Dan Cortese's Charmed Life

If someone had told you in 1992 that MTV's resident jock, Dan Cortese, would be reincarnated into similarly musclebound, one-speed characters on some of the most successful television programs over the next 15 years (Seinfeld, 8 Simple Rules, Melrose Place), you probably would have been too busy huffing spray paint and listening to Sonic Youth's Dirty to care. The reality is that Dan Dan: The Whopper Man has gotten more television lives than any MTV host deserves, most recently in My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad and Superstars. Tonight, Cortese gets another chance to commentate in wrap-around sunglasses as the the co-host of ABC's new Crash Course.

Crash Course [9 PM, ABC]

ABC wheels out a stunt-heavy program tonight to complement its Wipeout lead-in. The competition series features five two-member teams who will participate in whacked out vehicular challenges involving something called "car bowling" and backward drag racing. Orlando Jones joins Dan Cortese as co-host.

Top Chef: Las Vegas [10 PM, Bravo]

This week, the chef-testants are divided into male and female teams before preparing food for bachelor and bachelorette parties. The guest judge is celebrity chef Todd English.

Billionaire Crime Scenes: Was It Murder? [10 PM, E!]

E! investigates murders of the very wealthy in this hour-long program, following the two-hour 20 Most Horrifying Hollywood Murders countdown. Of all of the networks airing various forms of crime today, E! has the least credibility, but if you're looking for a little gore-less tale of intrigue before Chelsea Lately, this is your best bet.

Spring Breakdown [9 PM, Lifetime]

This barely released comedy starring Rachel Dratch, Amy Poehler and Parker Posey abandoning their make-your-own pizza nights for a raucous spring break vacation is a must-see. Don't let the fact that this was released directly to video scare you. Amber Tamblyn, Seth Meyers, Missi Pyle, Jane Lynch, Mae Whitman and Kristin Cavallari co-star.