How can I put this nicely? Let's see. Forest Whitaker hits bottom in... Hmm. No. A goat outperforms Carlos Mencia in... Ugh. This is hard! Stereotypes are roundly reinforced in... Arrrgh. The Our Family Wedding trailer is out, featuring the dream pairing of Oscar-winner Forest Whitaker and joke-thief Carlos Mencia. Perfect! Oh, and it's excruciating.
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Or maybe the better question is: Is it ever not too soon? Like some of America's greatest efforts of Marketing Jingoism -- say, Lego's exploitation of 9/11, or Chevrolet's exploitation of Vietnam, Hurricane Katrina and 9/11 -- Lionsgate's new mini-trailer for From Paris With Love is both curiously timed to a month before its release and 11 days after a Nigerian terror suspect attempted to blow up a jetliner in Detroit. That's a little late for a trailer (and early for a commercial), but right on time to take full advantage of all the violent, terror-busting goodness within. Sure, we're dealing with Lionsgate, which knows well where its genre bread is buttered. But can I just be the first to say: Eww?
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With the Sundance Film Festival fast approaching, we're launching our Countdown to Sundance, where the Movieline staff (and some special guests) will break down all the notable films and events Park City's got to offer this year. First up for our video dissection: The Runaways, Floria Sigismondi's high-profile band biopic starring Kristen Stewart, Dakota Fanning, and a conspicuous drop of blood. Ever at your service, I offer three things the film has going for it -- and three against.
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A lot, it turns out! This corporate video from the "virtual backlot" magicians at Stargate Studios, reveals just how much of what we assume are TV location shoots are actually filmed in front of green screens. Why bother shooting Ugly Betty sidestepping a reporter and bumping into someone on the street when you can build a to-scale replica covered in green material, then digitally add an extra being jostled by a phantom Ugly Betty in post? Voila! The illusion is seamless! Watching this, I was reminded of an old sketch from Late Night with David Letterman in which Mark Hamill cracks an egg into a bowl; then a video spoofing those Star Wars making-of featurettes reveals that the egg was rigged with several tiny explosive charges, and Hamill had actually just mimed cracking it in front of a blue screen. Get it? It would have been easier just to shoot him cracking an egg! (But not as cool.) (And if anyone can find that video, I'd be much obliged.) Anyway, here's the video. Et tu, Hiro Nakamura? Et tu? [via Paul Scheer]
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Hey, a video! Movieline couldn't let 2009 draw to a close without presenting some awards, so take three minutes to watch as I hand out honors both irreverent and admiring. If anything, it's the only time you'll see a Supporting Actor trophy that Christoph Waltz doesn't win. Enjoy!
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If future archivists want to get a sense of just what kind of crazy year 2009 was, they could do worse than to start with this post. Over the next few pages, Movieline has posted its 15 favorite entertainment-related videos of the year. Click through, press play, and take a trip down a very bonkers memory lane.
Last night's episode of 60 Minutes featured warnings about the California water shortage, Lara Logan's visit to Afghanistan, and flying squirrel people; but it was Andy Rooney's insights into the grind of existence that spoke the loudest. Instead of closing off the program with a rant about viewer mail, crowded shopping malls or the general concept of extreme wealth, the curmudgeon extraordinaire directed his grumpiness at New Year's Eve. Eschewing the typical excitement for a new calendar year full of opportunities, Rooney railed against the holiday and vowed to spend the night alone, drowning his misery in a tub of coffee ice cream. The grim (or comfortingly validating) video after the jump.
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WB has finally rolled out the full, English-language trailer for Christopher Nolan's Inception (none of that au francais whatnot -- this one is for realsies). What have we learned that we didn't know already? Not too much -- Leonardo DiCaprio still looks like Nolan himself, some of the images recall the director's last movie, and the scenery seems as pliable a fruit roll-up. There's a little bit in there that sheds light on DiCaprio's dream-surfing corporate raider, but otherwise, it's just an appetizer of unusual visuals. Let us know if this has you running up the walls in anticipation:
Movieline's Two-Minute Verdict has parsed some astoundingly convoluted (or convolutedly astounding?) trailers in 2009, from After Last Season to Perfect Sport. Yet neither of those -- in fact, no trailer ever -- has presented quite the bafflement that is the first spot for something called Violent Blue. From its accompanying plot synopsis to its screamy, disjointed, narrative-allergic, mildly NSFW set-ups, director Gregory Hatanaka has pushed trailer arts to unprecedented heights of insanity. And that's not the oxygen getting thinner around you, either; that's just your brain melting.
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The first Sex and the City movie helped usher in a wave of female film phenomenons, and now Sex and the City 2 is coming along to give that Twilight-gorged audience segment some questionable fashion and nice, soft lighting. SATC2's trailer boasts a road trip segment and hey, fun fact: The original movie was supposed to be a road trip until Kim Cattrall pulled out (by the time she agreed to participate years later, writer/director Michael Patrick King had reconceived the project). However...Morocco? Really, girls?
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Some observations of Christopher Nolan's Inception, based on this French-dubbed trailer:
1. Dreidel!
2. Life is actually a series of maps. When God is done playing with one city for the day, he rolls it up and puts it in a drawer.
3. A glass of water!
4. Trafficjambreaker!
5. More water! (Way more.)
6. LE CHEVALIER NOIR is how I'd like to be addressed at all times.
Verdict: How do you say "confused" in French?
Just a few hours ago, we were all reminded how a bad action rom-com trailer can result in a few of the most dissatisfying minutes of your week. Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz have since issued a reaction of sorts for next summer's Knight & Day, and while it's not going to make anyone forget Mr. & Mrs. Smith, there's no denying they might be on to something.
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In an instantly infamous interview last week, NYT film critic Manohla Dargis excoriated Hollywood for its affronts to women both on-screen and in the audience -- particularly in the realm of romantic comedy. "One, the people making them have no f*cking taste," Dargis said. "Two, they're morons, three they're insulting panderers who think they're making movies for the great unwashed and that's what they want." With that in mind, who's ready for the first trailer for The Bounty Hunter, featuring Jennifer Aniston ensnared by her title-character ex, thrown in a car trunk, and handcuffed to a bed, all to a jaunty pop soundtrack in about 30 seconds flat?
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Sure, it may seem like Holmes and Watson wrested the bromosexual spotlight away from this summer's Star Trek slash pairing of Kirk and Spock, but wait! What's this? Could it be that someone reedited Zachary Quinto's audiobook reading of the Star Trek tie-in novel to create an incredibly dirty, NSFW love scene between Starfleet's two most eligible bachelors? If you're up for a good time that puts the "alternate" in "alternate universe," turn down your speakers and enjoy a graphic, three-minute encounter between Kirk and Spock that involves just about everything but a repurposed Vulcan salute (for that, we can only hope that J.J. Abrams gets cracking on a sequel right away). Top this, Jude Law!
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Man, oh man. So, OK. In (500) Days of Summer, remember that part where Joseph Gordon-Levitt is so pleased that he got inside Zooey Deschanel's American Apparel boy shorts that he launches into a full-fledged musical number scored to the Hall and Oates classic "You Make My Dreams"? Well, I have a hunch that director Marc Webb is feeling mighty unambitious right about now, because Shorewood High School has gone and filmed their own lip-dub of the song, and it's shot in (seemingly) one take, and it was filmed backwards, and it's amazing. How long before Hollywood signs Mr. Ballew's Video Class to a three-picture deal?
Take a look for yourself:
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