Newswire || ||

Seismic Late Shift Gives Armchair TV Pundits Something To Yap About

You know what's funny about Hollywood? The fact that no one knows anything about anything. Take for example the matter of Conan's ratings decline, reported with no lack of Chicken Little hysterics by various trade outlets, newspapers and scandal sheets as spelling definitive doomsday for the National Broadcasting Company's ginger-peaked investment.
more »

Newswire || ||

One Stupid Pet Trick To Rule Them All

· Conan O'Brien's overnight numbers have "declined with each of its six telecasts," while longtime #2 David Letterman inched into first place Tuesday after a series of top draws, many of whom were generous enough to kick the competition during their visits. NBC responded by saying the new Tonight Show should be "judged over a span of millennia and not days." They also cheerily point to the fact the core demo is staying young and attractive, and that the only viewers being bled are the old, useless ones that no one cares about anyway. Isn't the business of TV wonderful? [Variety]
more »

Newswire || ||

Twitter Births First Studio Project (It's A Remake, But Hey, What Isn't)


· And this, ladies and germs, is how you light a fire under your Sneakers remake in 140 characters or less. Watch and learn.

more »

Newswire || ||

Anyone Wanna Buy a Pre-Owned Certified Sundance Darling?

The news out of Senator Entertainment's offices in the last few months hasn't been the best. The Informers dazzled the world with badness in April, and as of yesterday, distribution boss Mark Urman left his full-time post for a "project-by-project" role with the company. Among those projects: Antoine Fuqua's mindblowingly bleak (and fantastic) Brooklyn's Finest, a Richard Gere/Ethan Hawke/Don Cheadle cop drama which bowed to baffled audiences at this year's Sundance Film Festival before selling to Senator for mid-seven figures -- and which Senator now can't afford to release.
more »

Newswire || ||

Digital TV Transition Inspires Anger, Fear, Other Mongerings

This Friday, television as we know it will change as all analog broadcasting ceases and the airwaves go digital. Like other major traumatic events in America (natural disasters, terrorism, general elections), most of the country will not be directly affected by the outcome. But with 3 million homes still not ready for the digital transition, the analog anxiety of potentially missing an episode of Wheel of Fortune, Cheaters, or - mon Dieu! - The Bonnie Hunt Show could have disastrous consequences. At least that's what everyone hopes.
more »

Newswire || ||

Donald Trump and Miss California File for Opposite-Divorce

What a long, strange trip it's been for Miss California, Carrie Prejean: after weathering accusations of homophobia, dissent from pageant director Shanna Moakler, and a pair of free, orange bowls stapled just above her ribcage, Fox News (of course) is reporting that she will be stripped of her crown.
more »

Newswire || ||

Buzz Break: Introducing Captain Spork

· This is what would happen if Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto were to make love, conceive, have a son, and watch that son grow up to claim his birthright as the quarter-Vulcan Captain of the KFC Enterprise. Live long and prosper. [He Who Laughs]

· Speaking of future Star Trek plots, J.J. Abrams e-mailed Ain't It Cool News with an update. While the boys have "not had MEETING ONE about a sequel," he does confirm that he's been "talking to Jack Black about doing something," and there will be "shitload more lens flares."

· Here is Hugh Grant kicking paparazzi in the nuts.

· The author of the The Catcher in the Rye sequel that prompted a lawsuit from J.D. Salinger? It's Fredrick Colting, 32, of Sweden, who wrote 60 Years Later: Coming Through the Rye under the pseudonym John David California. His previous efforts: The Macho Man's (Bad) Joke Book, The Erotic A-Z, and "a volume listing the 100 best heavy metal albums." Phony.

· Private Airbus A380 being developed for Saudi Prince Al-Waleed bin Talal bin Abdul Aziz Al Saud: $488 Million. Ability to take a shvitz on your flight from L.A. to Dubai: Priceless $488 Million.

Newswire || ||

All John Travolta's Dialogue In Pelham 1 2 3 Could Easily Have Been Spoken By Cartman

I caught Tony Scott's insipid The Taking of Pelham 123 the other night, and while our full review is forthcoming, I thought it might be interesting to note how absurd John Travolta's bad guy character "Ryder"* is. He plays a tattoo-necked thug who's served hard time but [GIANT SPOILER ALERT] is actually a convicted Wall St. trader (HOLLYWOOD'S NEW ENEMY™). He's looking for a novel way to make a buck by taking a subway train hostage and using that terrorist act to leverage the markets. Luckily, a passenger's laptop webcam is on the whole time, and the signal works hundreds of feet beneath Manhattan, so MTA headquarters can monitor the entire thing as it plays itself out. Not that any of this affects the plot in the least.
more »

Newswire || ||

Shia LaBeouf Reminisces About Formative Moments Watching His Parents Do It

By now, there should be literally nothing to tumble from the lips of Last Working Actor™ Shia LaBeouf that could shock us. We've learned from his Playboy interview that he finds his mother to be an "ethereal angel" and the sexiest woman alive. We've listened compassionately as he's claimed full mea culpas for the various, finger-mangling mishaps that have dotted his record since shooting to the tippy-top of the Hollywood A-list. And yet, it seems there's always another Oedipal rock to overturn, another deep crevice in his self-proclaimed twisted psyche to explore; it's as if every interview must now one-up the last in terms of oversharing. This isn't In Treatment, Shia -- it's Parade magazine. A newspaper insert. Why are you baring your soul to the journalistic equivalent of the Trader Joe's Fearless Flyer? Ah, never mind. Take it away, Shi:
more »

Newswire || ||

To Catch A Hangover Sequel?

Dateline NBC's Chris Hansen has taken up the good fight to catch scam artists, pedophiles and internet predators, and we were fine to let him have his fun. (We didn't really like our Uncle Frank anyway.) But when we heard that he was heading to Las Vegas with his crime fighting crew (the special airs Monday), an Eiffel Tower-shaped alarm bell went off. The point of Vegas is to buy a hooker from a drug-dealing pimp in a stolen car without consequences, and if that pusher has Chris Hansen and a sound guy in the back seat, Vegas will shut down faster than you can say "Branson, Missouri." But from crisis comes opportunity (crisitunity). Given the relatively nonthreatening content of The Hangover (tiger, Tyson, weird Asian guy), this could be an opportunity for the writers to crib some darker plot points for the Hangover sequel. Warning: Possible spoilers ahead.
more »

Newswire || ||

Is James Bond Headed to Afghanistan?

The Bond franchise is alive and well, thank you very much, and for proof of that you need look no further than the efforts of the genius frozen dessert technicians who've turned star Daniel Craig's chiseled torso into a delicious, low-fat frozen treat. But where to go with the franchise after 007 braved the hairpin turns of Italian coastal motorways and desert wastelands of Bolivia in Quantum of Solace?
more »

Newswire || ||

Rolling Stone Tells You More Than You Want to Know About Adam Lambert's Hetero-Curious Experimentation

Sure, Rolling Stone hasn't made its full Adam Lambert article available online, but would you believe that it's actually out there, on a newsstand? (What are those?) We've taken a look at the whole thing and clipped out all the interesting, never-before-revealed details, which are mostly about Lambert's shocking, shocking bi-curiosity, and Zac Efron's willingness to go to Burning Man.
more »

Newswire || ||

SAG's In the Bag

· SAG has voted 78 percent in favor of its brand-new, two-year contract (2011 should be fun!). This has pleased Tony Shalhoub -- and let's face it, that was the point. Less enthused? SAG sadsack Alan Rosenberg, whose desire to hold out for a better deal was crushed. Don't worry, though: He's still going to run for a third term as president. [Variety]

News on Mad Men, Vin Diesel, and Edice Falco, after the jump...

more »

Newswire || ||

First Look at Mickey Rourke in Iron Man 2 Suggests Failed Fusion Of Kawasaki And Human

This is the first image of Mickey Rourke as Ivan Vanko, aka Whiplash, from Iron Man 2 -- a definite upgrade on the last released image from that production, featuring Robert Downey Jr. staring at some plexiglass. According to USA Today, the suit contains a pair of supersonic whips powered by a glowing chest device similar to the one that powers Tony Stark's flying suit.

more »

Newswire || ||

How The Hangover Came To Be: The Whole Goddamn Story

· Nikki Finke gets to the bottom of how the script to the summer's biggest sleeper -- The Hangover -- came to be. (Spoiler: It involves a drunk producer getting lost in Vegas and getting eaten by Mike Tyson.) [Deadline Hollywood Daily]

more »