Despite ABC's best efforts to keep the identity of its scandal-wreaking bachelorette under wraps for an inappropriately dramatic reveal followed by a pack of angry women flagellating the two-timer with bouquets of long-stemmed roses on January 11, Radar has foiled the network's plans by revealing that the culprit was Rozlyn Papa. And the rat who leaked the identity of the Richmond, Virginia makeup artist/hairstylist (read: struggling model) was no less than her middle school boyfriend. Other damning developments, including her modeling stats and her corny aviation-themed pun, after the jump.
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Nip/Tuck's cosmetic overhaul throughout its six seasons often seemed like a facelift from hell. The sinister electricity of its first years warped into delirium; swaggering surgeons Sean McNamara (Dylan Walsh) and Christian Troy (Julian McMahon) have come close to dying multiple times, and they've both been pursued by enough serial killers that the whole "Carver" arc seems bland in comparison. The strange mania the show has come to embrace since its Golden Globe-decorated first season is finally mitigated in its seventh (and final) season opener, a funny, tight episode of mischief and not-so-rose-colored nostalgia.
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Be prepared tonight for the most high-octane reunion since 30 Rock reassembled the cast of Night Court. Or, just revel in the fact that new programming is back on primetime -- upcoming Winter Olympics or American Idol season be damned. Or, wait around for ABC Family to air to grant you your eternal reward with the funnest Disney film of the '90s.
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You have not played Taboo until you've played with Michael Cera. That's what Jimmy Fallon's viewers and one lucky audience member (who bore a striking resemblance to Cera's Juno co-star Ellen Page) learned during yesterday's edition of Late Night. That edge-of-the-seat guessing game, as well as the other must-see moments you missed while splicing together your Betty White highlights reel, after the jump.
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· Christmas comes late for die-hard Arrested Development fans, who have all but disassembled their George Michael vision boards while waiting for Mitch Hurwitz to complete the mythical AR film script. FX's new animated comedy Archer features Bluth matriarch Jessica Walter as the "domineering mother/boss of a secret agent," and on January 28, she will be joined by her AR husband Jeffrey Tambor as a UN intelligence chief whom Walter's character attempts to seduce. The series, which premieres Jan. 14, also stars Judy Greer, Aisha Tyler and Chris Parnell. [EW]
The Bachelor promises to out its offenders, ABC bets big on comedians, and more TV Bites after the jump.
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Though Ellen DeGeneres doesn't officially join Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, and Kara DioGuardi on American Idol's judging panel until February, the first photo of the talk show maven with the Idol cast was released today. The picture doesn't prove DeGeneres has ever actually met her new co-workers, though. Even better, it proves that -- apparently -- a good Photoshopper is harder to come by than Nikki McKibbon's latest single.
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Sharon Stone will follow up her arc on Huff and Emmy-winning turn on The Practice with a four-episode gig on Law & Order: SVU in April. The actress will channel her former Basic Instinct interrogator as a hardened cop-turned-prosecutor who challenges Benson and Stabler. Believing that the Casino star could be the first guest star capable of the big four SVU crimes (rape, child rape, rape/murder, child rape/murder), creator Dick Wolf raved "It is obviously a thrill and a delight to have a star of Sharon's wattage and importance joining SVU." [EW]
James Franco's maniacal arc on General Hospital is winding down this week with a conclusion grifted straight from The Dark Knight and today, the actor has stepped forward to further discuss the end-goal that his artistic collaborator Carter suggested last month in Movieline's exclusive interview. So join us, in a James Franco-produced mind game of gallery shows, soap opera directorial debuts and cross-dressing collaborators, to piece together how Franco's stay in Port Charles will actually end.
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Your favorite late night hosts rang in the new year yesterday with a fresh line-up of guests eager to embarrass themselves in the honorable tradition of hawking their upcoming projects. Among them, Movieline interviewee Michael Cera, Rosie Perez, Patton Oswalt and Jersey Shore's punch-victim Snooki, who celebrated her second humiliating segment at the grease-stained hands of Jay Leno. After the jump, find the best after hours moments you missed while whispering tender nothings into your anime body pillow.
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Pilot Jake Pavelka, this year's Bachelor, has a lot of ladies and puns to sift through before he can choose a lifelong mate. Subtitled On the Wings of Love, this season features plenty of contestants who carry unchecked hilarity right through customs and attempt to woo Mr. Pavelka with turbulent, sometimes embarrassingly airplane-related humor. Five insane examples of fine punnery from last night's premiere have given me vertigo -- and now you can treat yourself to the spins.
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· ESPN is gambling that its viewers would really like to be watching those college football games on their big screen TVs in 3-D and is launching the industry's first 3-D network, ESPN 3D this summer. The new outlet will feature 85 live sporting events beginning June 11 with the 2010 FIFA World Cup match. ESPN has been testing 3-D for years, even showing a USC-Ohio State college football game in 3-D in select movie theaters. [THR]
CNN bans Kathy Griffin, Mischa Barton tries her hand at prostitution, and more TV Bites after the jump.
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James Franco's lease on his sizeable murder loft in Port Charles runs out at the end of the week and General Hospital is celebrating with a five-day-long going away party, complete with modestly-staged explosions and a plot ripped straight from The Dark Knight. In order to finally square off against his nemesis and curious man-crush object Jason, "that whack job" Franco must lure Jason into a trap. So this afternoon, Franco took the two most important women in Jason's life hostage, anchored them to ticking bombs, and sat back to see which woman Batman Jason would save. Still, despite the week's hearty storyline, this afternoon's scenes proved that the random dialogue generator over at General Hospital is still misfiring.
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Since Movieline was out of commission on Friday, we're getting to our Jersey Shore wuss watch a few days late. On the plus side, Thursday's episode was low on crybaby antics, and we may have to split hairs in order to declare a victor. You'll remember that Ronnie has two wins so far, and Mike "The Situation" is in second place with one. Will DJ Pauly, who mesmerized us last episode by uttering the phrase "mixing it up on the ones and twos" a scandalous 600 times, or Vinny, who wears sky-blue t-shirts with glitter on them sometimes, pull through with a softy win?
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With only ten days between us and James Franco's 30 Rock debut, NBC released four tantalizing images from his stay at Rockefeller Center. Franco fans will be relieved to hear that he will not be reprising his General Hospital role as an artist whose canvas is murder -- but a college student whose fetish is Japanese animation. The other full-size images and Movieline's own hypotheses why James Franco's arc involves an anime body pillow, after the jump.
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Say you're a heavily obsessed-over sci-fi/fantasy series and you're about to enter your last season: What do you do to commemorate the occasion? Well, if you're Lost, you pay uncredited homage to Battlestar Galactica's final year by rounding up all your cast members to once again reenact the Last Supper. "Jesus," indeed -- not that we could ever stay mad at Lost. Click the picture after the jump for full-size.
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