As you know, it's increasingly difficult to get through a week of culture without hearing or reading about Charlies Sheen's latest lurid exploits. Historically they involve some ho or porn star and a couple gallons of booze in a hotel room -- quarters the Two and a Half Men star invariably trashes (i.e. breaks a chair and musses the bed, or something) -- followed by breathless record of their fraught time together. I don't want to spend too long belaboring a post about not caring, but at some point, we really should take a moment to ask: Who cares? Enough, already!
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Also in today's edition of The Broadsheet: Pitt's other movie gets a U.S. distribution deal... a Green Hornet star goes to jail... Lou Reed opens up about his filmmaking debut... the 3-D porn channel you always (?) wanted... and more.
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Besides the exciting news that Wu-Tang Clan member and martial arts-aficionado RZA's Kung Fu film The Man with the Iron Fist was actually beginning production in China, there hasn't been much to report on the project. The fact that co-writer Eli Roth stepped on as producer along with Quentin Tarantino seemed like a forgone conclusion and the cast of Lucy Liu, Daniel Wu and Byron Mann more or less made sense. But finally, a bombshell of sorts: Russell Crowe appears confirmed to star in the film.
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· Remember Reed Alexander? The chilling teen chef who riled Kathie Lee and Hoda with his fun "make-ahead desserts" and "lemon-lime kewlers"? Well. He is back. And he's still an iCarly veteran with more spunk than a million cockapoos. And he. Will. Murder you. [Best Week Ever]
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Aside from the hinky CGI, the hushed, pretentious tones, and the general unscariness of everything onscreen, the most troubling part of the new trailer for the ninja-faith-warriors-meet-vampires thriller Priest is how sad everyone is. They're really sad! Let's have a look at Paul Bettany, Karl Urban, Christopher Plummer and the rest of this dour, serious bunch. Cheer up, gang! There are paychecks waiting for you!
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It looks like James Bond will return after all! At least until the next delay. Assuming, though, that MGM can be taken at its word -- and assuming we're all still around and not sucked into the vortex of an apocalypse in 22 months -- 007 will arrive at theaters on Nov. 9, 2012 with Daniel Craig reprising his role as James Bond for director Sam Mendes. Hooray! The currently untitled film is going by BOND 23, which would be fine if this were a trendy bar and not a movie franchise. Ahead, Movieline offers some foolproof title suggestions.
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I am not ready to live in a world where Michelle Pfeiffer plays Chris Pine's mother. That world is one we will reportedly live in, and soon, according to recent casting news. Nothing against Pine, a pleasant young talent I look forward to seeing in a smallish drama for once as opposed to smirky sci-fi/action-flick tentpole bombast. And nothing against Pfeiffer, whose choppy last decade of work overshadows her more historic demonstration of versatility and taste. (OK: Grease 2 and Scarface, but they weren't her fault and everyone must start somewhere.) This may be a wonderful collaboration! All I'm saying is I am just not ready to live in a world... where Michelle Pfeiffer... plays Chris Pine's mother.
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Following the crazy American Idol panel at Tuesday morning's TCA event in Pasadena, Fox executives Kevin Reilly and Peter Rice took the stage and were immediately barraged with Lone Star cancellation-related questions from critics. For those believers out there, Reilly and Rice confirmed that the network is still looking for a home for the six unaired episodes they filmed last year. When another critic suggested that the media's positive reviews of the Kyle Killen drama obviously did not mean anything to the network, the execs joked, "You said your reviews are meaningless. They're really not. Except in this case."
· We're unabashed Ben Schwartz fans around these parts -- he was the highlight of the now-canceled Undercovers and always draws a gaggle of laughs when he appears on Parks & Recreation as Jean-Ralphio -- so his latest video for Funny or Die brought a good dose of laughter to Movieline HQ. "Terrible Decisions" will air as part of the second season of HBO's Funny or Die Presents. Click ahead to watch, laugh, then stick around for more Buzz Break.
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Remember when we told you about Phoenix Jones, the Seattle citizen superhero who, like a real-life Kick-Ass, dressed up in a costume to fight crime and protect the residents of his fare city? Well, like Kick-Ass, he recently got the crap beat out of him. "Does Superman get his ass kicked?" one detective rhetorically asked a reporter for SeattlePI.com. "These people should not be called superheroes."
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Awards-season slump aside, 127 Hours is on a roll in at least one of Hollywood's most closely watched demographics: Illegal downloaders. A new report has the James Franco film way out in front of Oscar competition True Grit and Inception; the revelation follows word that distributor Fox Searchlight will eschew SAG screeners for 127 and Black Swan in favor of secure iTunes downloads. Of course this whole thing royally screws up Movieline's 127 Hours Fainting Tracker, but that's the biz. Congrats? [THR]
It looks like Darren Aronofsky couldn't limit his swipes at Armond White to anonymous blog comments like the rest of us. While presenting Matthew Libatique with the Best Cinematography award at Monday night's New York Film Critics' Circle Awards ceremony, the Black Swan director unloaded on White, the NYFCC chair: "I thought I was giving Armond White the compassion award because if you don't have something you should get it," said Aronofsky. "Seriously, keep it up because you give all of us another reason not to read New York Press." Try the veal!
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Let's hope this isn't the beginning of the end to the feel good story of 2011: The LA Times reports that Ted Williams and a unidentified family member "were detained after police were called to the Renaissance Hotel on a disturbance call" on Monday night. The Kraft pitchman -- and future Jack Nicholson co-star -- was released after questioning, and it's unclear whether any arrests will be made as a result of the call. [LAT/L.A. Now]
Well, they all can't be, "Do you believe in miracles?" Sports fan or not, you're going to want to watch what happened at the end of the BCS Championship Game between Auburn and Oregon -- which Auburn won on a last second field goal, 22-19 -- if only because it might have featured the worst one-liner in the history of humanity. Seriously. Worse than even Arnold Schwarzzenger throwing a knife through a guy in Predator, and saying, "Stick around." The guilty party was Brent Musburger, the title sponsor of the game was Tostitos, and let's just say this one will be remembered for all the wrong reasons. Click ahead for the carnage.
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Forget the speeches; the best part of the loosey-goosey Golden Globe ceremonies are the presenters! To wit: You never know which Hollywood star is going to stumble up on stage, slur a few names and look positively wasted. Assuming Hailee Steinfeld and Robert Downey Jr. are in the clear on this front, here are the other stars presenting on Sunday who have tipsy potential: Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon, Tina Fey, Tilda Swinton, Kevin Bacon, Helen Mirren, Kevin Spacey, Vanessa Williams, Sandra Bullock, Jimmy Fallon, LL Cool J, Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Lopez, Leighton Meester, Robert Pattinson and Bruce Willis. Place your bets now. [NYT]
