If someone had told you in 1992 that MTV's resident jock, Dan Cortese, would be reincarnated into similarly musclebound, one-speed characters on some of the most successful television programs over the next 15 years (Seinfeld, 8 Simple Rules, Melrose Place), you probably would have been too busy huffing spray paint and listening to Sonic Youth's Dirty to care. The reality is that Dan Dan: The Whopper Man has gotten more television lives than any MTV host deserves, most recently in My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad and Superstars. Tonight, Cortese gets another chance to commentate in wrap-around sunglasses as the the co-host of ABC's new Crash Course.
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Thank you, 2009, for staying heroic and proving that a studio can adapt any plot-lacking TV show or toy into a feature-length movie (hell, I'm about to adapt this Blackberry into a three-act musical). Today, Variety announced another such project we can get behind: a feature film adaptation of Soul Train, the long-running music program featuring live acts, a grooving in-studio audience, and the indispensable closing dance-off "the Soul Train line." The film version will eschew Soul Train's '70s beginnings (rather curiously) and focus on a 'hood-based protagonist's "body-popping" talent that will vault him to recognition. That's all well and good, but this is a movie that hinges on great casting; It could mean the difference between a Dreamgirls and a The Fighting Temptations. Let's see who gets a callback.
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NBC released the synopsis for the sixth season premiere of The Office, alleviating concerns that the show was going to -- I don't know -- turn into a war miniseries. Freewheeling idiot Michael Scott still finds himself alienated from his sly employees and their fun commotion, and your usual cast of characters returns with quips couched between pregnant pauses. Oh, and also, maybe, there are murders.
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There is a circle of hell in which a Biblical giant throws sinners into a fiery pit, sacrifices them to a six-winged beast and then straps their charred remains down to await Satan Himself, who arrives carrying the latest Gossip Girl bonus features DVD. He silently inserts the disc into a Craigslist-purchased TV/DVD combo player and walks out as the said sinner is subjected to an eternity of Leighton Meester breaking into baby voices each time she flubs a line. Fortunately for the forever-damned, Gossip Girl recently released ten minutes of season two bloopers, providing fresh Blake Lively giggles, cellphone ring-interrupted shots and Pilates-related Freudian slips to echo against the caves of hell until the end of time.
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Even though Michael Cera finally signed onto the Arrested Development film, Alia Shawkat confirmed that Mitch Hurwitz is slaving over the script and we've heard rumblings that production is set to begin in December, we are still only guardedly optimistic about George Michael reaching the big screen. After all, Hurwitz doesn't have the best of luck and our nerves simply can't handle another small to big screen disappointment (Gilmore Girls, anyone?). Maybe today's Development news from Tony Hale will strengthen our faith in a second coming of the Bluth family.
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While Victoria Beckham scavenges for face time on American airwaves, LaToya is letting the networks come to her. Following the confirmation that her brother Michael's death was a homicide (as she had surmised from the beginning), the 53-year-old singer is set for an interview on 20/20 this September 11. Might this be the start of a highly televised return to quasi-prominence?
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I'm not sure how many innocent shapeshifters Alan Ball had to sacrifice for this, but Sunday's episode of True Blood earned the series its highest ratings ever -- for the fifth week in a row. Just how crazy has True Blood's ratings path been this season?
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E! hit ratings gold last week with its premiere of Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami following Kourtney's conveniently timed pregnancy announcement. Sure, the grotesque amount of tabloid coverage will keep Robert Kardashian's oldest and youngest daughters afloat in the Magic City for the first trimester, but after that, Khloe might want to consider drumming up her own illegitimate pregnancy scandal.
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Reveling in orchestrated dysfunction is a hallmark of reality television, particularly when it comes to the Starbucks-and-appointments blitz of Bravo's The Rachel Zoe Project. It's also paramount to the plot of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, an absurd film (adapted from Edward Albee's legendary play) from the '60s about a maniacal couple named George and Martha who come unhinged -- on purpose, generally -- for invited house guests. Has Bravo unintentionally programmed an Albee play within Rachel Zoe's stylista circus? Following yesterday's season two premiere, let's break it down.
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Vogue editor Anna Wintour debuted her talk show personality last night on The Late Show With David Letterman. After shuffling onstage in her trademark sunglasses to Paul Shaffer's jazzy rendition of Dance to the Music, Wintour whipped off the shades, planted herself next to Dave and then...sat stiffly through a pleasantly restrained back and forth with the Late Show host.
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You may have wondered, "Why?" when you heard about A&E's upcoming Steven Seagal: Lawman reality series. We did too. Why would a network want to only feature Seagal's work as a deputy while excluding so many areas of the solemn movie hero's life? The man is also an action movie star, a recording artist, an animal rights activist and a healer. After seeing the following action-packed trailer for Steven Seagal: Lawman though, so full of car chases, tasers, slick hair and even a foot through the windshield, we understood that there simply wasn't a second to spare on Seagal's humanitarian work.
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Nurse Jackie's phenomenal first season draws to a close with tonight's finale. While many of the threads are tied up (the movie critic in the coma, Eddie discovering Jackie's personal life) the season finale focuses more on Jackie's unraveling. For a spoiler-free preview of the episode entitled "Health Care and Cinema," follow us after the jump.
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Episode 10: New World in My View
We've now had a week to recover from last week's stunning finale, featuring Godric's self-immolation on the roof of a Dallas-area Costco in the name of Our Vampire Sins. He may have only lasted three episodes, but he'll be in our hearts forever, and people will undoubtedly twist his words for millenia to suit their particular, bigoted needs at any given moment. This week's action-packed episode, meanwhile, begins with Eric shedding tears of blood as Sookie consoles him. The two engage in a passionate kiss. Fangs are bared. Not surprisingly, it was all a dream. Sookie and Eric probably won't actually do it until the season finale, just two short episodes away.
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Victoria Beckham's had a long-standing desire to conquer American television, one that supersedes her dream to just become America's Next Top Czarina. For her newest network venture, Beckham will replace Elizabeth Hasselbeck on The View for one episode during the regular co-host's maternity leave -- a notable gig for Beckham, who's previously relied on former Spice Girls manager Simon Fuller for her big breaks (he produced her U.S. reality special for NBC and landed Beckham her recent guest judging gig on his own American Idol). Still, none of this news addresses a salient issue: Do stateside couch-dwellers really care about Victoria Beckham?
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Television's fashion season has officially begun, with the hefty Project Runway power block last week, tonight's season premiere of The Rachel Zoe Project and a very special Anna Wintour appearance on The Late Show With David Letterman. The Vogue editrix already proved that she can laugh at her chilly reputation with 60 Minutes's Morley Safer, but will she loosen up even more for her first late night appearance? Dave tends to be on top of his game for his more serious guests and hopefully tonight's segment won't be any different.
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