Nispel the Rebootian


· Marcus Nispel, the Friday the 13th and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre re-director known in the past to only dress in the color orange (possibly to symbolize the jumpsuit he should be wearing for his crimes against cinematic humanity), has been chosen to direct the Conan the Barbarian remake. This comes after nine arduous years of development that saw the likes of Larry and Andy Wachowski, Robert Rodriguez, and Brett Ratner come and go. "Nispel said he will blend his childhood imaginings of the character with the influence of the famous Conan illustrations by Frank Frazetta, and the influence of such viscerally violent period films as Mel Gibson's 'What Women Want.'" [Variety]

Coming up in Hollywood Ink: Amy Poehler serves up Mystery Meat. Danny Boyle finds home. And Iceland sends us their sitcoms.

· Screen Gems is the winner in a bidding war over a spec from The Hours author Michael Cunningham. Check out the logline: "Story concerns a shy but brainy high school girl who returns for senior year after having slimmed down six dress sizes. She finds herself flirting with the handsome English lit teacher, but the mutual crush turns deadly when the teacher's obsession with the student compels him to exact maniacal revenge on everyone who was cruel to her." But how does Jane Eyre, Georgia O'Keefe, and Laurie Anderson existing in three separate eras yet complimenting each other seamlessly fit into this story of an ex-fatty? We'll just have to wait and see! [Variety]

· Danny Boyle has signed a three-year contract with Fox Searchlight and Pathe Pictures, his Slumdog Millionaire-catapulting studio dream team. It's a competitive first-look deal that includes development, production and slumkid relocation expenses, plus a lifetime supply of Pringles. [Variety]


· Lunch Lady, a children's book series debuting this fall, has been snapped up by Universal as a franchise for Amy Poehler. It's about a nice cafeteria server who "secretly dishes out helpings of justice as she and her assistant investigate wrongdoings." With all respect to Poehler, this really should have gone to Amy Sedaris, who could have infused lines like, "More testicles mean more iron," with the necessary gravitas. [THR]

· Reveille bought the rights to Icelandic sitcom The Nightshift, about three gas station workers who work the graveyard shift. This could be Iceland's greatest export to America since Caribou-A-Roni, the Reykjavikian Treat! [THR]

· Irish actor Chris O'Dowd has joined the cast of Gulliver's Travels, which we'd mistakenly thought had already finished shooting. He plays the villain. [THR]


  • Liz Lemonazi says:

    Re new Michael Cunningham pic: It's Carrie with overeating...and weird teacher-student attraction. Carrie meets Election meets Shallow Hal? Verdict: winner.

  • Inhaler says:

    I literally thought that was a picture of Morgan Spurlock, creepy.