the 80-year-old Sarris -- who originated the auteur theory and literally wrote the book on American cinema -- isn't shuffling off to pasture quite yet.
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