Dancing with the Stars aired another unsurprising elimination last night, finally ripping the last rose petal out of Bachelor star Jake Pavelka's withering self-esteem bouquet. I admit that his pre-dance clip packages were probably the most entertaining, as they featured the following memorable quotes: "I feel stupid," "You're making me feel stupid," and "Dammit!" among others. He was the closest thing the voting audience had to an idealized self-projection. His melancholy elimination video, along with our ruminations on his future, is after the jump.
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There will never be another Hills personality to plumb the emotional depths like Lauren Conrad, but that being said, last night's premiere of the series final go-round was surprisingly melancholy. Maybe it's because the ironically titled "Put On Your Happy Face" was the first installment of a season-long funeral? Heidi's family mourned the daughter they knew and tried to accept the plastic figurine that Mattel dropped on their Crested Butte doorstep, Kristin partied grimly until 8 a.m. every morning, and Stephanie tried to suppress her own death wish.
Rather than wait in line for this buffet of sorrow, Movieline will hand-deliver you the truest and fakest moments from last night's episode. Two interventions (one sponsored by Pepsi), await you after the jump.
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No, you were not hallucinating during last night's hit of Glee. Lea Michele did only have three throwaway lines. Tony Award-nominated actor Jonathan Groff was paid to walk around in a gigantic cheeseburger costume. Emma Pillsbury (the red-headed guidance counselor Lindsay Lohan slammed for slamming her) was curiously M.I.A. after nearly losing her virginity to the Schue last week. And Cory Monteith spent the episode directing comically over-the-top line readings to a leather La-Z-Boy. To paraphrase Juno, It started with a chair...and ended with Finn threatening to flush his dad's ashes down the toilet.
Click through to read Movieline's analysis of this week's installment, and pay attention -- there will be a pop quiz.
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File this under potentially earth-shattering news. While speaking with the BBC to promote Date Night, Steve Carell revealed the previously unthinkable bit of news: His time at Dunder Mifflin could be coming to an end after next season. Say it ain't so, Steve!
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Unsound decisions were made by human and Visitor alike in last night's V, in which Valerie finally found out Ryan's not human, and Lisa followed up on her empathy-test failure by trying to dissuade Tyler from joining the Live Aboard program. But what tops the list of last night's most ill-executed battle plans? Read on to find out.
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Six years after Courtney Love flashed David Letterman in a drug-addled appearance on the Late Show, the Hole front woman returned to the scene of her crime last night. There to promote her new album Nobody's Daughter, she apologized to the host before coherently discussing her drug addiction ("lots of coke" is never good, kids) and recovery. That clip, as well as the other highlights you missed while prepping for your first television interview since you were robbed of the Tonight Show, after the jump.
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· Piers Morgan is ready for his gauzy close-up. The America's Got Talent is reportedly "pretty close" to inking a deal with NBC to host periodic primetime interview programs for the network. Piers confirmed the negotiations to the New York Post and added, "I have the No.1 talk show in England. Certainly, NBC thinks it is the time to try to do something." [NYP]
CBS puts Tim Gunn behind a deep fryer, a few Glee cheerleaders try out for varsity, and more TV Bites after the jump.
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Over the past two weeks, Trey Parker and Matt Stone have been riding out the 200th episode celebration from hell. What started out as a milestone for the Comedy Central series led to death threats from a radical Islamic website. On top of that, their most recent episode, which included a lengthy response to the hype via a brave speech about fear, was completely bleeped out in a defensive effort by Comedy Central. In effect, Parker and Stone found themselves the subject of the very censorship they ridiculed earlier this season. So now what happens?
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On May 1, one of the terms of Conan O'Brien's NBC exit deal -- that he would agree not to sit for any interviews in print or on broadcast in the wake of his firing -- will expire. How eager is O'Brien to then spill his side of the story? He's got an interview lined up the very next day at 60 Minutes. Still, there's a catch. Two, in fact.__
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American Idol's theme weeks this season have unevenly suited the contestants. Rolling Stones week is an obvious fit for Lee DeWyze, but a weak choice for then-eliminated Lacey Brown. Shania Twain week (tonight's episode) is the first theme to ever come close to suiting Aaron Kelly, while Michael Lynche is already preparing his "Goodbye, America" speech. It's time for a change. Here are five themes that don't skew towards one particular contestant -- and don't worry, I've done the heavy lifting and chosen songs for each singer. Caution: Kid Rock, Salt-N-Pepa, and major DioGuardi props ahead!
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Tonight, MTV premieres its sixth and final season of The Hills, an iteration that the network has mercilessly teased as the franchise's cattiest and teariest yet. But before we waste an entire season hoping that Speidi divorces, Audrina finds a boyfriend that is not a complete parasite and a cast member battles an actual addiction that is not plastic surgery-related, let's remember back, way back, to when the show had a heart. Cue the milky dissolve.
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Joan Rivers hasn't made much of a secret about her hatred for NBC, from which she says she was banned 25 years ago after striking her doomed late-night hosting deal with Fox. Save for her triumphant return to the network on Celebrity Apprentice, she has been virtually off its air since the Carson era. Furthermore, she told an audience Monday at the Tribeca Film Festival, she's a late-night pariah across the board. As you can imagine, she wasn't happy about it.
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Though the second season finale of RuPaul's Drag Race was great fun, the real action was at the after-party. In the one-hour reunion special, tears were shed, fingers were wagged, gender transitioning was tearfully discussed, and so many bizarre exchanges of dialogue occurred that they might actually benefit from being presented out of context. Thus, here are 13 of the most out-there quotes and conversations from last night's reunion:
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American Idol's top six heats up with a visit from one of the most popular recording artists of all time. That's actually an understatement: Tonight's mentor boasts the best-selling female album of all time (eighth highest-selling overall) and three diamond-certified albums. Seems incredible when you consider half the songs are called things like "Bartender! (You Ain't My Man) I'm Outta Here!"
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