Gleebasing: A 'Home' Means Kristin Chenoweth and Life-Size Cheeseburgers
No, you were not hallucinating during last night's hit of Glee. Lea Michele did only have three throwaway lines. Tony Award-nominated actor Jonathan Groff was paid to walk around in a gigantic cheeseburger costume. Emma Pillsbury (the red-headed guidance counselor Lindsay Lohan slammed for slamming her) was curiously M.I.A. after nearly losing her virginity to the Schue last week. And Cory Monteith spent the episode directing comically over-the-top line readings to a leather La-Z-Boy. To paraphrase Juno, It started with a chair...and ended with Finn threatening to flush his dad's ashes down the toilet.
Click through to read Movieline's analysis of this week's installment, and pay attention -- there will be a pop quiz.
This week's episode "Home," kicked off with Sue Sylvester telling Mercedes that she had to drop ten pounds by the end of the week. The reason was hazy: Mercedes was wearing track uniforms over her Cheerios outfit because she didn't feel comfortable exposing that much flesh. Also, a journalist would be arriving at the end of the week to do another story on the Cheerios. With that vague warning, Sue Sylvester dropped another non sequitur ("I'm going to put a call into the Ohio secretary of state notifying them that I will no longer be carrying photo I.D. Do you know why? People should know who I am").
Sue also used her blackmail power to annex the auditorium for the entire week. "That's garbage. We need the auditorium to practice for regionals!" shouted Robo-Finn. Instead of boosting the glee club's morale by beat-boxing the first verse of "Somewhere," Schue break-danced over to the nearest roller rink to inquire about leasing space. That Will Schuester is so resourceful!
At the roller rink, Schue re-discovered Kristin Chenoweth's April, who greeted him by shouting "Will Schuester, I just had a sex dream about you!" into the microphone. They sang Springsteen's "Fire" at the rink before taking the duet back to Schue's apartment, which April said she wanted to sub-lease. They ended up in bed together, singing "One Less Bell to Answer." At the end of the episode, April inherited $2 million of hush money from her tycoon boyfriend and announced that she will buy the auditorium for Schue's club.
Meanwhile, Kurt set his widowed father up with Finn's widowed mother, hoping that the pair would fall in love and move in together, meaning that Kurt and Finn could be roommates. When Kurt's father bonded with Finn over sports, Kurt aborted his Parent Trap plan.
Back at school, Mercedes became so hungry after limiting her caloric intake that she imagined that her friends were walking cupcakes and cheeseburgers before passing out. Surprisingly, Quinn came to her side in the nurse's office, explaining that she had once suffered from an eating disorder. By the end of the episode, Mercedes sang "Beautiful" at a pep rally, inviting anyone else in the audience who ever felt fat or ugly to join her. The journalist falsely believed that Sue Sylvester had designed this inclusive performance and credited her: "You got every shape and size Cheerio up there singing about empowerment and inclusion."
· Sue Sylvester asking Kurt and Mercedes, "How do you two not have a show on Bravo?"
· The Splits journalist telling Sue, "You're bossy, insulting and the fact that twice you called me Rerun makes me think you're a little racist"
· Schue and April showing up the rest of the episode with last night's couples skate duet of Springsteen's "Fire"
· Schue and April's "One Less Bell to Answer" duet may have been one of the most technically strong performances of last night's episode, but it lacked the energy and choreography that this episode really needed
· Mercedes' pep rally rendition of Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful"
· Finn's story line about not wanting his mother to get rid of his father's recliner chair. Apparently, the only picture Finn has of himself with his father was staged on that very chair
Sue Sylvester master cleanse - (n.) a diet drink designed by the Cheerios coach to keep her team in shape. Recipe includes water, maple syrup, lemon, cayenne pepper and a dash of ipecac. Because of it, Sue Sylvester has not had a solid meal since 1987.
Fong schwong - (n.) April's alternative pronunciation of feng shui.
Pretty woman - (v.) According to Kurt, this is the action of making-over a woman from a slob to fabulousness. "Haven't you noticed anything new about your mom? New clothes? New make-up? A haircut that doesn't look like it was styled by the Amish? Who do you think "pretty woman-ed" her up?"
1. According to Carole Hudson, Finn was conceived on...
a) a La-Z-Boy recliner.
b) a bed of lead-based paint chips.
c) the hood of his father's mustang.
d) a pinball machine.
2. April claims that she has finally realized her lifelong ambition of...
a) kicking the Jack for the rink.
b) being the mistress of an incredibly wealthy strip mall tycoon.
c) waking up sober.
d) singing in a roller rink.
3. Which line does Kurt use on his father and Finn's mother?
a) "You both have dead spouses. Maybe you should talk."
b) "You both have appalling fashion sense. Maybe you should talk."
c) "I have a crush on your straight son. Maybe you should talk."
d) "Your son could use some guidance. Maybe you should talk."
4. Which of the following characters had more lines than Rachel this week?
5. Who does Brittany think has been reading her diary?
a) Her cat.
b) Her dog.
c) Her baby niece.
d) Sue Sylvester.