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Family Night!

It's Friday, the grab bag day of the TV week. Back in the days of DVD renting, one might go to a Blockbuster - that was a popular rental place - and bring home a shiny disc to watch in a machine in one's living room. Crazy, we know. But with video-on-demand and family-friendly programming like Wife Swap, just pick up the remote and save the trip. If only you could order 500 pounds of pancakes with that remote. That would be like Brave New World, only awesome!
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ON TV: Grey Gardens

Calculating as they were, even the Maysles Brothers didn't likely foresee the ways their 1976 documentary Grey Gardens would captivate the American imagination. One follow-up doc, one Tony-award winning musical, and now one superb film adaptation later, Big and Little Edie Beale remain both as accessible and as elusive as they were when the filmmakers first arrived at their shambolic East End estate almost four decades ago. That paradox is made definitively clear in Michael Sucsy's new Beale biopic, premiering Saturday on HBO. And the contrast owes almost everything to stars Jessica Lange and, in the performance of her life, Drew Barrymore.
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Survivor Introduces Fringe Sex Terms to CBS Family Hour

It's been just a little over five years since CBS dealt with the inappropriately embroidered Super Bowl nipple that cost it record numbers in fines. Last night, though, the network signaled that it was ready for the dawning of a new age: one in which deluded Survivor contestants can talk casually about ass-eating in the 8 o'clock primetime slot.
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My Lover the Car

Pleasure is difficult to come by in these trying times. So if it has to come from an inanimate object, then who are we to judge? BBC America profiles individuals whose jollies involve tailpipes and fuzzy dice. Our own networks showcase a different flavor of crazy: well-intended mothers, well-intended politicians, and straight-up angry chefs.
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On TV: Lost, 'Some Like It Hoth'

The most novel element of Lost's signature flashback format is that by letting each episode explore a different character, the series effectively allows underrated supporting actors to be a show lead at least once a year. That's reason enough to like "Some Like It Hoth," which revolved around this season's barely-used Miles (played by Ken Leung, whose sarcasm-spitting is increasingly welcome as the show ventures into more and more outlandish territory). But while the episode did right by its supporting characters, it's what the show's been doing wrong with Matthew Fox's Jack that caught most of my attention.
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Rupert Reloaded

Pictured, star of stage and screen Rupert Everett debuts a new look on The Martha Stewart show.
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Bravo's A-List Awards: Win, Lose, or Draw?

Bravo aired its second annual A-List Awards last night, and though the network managed to wrangle a slightly more legit assembling of camp weirdos and actual stars than last year, it's not quite out of the embarrass-y weeds yet. Who inspired the least cringes, and who was unable to make it through the Kathy Griffin-hosted show with relative dignity intact? Let's play Win, Lose, or Draw!
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B-Words Will Be Cut

Is there such thing as too much Kathy Griffin? Hopefully not for Bravo, who fills its Wednesday primetime line-up with the red-haired vixen. Elsewhere, girls try to be fierce and a Cougar is on the prowl.
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Zac Efron Toe-Points Toward an SNL/iTunes Rip-Off

Did you enjoy this week's Saturday Night Live sketch where Zac Efron has his toes sucked by older brother Jason Sudeikis? Well, my internet-equipped perv, you're not likely to find it online. NBC hasn't made the clip available on its SNL website, and it's stamping out the sketch on YouTube. Though the New York Daily News attempted to imply there was some skulduggery afoot (ahem), the real explanation is more simple -- though it's indicative of a major problem with SNL's online presence.
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When Quentin Met Adam

Last night marked Quentin Tarantino's return to American Idol, his first time back since serving in the capacity of visiting karaoke-appraising dignitary in the show's third season. It was a responsibility he did not take lightly, casting at times brutally honest judgment upon the quickly winnowing herd of prized musical heifers. Any one of his pullquote-ready verdicts could literally make or break a career. (On Jennifer Hudson: "Hudson takes on Houston ... and wins!" The rest was history.)
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New Basterds Clip Scalps Idol Viewers

The Weinstein Company has taken a stirring new approach to hype since successfully setting an Oscar trap for Kate Winslet: Hammer American Idol viewers over the head with Quentin Tarantino and Inglourious Basterds. The filmmaker, who'd previously guest-judged in 2004 (Diana DeGarmo will never forget him), appeared last night as a mentor for "Idol's Night at the Movies." And while I will defer to our resident Idol-ologist Seth Abramovitch for an official assessment of Tarantino's counsel, follow the jump for a glimpse at the actual "movie" part of the QT dog-and-pony show.
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3 Examples of Why ABC Needs a Better Severance Package

By firing Nicollette Sheridan from Desperate Housewives, showrunner Marc Cherry has cruelly terminated the actress's main excuse to mime exaggerated blown kisses on the red carpet and pose next to free purses in gifting suites. As one can imagine, Sheridan is peeved about the development, and in a new TV Guide story, she directs most of her ire at Cherry ("When you have a jewel, why not polish it and put it out there for all to see?"), who, in turn, blames ABC's relentless cost-cutting mandate. While we understand ABC's desire to trim some of its most overstuffed casts in this economy, Sheridan is only the latest example of what's become a major ABC epidemic this past year: more so than any other network, it really, really pisses its fired actors off.
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And Starring Diablo Cody as Herself

It's a night of new arrivals - some coming the painful, please-change-the-channel-I-just-ate way (Donna Martin) and others coming from determined freebirthing mothers. Actually, a little bit of Tori and Diablo is probably what 90210 (and America) needs right now.
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Review || ||

On TV: Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire

Comedy Central is a strange channel. For one, it insists on broadcasting stand-up comedy in spite of the fact that only opera translates worse to the small screen. Secondly, one-third of its programming seems to come from Blue Collar Comedy Tour alums (Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy, et al.) while the other two-thirds makes fun of those lovable Southerners whenever possible. Stranger still are the two new shows that debuted this spring, including Important Things with Demetri Martin, which premiered in February to high ratings and critical accolades for its low-budget showcase of subtle, esoteric humor.

The other new series, a fantasy-comedy-adventure dubbed Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire, premiered last Thursday. While many outlets avoided reviewing it, it's difficult to see critics embracing its high-budget parade of blunt, low-brow humor. But last I checked, teenage boys don't read Tom Shales.

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Working Through Your Bitter Herbs

What's On is Movieline's daily guide to notable offerings in the 500-channel HD universe. For some of you, the savior has risen. For others, your matzoh hasn't. Keep the Passover excitement going with Israeli imports and a bunch of guys "doing" one of the greatest minds of our species. Pass the Kedem.
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