Family Guy set its Emmy buzz-maker into overdrive last week, performing an abortion episode live for the Television Arts & Sciences, outing baby Stewie as a homosexual and announcing a singing Karl Rove character next season. With Emmy voters properly desensitized from the Family Guy media onslaught, MacFarlane and Co. unleashed the most violent attack in their Emmy arsenal yesterday: a playful assault video aimed squarely at The Office enthusiasts.
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This week starts where last week ended -- with Luke bin Jealous storming into the Dallas vampire HQ and detonating a suicide bomb packed with dental fillings. Vampires are always quick to tell you their hideaway is "an original Neutra. Did you know Neutra was a vampire? It's true!" Eric lies on the ground, vampire-dying (i.e. not really dying), and begs Sookie to suck the silver out of him. She does so, but Bill shows up and explains it was a sneaky trick to make her horny for him -- sucking on a vampire's blood does that!
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In the tradition of "Must See TV" and "Comedy Night Done Right" comes Oxygen's new "Big Ass Mondays". While it probably can't be thrown on a billboard above I-55 outside St. Louis, it might be generating some interest in the increasingly boring Dance Your Ass Off. While the contestants' asses might not be that big anymore, at least Oxygen is trying to spice things up.
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Now that Mad Men's much-anticipated premiere has come and gone, leaving us as conflictingly ravished as a freshly fingerbanged comedian's wife in the bittersweet, panting moments after a lantern-jawed, emotionally detached ad man has had his way with us, Movieline would like to pause to reflect upon the happenings of last night's Season Three kick-off episode before we all return in earnest to our lives of quiet desperation. (I.e., toiling in workplaces which discourage hard-won alcoholism by cruelly refusing to provide well-stocked, in-office bars.) As everyone's favorite newly corporatized advertising agency is a place where one's status is always rising and falling, we thought it appropriate to take an inventory of where each of our Sterling Cooper Repertory Players stand following the premiere's developments, and thus are born our Mad Men Power Rankings.
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Of all the reality competition shows, Big Brother gives the most back to rabid fans. Unlike Survivor or The Amazing Race, the program doesn't end when the credits roll. BB addicts with premium cable can watch Big Brother After Dark and others can stream the live feed over the internet, essentially putting themselves in the edit room. The only pitfall to this strategy is that late night or daytime viewers might catch a conversation that spoils some of the plot of the next televised episode. And when the live feed revealed that one houseguest had fled the BB coop Saturday morning, fans braced themselves for an explosive episode Sunday. As it turned out though, it's what the editors left out of last night's show has BB fans buzzing today.
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Dancing with the Stars has announced the list of contestants for its ninth (!) season including [unsavory former Republican House Majority Leader] Tom DeLay, [former Mormon teen idol] Donny Osmond, [raspy-voiced soul singer] Macy Gray, [pouty heir to the Throne of Darkness] Kelly Osbourne, [Vincent Chase fire fighter] Debi Mazar, [unimonikered all-purpose famous person] Mya, [My Fake Fiance star] Melissa Joan Hart, [former NFLer] Michael Irvin, [Rod Stewart's stepson] Ashley Hamilton, [Backstreet Brother] Aaron Carter, [squeaky voiced former swimsuit model] Kathy Ireland, [Olympic swimmer] Natalie Coughlin, [Ultimate Fighting Champion] Chuck Liddell, [5'5" pro snowboarder] Louie Vito, [martial artist and Iron Chef America Chairman] Mark Dacascos, and [we honestly have no idea] Joanna Krupa. We call the season now for Mark Dacascos. The secret ingredient is: spangles! [EW]
Last night's season premiere of Mad Men answered at least a few of Movieline's burning questions for the series' third year, and yet it provoked so many more -- not necessarily all optimistic, but none demoralizing enough to dread the long season ahead. Reflect with me after the jump (except you, spoilerphobes, sorry).
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The last season of Monk began with little fanfare last week, but look for the tributes to roll in over the course of the season. The middle-aged audience for Tony Shalhoub's OCD antics will sorely miss this quirky series and hopefully USA has another addled detective comedy project in the works. Weird cops shows rarely fly on networks (Sorry, The Unusuals), but that is all that basic cable is these days.
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For those of you simultaneously fascinated and revolted by Jon & Kate Plus 8 and Discovery Health's Deaf and Blind Triplets, program your TiVos to record Fox's Octomom: The Incredible Unseen Footage on August 19. The network is capitalizing on multiple birth-mania by broadcasting two hours of the controversial Radar Online footage captured from seven months of round-the-clock filming, child labor laws be damned. In the preview clips released today, a defeated Nadya Suleman admits that maybe the whole eight babies thing isn't as glamorous as it seemed.
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Summer is a time for romance and this season on Big Brother we have watched deep affection develop between Chicago lug Jeff and Southern belle Jordan. Through thick and thin, Head of Household and Power of Veto challenges, the two have been inseparable, displaying a type of innocent love not often seen in heavily contrived network reality shows, and especially not our slightly less contrived society.
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Last night, Seth MacFarlane and the Emmy-nominated Family Guy gang performed a live table read of their controversial abortion episode for the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences. The performance comes on the heels of Fox's decision to terminate the episode's chance of ever reaching broadcast - a difficult choice ultimately made to prevent advertiser withdrawal. Fox taped the table read and will be producing the episode "Partial Terms of Endearment" for the upcoming season's DVD. Take a look at the table read after the jump.
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This afternoon America's Next Top Model announced the fourteen contestants that survived audition stampedes and extensive pore-testing to qualify for CW's 13th cycle. Producers hope that this season's height restrictions will infuse extra fierceness into Tyra's pony parade, but will that be enough to lure audiences into watching another pack of forgettable beauties pose for the Porizkova-less judging panel? Let's take a look at the roster.
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The new season of Mad Men starts Sunday, and we welcome it as a harbinger of the fall season. The TCA press tour certainly whetted our appetite for new dramas, comedies and even Wayne Brady, so try to make it through another month or so of reruns and savor the last of the summer filler. Wash all that down tonight with a glass of ABC's Wipeout.
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The third season of Mad Men is on its way Sunday at 10 p.m., and if you're a regular viewer, then you know you have some questions left over from the spotty, cliffhanger-y second season. Pregnancy! Corporate takeovers! Gays! Of course Movieline would love to hear all of them -- I'll even go first (with spoilers, alas, for any season-two latecomers) after the jump.
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Three episodes deep into post-separation Jon & Kate Plus 8, it's clear that the TLC headliner is sinking fast. The Gosselin children still preen for the camera and embark on comped adventures ("Who wants a Kids Crooked House™ playhouse?"), but domestic troubles and media warfare have transformed Jon and Kate into an unrecognizable pair and made their children into pity-objects. Even with TLC's careful accommodation of the family's new schedule (Kate and kids go on vacation while Jon renovates the kitchen at home), each episode's sadness skyrockets while ratings plummet.
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