Nothing Can Prepare You For the Masterpiece That is the Violent Blue Trailer

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Movieline's Two-Minute Verdict has parsed some astoundingly convoluted (or convolutedly astounding?) trailers in 2009, from After Last Season to Perfect Sport. Yet neither of those -- in fact, no trailer ever -- has presented quite the bafflement that is the first spot for something called Violent Blue. From its accompanying plot synopsis to its screamy, disjointed, narrative-allergic, mildly NSFW set-ups, director Gregory Hatanaka has pushed trailer arts to unprecedented heights of insanity. And that's not the oxygen getting thinner around you, either; that's just your brain melting.

Seriously. What Avatar is to performance-capture CGI, Violent Blue represents to utter confusion -- a kind of state-of-the-art of the stuff, as though Hatanaka joined his pals on a grade-A batshit bender only to pass out, wake up alone and find the video camera sitting on the kitchen counter, calling out forlornly with its promise of memory. (And leather masks. And voice boxes. And women rolling on top of each other like drugged logs.) Which is to say nothing of the grim synopsis that called me to it, yet seems to have slipped by the filmmaker's wayside:

An 18-year old boy is accused of molesting a 12-year old girl. They call each other "soul mates" and claim they never more than kissed. He's put away for 6 years and she waits for him but in the meantime is beaten, gang-raped, impregnated and thrown out onto the streets only to eventually turn to a life of drugs, theft and prostitution. Did society make things better for her by putting this "sex offender" behind bars? And when he's released can they ever go back to how things once were? This is the story of true love.

Hey! Waiiiiiit a second -- isn't that actually the set-up for Warning!!! Pedophile Released, one of the earlier works by Jaycee Dugard's loathed biopic-planner Shane Ryan? Is this purposely misleading, or just garden-variety, harebrained indie gimmickry? That will no doubt be determined, but at least that matter has the potential of straightening itself out. Violent Blue itself may be too far gone to recover. And now, after my fifth viewing of its trailer, I can only mean that in the best way possible.

VERDICT: Can't. Wait.

· Violent Blue trailer [Trailer Addict]



Comments

  • Martini Shark says:

    I just drank some egg nog that happened to be left out unrefridgerated for the past 3 days. I don't know if I should credit that, or be grateful for it at this stage.

  • OldTowneTavern says:

    You know, there's a limit to how far I'm willing to follow you white people into your foolishness.

  • SunnydaZe says:

    Christmas Eve at Charlie Sheen's house??

  • LYT says:

    Yep, definitely the wrong synopsis. That is the description for Warning!!! Pedophile Released, which is also distributed by Cinema Epoch. I can't entirely describe the plot of Violent Blue, but that isn't it.

  • Tony Young says:

    Who does your research? Just because a trailer has no synopsis doesn't give you the right to pull one at random from the distributor's site.
    T.L. Young

  • SunnydaZe says:

    The above trailer combined with Cinema Epoch's website combined with the link to the previous "Warning!!!" article combined with the links to LYT and Tony Young's respective blogs make this the strangest and most unnerving Movieline post of the decade!
    I suggest everyone involved (except me and Stu, of course) should be rewarded by having their nads clobbered off in Lars Von Trier's next film....

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