Simon Cowell's 5 Meanest American Idol Moments


Jesus wept softly and pitchily today when He learned that Simon Cowell would walk away from the Fox singing competition that made him staggeringly rich and famous, to pursue his lifelong dream of overseeing another Fox singing competition that will continue to make him staggeringly rich and famous. And what will we miss most of all? Why, his cruelty, of course! Like the Savior's message, it too comes from a place that is honest and pure. Come now as we remember five of Cowell's most stinging critiques. And remember -- it hurts him way more than it hurts the young lady he just compared to a talentless hippopotamus on national television.

1. Kenneth "Bush Baby" Briggs

In arguably Simon's lowest moment, and the rare one to earn a public apology (albeit a half-assed one), Simon likened a sweet-natured contestant to a bush baby. Ironically, it would have been less cruel to just kick an actual bush baby on national TV.

The exchange:

Cowell: You look a little odd, your dancing is terrible, the singing was horrendous, and you look like one of those creatures that live in the jungle with the massive eyes. What do they call those? Bush babies.

Kenneth: Simon, you're going to say what you're going to say, but you know what? That's you're opinion. You're entitled to it.

Cowell: But it's a pretty good opinion.

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  • SunnydaZe says:

    You know, my first impression is> Who cuts your hair? A chainsaw? Because it makes your head look like a big wooden block... Also, it is pronounced "COMPETITION" not "COMPUTITION". Plus, why would a man with your flabby build continue to wear white undershirts on national television? You look verging on haunted. Pale, you know? You know what I mean? You need some fresh air, to make yourself look young. The problem is that once again you’re not making yourself relevant. The teeth? My god, blinding! It makes them look fake. Why not just add some fangs and complete the process? I think you have overestimated your popularity in America so I know your new X-factor is doomed to fail. Americans will be happy to see you leave American Idol. I'm just saying. It's true. Someone needs to tell you--- Stop interrupting me Paula --- this. BTW, do you still live with your mother because you give off that vibe?....
    How the Simon Cowell Stole Christmas