Big Brother Repulsion Index: Hairspray and Heartbreak

BigBrotherEnzo.jpgBelieve it or not, the remaining Big Brother contestants rang in their 68th day in the household yesterday. It was a milestone marked by tears, enough hairspray to burn a POV-shaped hole through the ozone layer, and the classiest exit speech yet. Movieline stacks the most repulsive players from last night's episode below.

BigBrotherEnzo.jpg4. Britney ("The Last Girl in the House")

Classiest Sentence of the Season (For Her or Anyone): "If I couldn't be an original member of the brigade, I'm at least proud to be a victim of it."

Repulsiveness Profile: Britney single-handedly removed all repulsion from her name last night by giving the most respectable exit speech this season. She knew that the Brigade alliance had beaten her fair and square, and hopefully her heartfelt sentiment and all-around appeal will win her the $25,000 for "America's Favorite Houseguest" next week.

BigBrotherEnzo.jpg3. Hayden ("The Surfer Dude")

Most Terrible Words Said on Camera: To Britney, "The last thing I'd want to do is make you sad or make you cry."

Repulsiveness Profile: Well, Hayden, then you shouldn't have made her sad or cry by choosing useless alliance members over her.

BigBrotherEnzo.jpg2. Lane ("The Farm Boy")

Most Terrible Words Said on Camera: "To see Britney hurt like that, it was like seeing one of my good dogs die."

Repulsion Index: Is that supposed to be a compliment to your forbidden love, Lane? Time will tell. Hopefully, Lane and Britney will become the Jeff and Jordan of last season.

BigBrotherEnzo.jpg1. Enzo ("The Token Guido Who Nicknamed Himself Meow Meow")

Most Terrible Words Said on Camera: "This is like a storybook finish. It couldn't have been written up any better."

Repulsion Index: If a storybook finish is you not winning a single HOH, referring to yourself in third person the entire game, and then making a more deserving player cry by telling her in the douchiest way possible that you are sending her home the next day -- a power that you earned by sheer chance rather than talent, smarts or strategy -- then yeah, Enzo, yesterday's episode was indeed a "storybook finish." I can't wait for the big Hollywood finish of this season next week.