Kirstie Alley Can Hold Her Tweets No Longer About Late Night Fat Jokes
Fat jokes, as a general rule*, are below the belt. They're cheap, they're not funny, and when they're directed at women, they can leave a particularly rancid taste in your mouth. I'm thinking of Donald Trump's tirades against "that fat, disgusting pig" Rosie O'Donnell, which admittedly wasn't a joke, but was a pretty vile characterization that tells you everything you need to know about how The Combforwarded One views women.
So it was a little disheartening to see Conan O'Brien carrying over his Kirstie Alley fat jokes onto the new Tonight Show. Examples:
Arlen Specter: Good friend of Alito's. Kirstie Alley: Good friend of Doritos
Marine Corp Motto: Leave No Man Behind. Kirstie Alley: Leave No Ham Behind
Are those funny? I guess an argument can be made for yes, but I don't find them particularly funny.
On the other hand, did I find Letterman's material about the Palins funny? Yes, I found it very funny. You'll recall the two questionable jokes were:
"They had a wonderful time. The toughest part of her visit was keeping Eliot Spitzer away from her daughter"
"2. Bought makeup from Bloomingdale's to update her 'slutty flight attendant' look"
I suppose arguments could be made that the second joke is sexist, but it's also pretty accurate. She does dress like a slutty flight attendant -- and she doesn't have to. And slutty flight attendants are hot! It's not even insulting.
Now, had Palin had an extra 50 to lose, and Letterman made some kind of joke about "the moose-hunter becoming the moose-hunted" -- that would just strike me as unnecessarily harsh. (Though funny.)
In any case, Alley doesn't find any of it funny, and she's been Twittering her feelings about it today:
@EmBethG NO, I THINK LETTERMAN WAS OUT OF LINE ...her daughter is NOT fair game.TIRED of late night hosts DEGRADING WOMEN PERIOD..APLOLOGY
@EmBethG I know..but he really does owe her and women an apology.These guys think women are fair game for their degradation..we are not
Put Conan on that list. dropped him a line yesterday "if you run out of fat jokes about me,I am a terrific writer"He never does fat MEN jokes
HEY LADIES, WE HAVE FOUGHT LONG AND HARD FOR OUR LIBERATION..WE ARE NOT FINISHED...DEGRADING WOMEN IS NOT A SPORT
THEN IT BECOMES "LATE NIGHT" WITH MEDIOCRE STAFF WRITERS...NOT MY FAVORITE SHOW..CONAN,WRITE YOUR OWN JOKES..YOU ARE FUNNY AND CLEVER & NICE
Fair enough. Except for one small matter, which is that KIRSTIE ALLEY STARRED IN A SHOW CALLED FAT ACTRESS ON SHOWTIME WHICH WAS ALL ABOUT POKING FUN AT HOW FAT SHE IS.
It probably would have behooved me to have watched that show before bringing this up, as I'm sure it was actually an incredibly sensitive portrayal of a woman struggling with her love of caloric foods in a world that values surface matters above everything.
Then again, here she is in a promotional shot, literally SMOTHERING A MAN TO DEATH WITH HER HEFT. Did we mention the show was called Fat Actress?
In fact, I can't remember the last thing I've seen Alley attached to that didn't have something to do with her yo-yoing weight: The Oprah appearances, the magazine covers, the Jenny Craig commercials: She's made a second career out of it! She will not SHUT UP ABOUT HOW FAT SHE IS OR ISN'T.
So, and here's the twist ending that none of you saw coming: Kirstie, I like ya, and I feel for ya. I really do. I know the call of the 2 a.m. In-N-Out drive thru. But if you want people to stop seeing you as the human equivalent of an AeroBed with highlights, then you might want to think about changing the subject.
*There are always exceptions. Susan Boyle was one. Though now we should all feel collectively guilty for sending her to the nuthouse.