"Sleeping with the Enemy" was an unfortunate title for last night's Jersey Shore, as more inspirational events occurred than Vinny's getdown with the Staten Island Hyena (or whatever we're supposed to call her now). Still, it won't deter a little bit of grade-giving in all of your favorite fresh-to-death subjects, ranging from "Herpes Evasion" to "Anti-Angelina Activism." Join us for the grade sheet.
This marks a sad state of affairs for the world: A global language survey determined that the words "BP Spillcam," "dysfunctional" (associated with Modern Family) and "Guido" were the most used words of the 2009-2010 television season. The survey used a math formula to track words and phrases used in print and electronic media. Other popular choices included "Lady Gaga," "rude" (associated with Simon Cowell) and "Asperger's Syndrome." Better luck next year, Glee and Oprah. [Reuters]
Stephen Colbert continued his two-part "Been There, Won That" special last night with a performance by John Legend, free t-shirts and a Snooki tutorial. Elsewhere, Craig Ferguson dissed Rashida Jones and her new film, Jimmy Kimmel took a Modern Family star back-to-school shopping, Meghan McCain accepted a love letter from Jon Stewart and Diane Sawyer shared her husband's morning advice.
Claudia Donovan is Warehouse 13's techie-type character, the one who spends long hours cataloging stuff like Man Ray's soul-sucking camera and P.T. Barnum's top -- and then fortuitously saves everyone's life with a quick hack to her cell phone and a glancing pop-culture reference to boot. She's just so likable! So don't be surprised when her real-life counterpart, Allison Scagliotti, wins you over with some big spoilers for the Warehouse season finale and a name drop of her favorite Mad Men character.
Also in this morning's TV Bites: HBO sets a return date for In Treatment... Nerds will get to see the next season of Caprica much sooner than they thought... and more ahead.
Finally, internet memes even a lout like Roger Sterling can get behind. We've mentioned Sad Don Draper and Pete Campbell's Bitchface, two Tumblr accounts devoted to capturing the hilarity of certain Mad Men screenshots, captioning them, and sometimes photoshopping them to reference pop culture. But there's still a slew of Mad Men characters waiting for their chance at viral glory, and we've got five in mind for those who care to develop these sorts of things, along with three scenes each to get them started.
If the following tabloid story is true, it stands to be the best Jay Leno automotive distress tale of the day (yes, even better than the report that Leno's 1907 White Steam Car broke down in front of an Encino Chili's during Labor Day weekend and the Tonight Show host lovingly willed his car back to health with the support of generous anti-Coco passersby). Do you have your grain of salt at the ready? Let's begin.
If you're not in the mood to watch Maggie Q fire glocks at baddies on the Nikita premiere, there's plenty of reality TV magic to go around as JWOWW unleashes the gorilla fury within her on Jersey Shore and Michael Kors unravels a potentially fabulous challenge on Project Runway.
Bad news for glamour appreciators everywhere: Misbegotten Newlyweds star Jessica Simpson will guest-judge this season's Project Runway finale (Simpson checked out the contestants' collections this morning at Fashion Week). And things were going so well! Let's take this unfortunate moment to revisit the fashion design series' five worst judges in its eight-season history, taking to task all the featured panelists whose taste levels we've questioned more than Kenley Collins's.
Gleeks may be excited for their darling Kurt to date the new jock played by Chord Overstreet, but Chris Colfer is hesitant. "I feel like it's not going to happen because all the girls are going to fall in love with [Overstreet] and they're not going to want to see [him with Kurt]. I don't want to be the guy girls hate. I'm the gay guy the girls love," the Emmy-nominated actor told EW. "I don't want the letters that say, 'Kurt needs to get off our man. Stop kissing our boyfriend'...I don't want to know how Kristen Stewart feels. I don't want to be the Bella of the Glee world." [EW]
In today's edition of the New York Times, film critic A.O. Scott surveys the wreckage of a summer of bad movies (my eyes still burn from Eat, Pray, Love) and wonders if "any of the movies surfacing this fall [will] provoke the kind of conversation that television series routinely do, breaking beyond niches into something larger." Well, hopefully! But in his lament of the lameness of the film industry, isn't Scott giving the television industry a bit too much credit?
FX's Terriers premiered last night in a fun blitz of crime, whimsy, and Donal Logue's Crazy Heart facial hair. I'll stick around for a few more episodes -- and you should too, gumshoes. Here's why.
Believe it or not, the remaining Big Brother contestants rang in their 68th day in the household yesterday. It was a milestone marked by tears, enough hairspray to burn a POV-shaped hole through the ozone layer, and the classiest exit speech yet. Movieline stacks the most repulsive players from last night's episode below.
Stop me if you've heard this one before: J.J. Abrams is producing a new television show! Oh, right. The multihypenate, who attached his name to no less than four other film and television projects this summer, is currently shopping an untitled crime thriller created by Christopher Nolan's screenwriter brother, Jonah. Considering the fact Abrams has previously sold shows to ABC, Fox and NBC, doesn't it seem like CBS should get in on the action this time around, or is that just the completist in me? [EW]
Keepin' it in the family! In the new issue of Redbook, Lauren Graham reveals that she is dating her Parenthood costar and onscreen sibling Peter Krause. "I've been really protective of it, because it's important that you can buy us as brother and sister on the show," she says. Of course, Krause isn't the only Six Feet Under alum to dally with a TV sibling, as Michael C. Hall famously married his Dexter sister Jennifer Carpenter. How long do you give it before Rachel Griffiths starts dating Matthew Rhys? [Redbook]
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