Bravo's A-List Awards: Win, Lose, or Draw?

jenny.jpg

Bravo aired its second annual A-List Awards last night, and though the network managed to wrangle a slightly more legit assembling of camp weirdos and actual stars than last year, it's not quite out of the embarrass-y weeds yet. Who inspired the least cringes, and who was unable to make it through the Kathy Griffin-hosted show with relative dignity intact? Let's play Win, Lose, or Draw!

WIN

Tyson Beckford: So many reaction shots from the audience! He's like Bravo's very own Jack Nicholson, and that kind of tells you everything you need to know, doesn't it?

Harvey Weinstein: Maybe that Project Runway settlement was more amicable than we thought -- after all, Weinstein's girlfriend Georgina Chapman won "A-List Designer" for her label, Marchesa (though she sent a suspiciously smooth and shiny Rachel Zoe to pick up the award in her stead).

NeNe Leakes: Now that Bravo has enough Real Housewives iterations to give hope to every isolated, cheek-implanted fortysomething woman in America, it's time for Atlanta breakout NeNe Leakes to step up her game. And break out, she (or rather, they) did.

jenny.jpg

DRAW

Rachel Dratch: Though it was nice of Bravo to throw Dratch a bone by inviting her to present, it had to hurt that the clip package she introduced included a scene from 30 Rock featuring Jane Krakowski in the role Dratch was fired from. Oof.

The L Word: Showtime's canceled lady-humping drama won "Sexiest Scene," only to be mispronounced by presenter Paris Hilton as The L World. Still, as Griffin pointed out, there may be no tougher word to pronounce than the actual word "Word." Kudos for the attempt, Paris.

Seth Rogen's glasses: Now being worn by Justin Timberlake, apparently. Upgrade or downgrade?

jenny.jpg

LOSE

Trishelle Cannatella: Watching an awards show on Bravo assumes a level of familiarity with even the most marginal of reality stars, so it was odd that Cannatella was the only one who needed to be introduced in the opening credits with the explanation: "From Real World: Las Vegas, Trishelle Cannatella!" Sorry Trishelle, you've got a lot of body shots to do before you enter the needs-no-explanation ranks of Sanjaya, Tila Tequila, and Matt Grant (wait, who? The Bachelor? Was he the one who was a major dick to that one girl? No? Wait, who???)

Roseanne: Roseanne did know how to act at one point, didn't she? The star-turned-blogger made a taped cameo as Kathy Griffin's fairy godmother in the opening segment, and it was hard to tell what was more awkward: her line deliveries, or the uneven rapport with Griffin that resulted from her clearly being green-screened into the scene.

Jenny McCarthy's arms: Where did they go? Is this a vaccine thing?

jenny.jpg

Bravo: Without a breakout moment on the level of last year's blowsy, drunken Lauren Hutton shmacceptance speech, the network was left to fill time with misbegotten ideas like a nearly ten-minute fashion show segment starring the Real Housewives. Here's some free advice, Bravsies: next time, get Zoila high on E, blindfold Tom Colicchio, tie the Millionaire Matchmaker up with the cord from her flatiron, then tell them the first person to fish a key onstage from the inner cheek of James Lipton (using any combination of tongue, fingers, or sharp implements) wins a three-year series renewal. It'll be like Saw, but for the gay-adjacent!



Comments

  • icallthebigonebitey says:

    Kyle, I'm ashamed to say I didn't watch it. After Kathy told the joke about Mary Tyler Moore/Don Rickles/Betty White that closed her stand-up special, I turned to the boy and said, "There won't be anything funnier than that on the Z-List Awards. G'night."

  • stretch65 says:

    Knowing Bravo - you will get many a chance to see it again.
    I have to disagree with your take on the Roseanne as the Fairy godmother opening - If only for the Chase Crawford/Zac Efron "I think they play for the other team" joke
    Part of Roseanne's "charm" has been a kind of a wooden delivery...

  • Inhaler says:

    NeNe should sell her chocolate flapjack recipe to IHOP, they look just delicious.

  • nankypoo says:

    Over the line is one thing; not funny is another. One of my favorite comediennes needs to stop trying so hard -- overworking it, overusing it, overdoing it. All of a sudden the old riffs seem very, very tired. Time for an extremely talented gal to get some new material andto realize that trying so hard to be "naughty" ends up being simply juvenile

  • LLH says:

    i'm sorry, what was the point of this show?

  • stretch65 says:

    Chocolate flapjacks? I thought those were her boobs

Post a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s