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Darren Aronofsky's Noah Will Flood Theaters in 2014

This just in: Paramount and New Regency will release Darren Aronofsky's Biblical tale Noah on March 28, 2014. No filming date has been announced just yet, but that gives the Black Swan helmer just about two years to get Russell Crowe in gear as the eponymous wino/boat-builder; Aronofsky will direct from a script credited to himself, Ari Handel, and John Logan. The date puts Noah opening right before Captain America 2, which means... superhero season will start even earlier in '14, kinda. I know, I know: But when will we see a big-screen adaptation of Fightin' Around the World? [Deadline]

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A Secret Shoot, ScarJo's 'Boy Soup,' Dance Dance Revolution and More Revelations from the Avengers Junket

The cast of Marvel’s The Avengers were a spirited bunch Thursday in Beverly Hills, where the familial vibe amongst the likes of Robert Downey Jr., Samuel Jackson, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, and Mark Ruffalo was evident and mutual admiration, inside jokes, and startling revelations abounded. (Scarlett Johansson, alas, was absent due to a scheduling conflict.) Among the highlights: Ruffalo’s youthful Hulk inspiration, Jeremy Renner’s suggestive Hawkeye imagery (“[I] played with Thor’s hammer while he stroked my bow”), and one mysterious, maybe-still legit admission from Downey that the assembled Avengers would be filming a scene… that night. But, pray tell: Which Avenger possesses the best Dance Dance Revolution skills? SPOILERS AHEAD.
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Kate Upton's Three Stooges 'Nun-kini' Irks Catholic League, Naturally

What's Catholic League president Bill Donohue upset about today? Oh, the usual: "In the 1950s, Hollywood generally avoided crude fare and was respectful of religion. Today it specializes in crudity and trashes Christianity, especially Catholicism. Enter The Three Stooges. The movie is not just another remake: It is a cultural marker of sociological significance, and what it says about the way we've changed is not encouraging." A Fox spokesman responds: "I think we did the audience a favor by letting Kate Upton wear the nun-kini rather than Larry David — it could have gone either way." [THR]

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Great News, Ladies! Morgan Freeman Not Marrying His Step-Granddaughter

"Freeman's rep tells us the actor remained silent for years because he didn't want to 'dignify these stories by commenting' ... but now he feels compelled to speak out after the reports were picked up by various 'mainstream media' outlets. In his statement, Freeman says, 'The recent reports of any pending marriage or romantic relationship of me to anyone are defamatory fabrications from the tabloid media designed to sell papers. What is even more alarming is that these fabrications are now being picked up by the legitimate press as well.'" Sorry about that, Mr. Freeman. In other news: TGIF. [TMZ]

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Christopher Nolan Really, Really, Really Not Giving Up Shooting on Film

There's so much good stuff in this new DGA Quarterly interview (particularly about the joys of IMAX), but for the record, Christopher Nolan isn't messing around with his commitment to shooting on old-fashioned glorious film. And according to Nolan, his peers shouldn't be, either:
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Thank Prometheus For the Most Disgusting Animated GIF Ever

I'm not going to belabor this: A batch of new media from Prometheus has emerged, including what some mad genius has repurposed as arguably the most revolting — if weirdly entrancing — animated GIF in the history of animated GIFs. No blood or other bodily fluids/waste are involved, but if you are squeamish at all about eyes, do not keep reading.
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Adventures in Twitter || ||

Twitter Loves The Avengers! [UPDATED: Follow the Press Conference with @Movieline!]

The Avengers premiered last night in Los Angeles, where luminaries, cognoscenti and unalloyed geeks took in the Marvel megaspectacle as one, big nerdy family. Afterward, with tweets permitted by Disney reps (and full reviews embargoed until the first week of May), many of those viewers took to Twitter to exhort director Joss Whedon, the nonstop action, the humor, the Hulk, and basically anything that wasn't the "worthless" 3-D. Read on for a brief round-up. [UPDATE 2:10 p.m. PDT: And starting now you can follow Jen Yamato's Avengers press conference livetweet over at @Movieline!]
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Pull Up a Seat for the Great Joe Eszterhas vs. Mel Gibson Maccabee Feud of 2012

There was a time when the Judah Maccabee project (AKA the Jewish Braveheart) that Joe Eszterhas was penning for Mel Gibson seemed only modestly distasteful given Gibson's notorious penchant for making anti-Semitic remarks. Then Eszterhas turned in his script, Warner Bros. put the project on hold, and the real dramatic bloodbath began. Last night, Eszterhas penned a nine-page letter excoriating Gibson for ignoring his draft, accusing him of never intending to make the film in the first place and detailing a series of lurid, bigoted outbursts he and his family allegedly witnessed Gibson making during their collaboration -- a letter leaked to The Wrap and available in all of its bone-chilling glory, naturally.
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Curator of Kristen Stewart-Themed Art Show Has Best Reason Ever For Throwing Kristen Stewart-Themed Art Show

"It sounds creepy, but basically I just enjoy looking at her face, and think about it a lot. Even when she was a child actor in Panic Room, she just always appears very, very tired. She looks like she has an old soul. There's something about her presence on camera and how she carries herself. She's very intriguing. A lot of times, it looks like she hasn't slept for two days and it's exciting to think about: 'What were you doing? Why were you awake so long? What were you thinking about?'" Julia Vickerman's MUCHOS KSTEW, comprised entirely of artwork inspired by Twilight's Kristen Stewart, runs through April 20 at L.A.'s Meltdown Comics. [Next Movie]

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Hillary Clinton Hearts Ryan Gosling Text Meme Too, LOLZ

Though the internet sensation "Texts from Hillary" Tumblr has officially come to an end (creators Stacy Lambe and Adam Smith are going out while they're on top of the meme world after receiving the ultimate submission from Hillary Clinton herself), they did get to meet the Secretary of State in the flesh when she invited them for a thank-you meeting. Between photo ops and LOLZ, Clinton let slip her favorite of the Texts from Hillary: the one with Ryan Gosling, of course. See how the Madame Secretary deals with the Baby Goose's "Hey girl" after the jump and commemorate the best political pop cultural meme of April 2012.
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Chris Evans Is Proud Of Just Three of His Films -- Which Ones?

In a new interview at Prestige Hong Kong, Chris Evans, he of Fantastic Four and Captain America and the upcoming Avengers fame, admits that some -- okay, a lot -- of his films haven't been very good. In fact, he'll even give you a number: "I’ve made about 20 movies and I’m probably proud of three," he said, admitting that press tours do a number on his nerves because he's forced to put on a brave face to promote "piece[s] of shit." Aww, Chris. Fret not! You've got some solid movies under your belt! Let's name them and guess which trio of credits Evans is most proud of.
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See One Blockbuster Store's Sad, Final F--- You to Netflix

"Screw Netflix!!!!!!" "Don't be stupid!!!!!!" And with one final missive taped to the shelf between copies of Syriana and Shoot 'Em Up, another doomed Blockbuster store fell to the tyranny of Netflix's superior business model. Might as well screw Netflix with three months' free rental, eh Blockbuster loyalists? (What about those Redbox bastards, with their $1.20 rentals?) All is not lost, indeed.
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Citing Scheduling Constraints, Gary Ross Officially Not Directing Hunger Games Sequel

Well, that was fast: Just hours after Josh Hutcherson gamely threw his support behind Hunger Games director Gary Ross, Ross has officially announced he's not directing the franchise sequel, Catching Fire. "I simply don't have the time I need to write and prep the movie I would have wanted to make," wrote Ross in a statement. More after the jump.
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Gary Ross Has the Josh Hutcherson Vote for Hunger Games Sequel Catching Fire (UPDATED)

Promoting his indie genre-bender Detention today in Los Angeles (in theaters Friday), Hunger Games star Josh Hutcherson found himself in the line of questioning about the much-discussed ambiguity surrounding director Gary Ross's potential return to the franchise. “I think Gary’s the man," he diplomatically told The Hollywood Reporter. "Gary is in my mind is the only one that could ever direct the second one. That’s what I’m sticking to.” (UPDATE: Looks like Hutcherson'll have to readjust his thinking - Ross is officially out of the running for Catching Fire.)
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Deals || ||

Innkeepers Helmer Ti West To Write Skin Crawling Horror Pic Bedbugs

Continuing along the theme of projects that make you feel unsafe within the confines of your own house/cabin/local bed and breakfast, Innkeepers director Ti West has been tapped to script Bedbugs, adapted from Ben H. Winters' 2011 novel of the same name. The tale follows a woman who moves into the perfect Brooklyn brownstone with her family, only to be plagued by an infestation of bugs... that only seem to be biting her. Is your skin crawling yet?
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