Surprise! Guess Who Survived Piranha 3D and Will Be Back for More Fishy Mayhem in the Sequel?

piranha3dvingrhames.jpg.jpgReal talk: I was, perhaps foolishly, only mildly curious about the in-the-works sequel to Alexandre Aja's boobs 'n' blood killer fish pic Piranha 3D, which we recently learned will take place in a water park, because of course. But then came the shocking revelation that three characters will return for the sequel, Piranha 3DD -- at least two of whom I'd thought were goners for sure. See who lives to fight fish another day after the jump!

"Christopher Lloyd (BACK TO THE FUTURE), Ving Rhames (PULP FICTION) and Paul Scheer (THE LEAGUE) have signed on to join the cast of PIRANHA 3DD after surviving last year's feast," proclaimed the Weinstein Co. today in a press release. "The boys are back but will they survive another sharp toothed invasion?"

I don't know, because I could've sworn at least two of 'em perished the first time around. Can we surmise that after having his legs eaten off in shallow waters, Rhames' heroic, motorboat engine-wielding Deputy Fallon got a pair of fish-proof prosthetics? Or that Scheer, having literally disappeared from the movie before the final set piece, swan to shore while the piranha were busy chewing up and spitting out Jerry O'Connell's penis?

Evidence of Deputy Fallon's bravery in the line of duty:

piranha3dvingrhames.jpg.jpg

Yes, I've already given more thought to the logistics of Piranha 3D canon than anyone involved. The sequel is currently filming and boasts a cast that includes Gary Busey, Danielle Panabaker, David Koechner, Clu Gulager, Katrina Bowden, and Chris Zylka, and is directed by John Gulager (Feast). Look for me in the middle row when Piranha 3DD opens (in, uh six months) on November 23.

[Press release]



Comments

  • The Winchester says:

    This movie will be the greatest movie released this year. Possibly next year as well. Don't even try to deny it. The last Piranha was the greatest film since Rambo.
    If we're lucky, the Rhames scenes will be flashbacks from the POV of a piranha.
    How can I buy my tickets to this today?!?!

  • Jen Yamato says:

    I've seen Piranha 3D a few more times at home, mostly by default because it's one of the only 3D Blurays we have and you can't watch Step Up 3D on the 3D TV EVERY time someone new comes over. Sometimes you just need a floating severed penis, y'know?

  • The Winchester says:

    "Sometimes you just need a floating severed penis, y'know? "
    It's what Avatar AND Step Up 3D both desperately needed.

  • Tommy Marx says:

    Piranha was one of the worst films I've ever seen. Seriously, a woman splitting in two as people carried her to safety? A woman that was screaming and alive before splitting in two? And what was with the piranhas leaving half-eaten corpses, then devoting twenty minutes to eating penis-less guy while our hero saves the damsel in distress? And the final scene? Deep Blue Sea much? This was the stupidest movie I've ever seen.

  • ILDC says:

    I know, isn't it great? OK, just good.

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