America loves a good ol’ fashioned bachelor party. It's a time honored tradition that’s been committed to film again and again, including in this week’s gender-reversal romp, Bachelorette, where the ladies get to behave badly. In honor of that film Movieline takes a look at the holy grail of bachelor party movies, and a bad movie we love: Bachelor Party, starring future Oscar-winner Tom Hanks.
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This August has brought us not one but two ghost possession horror flicks, in the form of The Apparition and The Possession, a double dose of the spooky scary ghoulish torment of nice, innocent people. Why do ghosts always come back to earth to do horrible, icky things? Why wouldn’t they come back to do totally RADICAL things, like make out with hot chicks, race hot rods, and enact some vengeance on bad dudes, all in the form of Charlie Sheen in his prime? I would totally do that if I were a ghost. GUITAR SHRED!! That’s right, get ready for the awesomeness that is the 1986 cult classic The Wraith.
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Don’t shoot the messenger! This week's wide release of the Joseph Gordon-Levitt bike courier film Premium Rush inspired Movieline to deliver this cinematic parcel to your doorstep. Once each generation, Hollywood pushes a product centered on the travails of these municipal nomads; back in the 1970s there was a love story with Tom Berenger in Rush It; CBS tried out the courier-based sitcom Double Rush with Robert Pastorelli and David Arquette; Jessica Alba played an urban biker in Dark Angel; and, most recently, came the Chinese import Beijing Bicycle. The desire to portray the world of bike messenger-ing is understandably tempting — the close-knit society, rebellious personalities, and high-risk action of the work beg for a dramatic treatment. But one title rises seat and handlebars above all the others in this micro-sub-genre: 1986's Kevin Bacon vehicle Quicksilver. more »
Forty years ago this Friday, United Artists released Diamonds Are Forever -- the seventh entry in the James Bond series, and one that dragged founding franchise star Sean Connery out of 007 retirement in the hopes of rinsing the bad taste that his replacement, George Lazenby, left in moviegoers' mouths in the 1969 film On Her Majesty's Secret Service. Connery succeeded, but only by making what remains arguably the silliest Bond film to date. Enfolding globetrotting jewel smugglers, reclusive Las Vegas casino barons, effete hit men, bikinied enforcers named after cartoons, lunar-landing conspiracy bait, cosmetically enhanced villain-doppelgangers, and more one-liners than a decade's worth of White House Correspondents Dinners, Diamonds Are Forever is campier than a dome tent and almost as vacant.
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It's time to do some shopping, kids. After a week of semi-reasonable Golden Globe nominations (!) and the tragic downfall of The Daldry, I'm throwing away wads of cash at the Glendale Americana and never looking back. Do you think they sell the exotic headgear Elizabeth Taylor wore in Raintree County? Maybe at Zara or something? I don't know. Let's review the week and run away somewhere.
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The next Nicholas Sparks joint, The Lucky One, comes out April 20, but Zac Efron gives us everything we need to survive the five-month wait -- namely, a killer pout. He stars in The Lucky One as an Iraq War vet who comes home to locate the unknown woman who served as his "good luck charm during the war." In the film's poster, he appears to have found her: Taylor Schilling, of the unfairly canceled NBC drama Mercy, stands in frame. Pretty damn Notebook-y all around.
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I'm clinically unashamed most of the time, but today I come to you with a confession worthy of St. Augustine or at least Diane Keaton: Twilight may be the ultimate Bad Movie We Love. It is surely bad, as it looks and acts like the longest, moodiest Evanescence video of all time, but it's also hard to resist. It's neither pretentious nor overconfident. It's silly. Bella Swan is hot for a shock-white ghoul with darting pupils and a social disorder. Celebrate.
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What do you get when you take the cartoon/live-action interplay of Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, remove the classic WB/Disney characters, and replace them with loud, gurgling, predatory sexual freaks? You get goofy gonorrhea and the 1992 bomb Cool World starring Moneyball-er Brad Pitt, a perverted young Gabriel Byrne, and Kim Basinger, an Oscar winner who exhibits the dramatic range of Claudia Schiffer. This movie's bad because it's drawn that way.
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I don't know how Sarah Jessica Parker does it, but a lot of her movies are staggering shit fortresses. Failure to Launch? Did You Hear About the Morgans? This weekend's I Don't Know How She Does It? The Family Stone? That movie made me feel like Diane Keaton's cancer, and it's still a Mensa candidate compared to today's Bad Movie We Love: the epic, Tropical Skittle-colored trek to Abu Dhabi, Sex and the City 2. It's so famously bad that its bad reviews are famous. It's the movie that asks the question, "How can we save a franchise that has devolved into materialistic fetishism?" and answers it with, "JEWELS." Cheers, girls!
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