Because it didn’t screen for critics, and because of a water-main break in the only New York theater showing the film today, it took me three tries to see John Gulager’s Piranha 3DD. That means I had to walk up to the ticket booth and say “One for Piranha 3DD, please” exactly 3DD times.
That was three times too many.
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"'I don’t even know if we can top [Piranha],' lamented sequel director John Gulager, whose horror film Feast was the subject of the Bravo moviemaking documentary series Project Greenlight in 2005. 'I don’t think that was totally our goal. We just wanted to be different. They had Academy Award-winning actors and stuff. We just wanted to have our own separate story.'" [AP via WP]
Most actors might think twice about playing dark and depressed versions of themselves on the big screen, parodying their most cringe-worthy moments of cheeseburger-craving internet fame for all to see in movies — like this week’s Piranha 3DD — more concerned with seeing big-bosomed babes being eaten by fish than with exploring the existential pains of celebrity. But then most actors don’t refer to themselves in the third-person with nicknames like “The Hoff” ™, a la David Hasselhoff, who spoke with Movieline last week about his Piranha 3DD cameo, that one time Leonardo DiCaprio went out for Baywatch, and how he’s learned to just “get on the Hoff train and ride.”
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"See the movie so you won't see piranha showing up at your house dressed as...however they want to dress. Just watch the damn thing." And with those sage words, Dimension Films let Gary Busey loose to drum up press for their upcoming summer boobs 'n' blood-fest, Piranha 3DD. Yes, if you've been hiding under a rock it is a Piranha sequel... in 3-D. Spelled with a double-D. For boobs. But I digress! Gary, take it away with advice on dynamiting piranha and fart acronyms and synonyms for steak.
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No Bully-style quibbling here: Per a just-issued press release email, the Weinstein Co. approves of the MPAA's decision on their other Very Important Movie of the year, the boobtacular June sequel Piranha 3DD. "PIRANHA 3DD accepts a well deserved Rated R for 'sequences of strong bloody horror violence and gore, graphic nudity, sexual content, language, and some drug use,'" writes a rep for the company. See, they can totally accept the MPAA's decision without turning it into a shameless opportunity for publicity!
Now that Piranha 3DD finally has an official release date, it's time to roll out a very, very NSFW new red-band trailer for your viewing consideration. It is base, oversexed, gory, cheap-looking and patently disgusting in pretty much every conceivable way, featuring such steps down as stripper lifeguards, midcoital piranha attacks, and Gary Busey chewing the head off a live fish. It's all just stupid enough to be kind of awesome.
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For many, the Weinstein brothers' inescapable awards-season carpet bombing was mere insult added to an even more grievous seasonal injury: moving Piranha 3DD from its original November 2011 release date to the notorious TBD associated with so many well-known Weinstein projects. What did you expect, though? Madonna/W.E. Golden Globe campaigns don't pay for themselves, right?
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Piranha 3DD may have been pushed to 2012, but the new teaser trailer suggests that the quality and spirit of the franchise hasn't been diluted. How could it have been, with returning fish survivor Ving Rhames dropping lines like, "Bring me my legs!" before gunning down the waters, Cherry Darling-style? Or with Baywatch's own lifeguard-slash-private eye extraordinaire, Mitch Buchannon, policing the bouncing bloodied bosoms fleeing from their piscine predators? All this and more -- "Double the terror, double the Ds" -- in today's Buzz Break!
Real talk: I was, perhaps foolishly, only mildly curious about the in-the-works sequel to Alexandre Aja's boobs 'n' blood killer fish pic Piranha 3D, which we recently learned will take place in a water park, because of course. But then came the shocking revelation that three characters will return for the sequel, Piranha 3DD -- at least two of whom I'd thought were goners for sure. See who lives to fight fish another day after the jump!
New theory: Immortals director Tarsem Singh (excuse us, visionary director Tarsem) is the honey badger of film directors. In an unprecedented move Saturday in San Francisco, the filmmaker behind such films as The Cell and The Fall stole the hearts and minds of WonderCon attendees away from Cowboys & Aliens helmer Jon Favreau -- and mind you, Favreau is so popular that he has his own entrance music ("Back in Black," natch). So how did visionary director Tarsem bring the house down during the panel for The Immortals, a 300-styled movie he described as "Caravaggio meets Fight Club?" Hit the jump for highlights from TarsemCon.
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