Only hours after announcing that he is departing American Idol at the end of this season to focus on bringing X Factor stateside, Simon is inching forward in his plan to reunite the original American Idol judging panel. Cowell was reportedly in negotiations with his former colleague Paula Abdul as late as last week, attempting to lure her out of retirement and back to Fox for X in 2011. Now if only, Simon could get to Randy... [TMZ]
During last night's Simpsons 20th Anniversary Special! In 3D! On Ice!, director and host Morgan Spurlock took his camera crew around the country to interview all kinds of celebrities who have worked on or been influenced by Springfield's finest. Hugh Hefner creepily raved about Marge's sex appeal, John Waters described how politically incorrect the yellow family is and Nancy Cartwright explained for the 8,745th time how she landed the lucrative job of voicing Bart during an audition for Lisa. And then, amidst all of those dewy memories and glowing praises, Conan O'Brien appeared for an ironically-worded tribute to the show, which employed him between 1991 and 1993.
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Jesus wept softly and pitchily today when He learned that Simon Cowell would walk away from the Fox singing competition that made him staggeringly rich and famous, to pursue his lifelong dream of overseeing another Fox singing competition that will continue to make him staggeringly rich and famous. And what will we miss most of all? Why, his cruelty, of course! Like the Savior's message, it too comes from a place that is honest and pure. Come now as we remember five of Cowell's most stinging critiques. And remember -- it hurts him way more than it hurts the young lady he just compared to a talentless hippopotamus on national television.
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Ever since the majority of Americans gave a giant thumbs down to the John McCain presidential ticket in 2008, Sarah Palin has been peddling her memoir Going Rogue and considering her Next Step. Among the many possibilities: Design a line of smart, reasonably-priced lady suits and matching handbags; launch a motivational speaking tour targeting oppressed hockey moms of America; develop a limited edition Lenscrafters eyeglass frame or lend her camera-ease to the nation's leading conservative news station. Finally, the former Alaskan governor has come to a decision, one that smartly allows her to take advantage of her conservative roots while hunting the leading daytime talk show host. Those handbags will have to wait.
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As if your variety-programming universe wasn't rocked enough this week, manboob-flattering sweater aficionado Simon Cowell announced to a roomful of TCA reporters just minutes ago that "this will be my last season on American Idol." (Pause to commit karaokecide with the straw-end of a plastic Coca Cola cup.) His aura will still linger at Fox, however, as a U.S. version of his solely-owned The X-Factor will premiere in 2011.
Richard Heene followed up his Oscar-worthy performance on Larry King Live Friday night by checking into Larimer County Detention Center this morning. As punishment for his felony count of "attempting to influence a public servant," the one-time Wife Swap star will swap his wife again, this time for a shiv-wielding prisoner named Torch. The suffering will last 90 days, without cameras or angst-ridden pre-teens refusing to do their algebra homework nearby. [TMZ]
Within the fray of rumors and proposed solutions surrounding The Jay Leno Show's cancellation and Conan O'Brien's displacement, the opinions of stand-up comedians seem to lend this fiasco a semblance of rationale -- humanity, even. In a post that Movieline will continue to update, we compile the soundbites of stand-ups who observe the late-night shakeup seriously, furiously, clinically, apathetically, or (and hopefully this becomes most often the case) hilariously. Monologues ready!
· After cutting Jay Leno out of his burning 10 p.m. time slot, the network is already greenlighting six pilots from the pros who created Ally McBeal, House M.D., Without a Trace and CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. Among the prospective series, another David E. Kelley legal drama called Kindreds, about a "curmudgeonly ex-patent lawyer and his group of misfit associates as their lives come together to form an unconventional kind of law practice." Also on the docket, Jerry Bruckheimer's action procedural Chase, about "a real-life group in the American Southwest, who follows a fugitive apprehension team of U.S. Marshals that tracks down the nation's most notorious criminals. Sex and the City executive producer Cindy Chupack is working on a romantic comedy for the network entitled Love Bites and Steve Carell is exec producing a revamped version of Rockford Files. [THR]
Larry David tries marriage counseling, Stan Lee tries primetime, and more TV Bites after the jump.
Suburban polygamy is not what it used to be. At least for the Henricksons, who are opening up a Mormon-friendly casino, hawking jewelry on a home shopping network, selling exotic birds on the down low, indulging in homosexual urges and parading a dead body around Salt Lake City like a Weekend at Bernie's sideshow in tomorrow night's fourth season premiere.
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You think that your week was bad? Try having the two most important women in your life kidnapped by a maniac killer, hidden away in two separate locations both outfitted with identical bombs counting down to the same second, and realizing that you can only save one. That's the hell that General Hospital's Franco unleashed on Jason Morgan this week, and if that doesn't ease your week's blow, maybe the following emotional scenes from this afternoon's episode will.
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Conan O'Brien has even more to consider now that Fox has thrown its hat into the ring for the Tonight Show host. This afternoon, the New Corp.-owned channel announced that if Conan would like to quit the Peacock, he "would be a great fit for Fox." If Fox decides to go the late night route, it would have to persuade its affiliates to give up airtime for the potential show first. [LAT]
Last night's episode was, uh, loud. Vinny hosted a dinner for his family, friends, friends' families, cousin's boyfriend, aunt's jump-rope troop, the Boys and Girls' Club of Seaside Heights, a few cats, and a wise old Cribbage coach. Ronnie throttled the face of a Headliners clubgoer with just one fist, even though we wanted to see him do it with his neck. And Snooki engaged in fisticuffs with a hyperventilating blonde who did sort of throw herself into battle using hippo-reminiscent tactics. But the real question that lingers after last episode: "Who was the biggest wuss?" Will Ronnie or The Situation pull through with a third softy victory? Will Vinny's mommy love secure him a win? Or will DJ Pauly D spin some crybaby behavior on the ones and twos?
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Most people tuning into the three basic cable channels last night were interested in seeing which hosts would address the NBC rumblings (Craig Ferguson, Jay Leno), which would not (David Letterman, Conan O'Brien), and then about a dozen kids out in Jersey did not care who mentioned what, as long as one host sang karaoke to "Living on a Prayer" in front of cheesy graphics. And for that teeny-tiny percentage of viewers, salvation arrived in the awkward form of Taboo and beer pong enthusiast, Jimmy Fallon. That segment, along with Bradley Cooper's explanation of his gig at the Discovery Channel, after the jump.
To the viciously loyal legion of fans who fought tooth and nail to keep Chuck on NBC last season, Yvonne Strahovski is the most badass blonde on television these days. The Australian actress plays Sarah Walker, the skilled secret agent assigned to protecting Chuck (Zachary Levi) after he accidentally inherited top-secret government knowledge two seasons ago. Strahovski easily has the most fun on the show, alternating disguises, weapons and languages to guard her on-again, off-again love interest. In anticipation of this Sunday's two-hour premiere, Movieline spoke to Strahovski yesterday about Sarah's relationship with Chuck, her ability to kick ass and where you might be able to find her on a Friday night.
[Beware: The mildest of spoilers lay ahead about the direction of Season 3]
This week, Lost fans have been buzzing about a petition for Disney to develop a Lost attraction at one of their theme parks (so much so that Movieline came up with five necessary suggestions for such an endeavor). Executive producer Carlton Cuse responded by tweeting that he'd like to see Disney make "a big Lost E-ticket ride," a comment I'd mostly brushed off until a trusted source revealed there's more to the story.
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