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Carrie Prejean Mutes Self in Staggering Act of Charity

In other humorless memoir news, Larry King invited on beleaguered pageant dragon Carrie Prejean to discuss her new book Still Standing, though she didn't stick around long enough to prove her encyclopedic knowledge of the Bill of Rights. After King asked a question about why she settled with K2 Productions regarding a lawsuit about her breach of contract, Prejean called King "inappropriate" and all but walked off the show. There's no telling who Prejean kept talking to offstage before King cut to black, but I seriously doubt it's one of our forefathers. A shame. Clip after the jump.

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Jason Priestley One Step Closer in Journey to Bigscreen Conquest

· Don't look now, but Jason Priestley is gaining on Hollywood. The original Beverly Hills 90210 heartthrob has optioned the rights to the Rolling Stone article Death of a Freerider, about a 22-year-old mountain biker whose love of adventure ultimately leads him to a deadly stint as a border-hopping drug trafficker. For now Priestley is only onboard to produce, but he has directed TV in the past and apparently has only Ian Ziering to beat in the race to parlay 90210 stardom into self-made moguldom. Team Priestley, obvs. [Variety]

Harvey Keitel joins the Fockers, a Mad Men writer takes on a vampire classic, and more Hollywood Ink after the jump.

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50,000,000 Franco Fans Can't Be Wrong

· Here it is! Your first glimpses of James Franco on General Hospital. They kind of bury the lede, but he's there all right. What do you mean "you like it here in Port Charles," Franco? I don't trust you as far as I could throw you. (Which is pretty far, actually, so forget about it. We cool.) Tomorrow: An exclusive Movieline interview with Carter, the artist who put him up to all this.
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L.A. Weekly Critic Scott Foundas Off to NYC

Finally, a bit of good news concerning a critic leaving his job: L.A. Weekly film editor Scott Foundas was announced today as the new Associate Director of Programming at the Film Society of Lincoln Center, the body that each year hosts the New York Film Festival. Foundas has been on the NYFF selection committee since 2007 and has worked at L.A. Weekly since 2003; after new LAFF artistic director David Ansen, he is the second critic in a week to land a programming job with a major American film institution. And it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. Many congrats. [FSLC]

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Adorable Yuletide Lab Pack to Bail Out Disney in Time For Christmas

Only the most eagle-eyed of drugstore-checkout-line dwellers and desperate of minivan-piloting soccer moms are even remotely aware that Disney has been quietly churning out a series of profitable direct-to-DVD sequels to seminal talking-pooch-turned-NBA-pro movie, Air Bud, since it was released in 1997.
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Dollhouse Boards Up

Following dire ratings during its second season, Joss Whedon's cult Fox hit Dollhouse has been canceled. The Eliza Duskhu series is, thus far, set to complete its run as scheduled, with Whedon giving the show a proper ending. But man. The next time we want to watch a woman with advanced DNA spouting false memories, we'll have to turn on a Tyra episode about feeling self-conscious. Less ass-kicking there, and much more fat-ass-kissing. Dear God, I prefer the former. RIP. [THR]

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Hank Yanked

The writing has been on the wall for Hank's mid-season demise ever since the universally-panned Kelsey Grammer vehicle was predicted as ABC's first cancellation. ABC has no plans to air the five remaining episodes, instead scheduling repeats and holiday specials in Hank's time slot. The network announced earlier this week that they are not ordering more episodes of Hank's fellow Wednesday night series, Eastwick. [Hollywood Reporter]

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Hollywood Reporter Sold at Last?

Reports late Tuesday announced that The Hollywood Reporter has finally found a buyer after more than a year on the market. News Communications Inc. (definitely not to be confused with Rupert Murdoch's News Corp.) is said to have picked up the trade paper along with several other Nielsen titles for an undisclosed price; publisher James Finkelstein's intentions aren't clear, either, but it's largely presumed THR wil cease its print side and move exclusively to the Web, where its enjoyed most of its recent traction anyway. Best of luck to all. [The Wrap]

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Her Name is Winona, and She's an Alcoholics Anonymous Co-Founder

· Let's hear it for Winona Ryder! For the second consecutive day, her comeback blazes ahead with news of her casting in When Love Is Not Enough: The Lois Wilson Story. OK, so maybe not "blazes ahead," but maybe "strolls ahead at a nice, consistent clip": The Hallmark Hall of Fame production will feature Ryder as the title character, whose husband Bill founded Alcoholics Anonymous. (Lois herself founded Al-Anon in 1951.) Barry Pepper will play the famous Bill W., and the scorching premiere party will feature signature cocktails co-sponsored by O'Doul's and Kool-Aid. [Variety]

Meatballs gives theater owners a stomachache, Nine finds a friend in Mickey Mouse, and more Hollywood Ink after the jump.

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Looking Directly at Clash of the Titans Trailer Will Turn Your Eardrums to Stone

· And here it is: The trailer for Louis Leterrier's Clash of the Titans. First thoughts? Too many clothes, as we've whined before. REALLY LOUD PROG RAP ROCK METAL MUSIC! Less vertigo-inducing than Prince of Persia. REALLY BIG SCORPION!!! Still waiting to be sold on Sam Worthington as leading man. OMG! Walnut-faced people! THERE'S THAT SCORPION AGAIN, WATCH OUT! And it looks OK? That's about it for now. [via ONTD]
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Jake Gyllenhaal Recounts Prince of Persia's Death-Defying Ostrich Stunts

Jake Gyllenhaal has made little secret of his nerves while shooting his intimate scenes with Heath Ledger in Brokeback Mountain, and he admittedly grew apprehensive toward David Fincher's perfectionism on the set of Zodiac. But neither experience prepared him for the terror he'd later face on the set of Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time: Ostriches.
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Buzz Break: Webmaster of His Domain

· Jim Carrey has launched his official website -- apparently, with the help of Tim Burton's production staff.

· Matthew Weiner says Don and Betty are really, really done for on Mad Men: "It's so unambiguous to me that this marriage is over, but the audience seems to cling to the idea that they should be together because we want to believe in those things."

· Another week, another series low for Heroes.

· Ugly Betty, however, may get a ratings reprieve, as it's being moved to Wednesdays from its positively Siberian Friday berth.

· Fergie used to voice Sally in Peanuts cartoons (did we know this?). So, does she think ol' Sal had it bad for the proto-gay Peppermint Patty? "Yeah, I kind of got the feeling."

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Accused Letterman Extortionist's Defense: He Just Wanted to Sell a Script

You know about Occam's Razor, right? The theory dictating that the best explanation for a situation is often the simplest one? That 700-year-old saw emerged today as the one accused David Letterman extortionist Robert "Joe" Halderman is paying big bucks for as part of his defense strategy, with his attorneys explaining that Halderman really was simply trying to sell Letterman a script about the host's dalliances with his staff when he asked him for $2 million.
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New Beginners

Variety reports that Goran Visnjic is joining the Mike Mills film Beginners, opposite Ewan McGregor, Melanie Laurent, and Christopher Plummer. For some reason, they're still being cagey about the logline and characters, but Movieline has learned that Visnjic will be playing Andy, Plummer's headstrong boyfriend. It's a Gay-December romance for the ages! [Variety]

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Presto Disappearo!

Cast and crew of ABC's heavily diluted Witches of Eastwick retread, Eastwick, have just learned that the network will not order more episodes than the original 13 -- meaning we'll soon be bidding a fond adieu to the series most likely pitched as Supernatural Housewives. Sadly, with it goes Paul Gross -- aka Constable Benton Fraser from Due South -- who seems to be rapidly morphing into his generation's Alan Thicke. Also axed by the network: Let's Dance, the Kathy Griffin-hosted reality show in which celebrities re-enact famous dance sequences from the movies. Apparently casting was a major hurdle, as the big top-hat number from A Chorus Line requires more than the severely limited number of Kardashians currently available. On a cheerier note, Christian Slater procedural The Forgotten (no cracks, please) stays with us, for another five episodes at least. [The Feed]