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Late Night Highlights: Old Tonight Show Wounds and Conan's $1.5 Million Sucker Punch to NBC

Conan O'Brien may be easing his monologue attacks on NBC for contractual reasons, but when it comes to David Letterman and Jay Leno, whose Tonight Show feud has been reinvigorated by Leno's suspicious retreat to his 11:35 time slot, the gloves are coming off. After a few nights of consistent monologue barbs by Letterman, Leno served up a light jab on Tuesday's show (during a sleazy segment with Chelsea Handler) and then went in for the kill last night with one below-the-belt monologue joke:

"Letterman has been hammering me every night. Going after me. Hey Kev, you know the best way to get Letterman to ignore you? Marry him!"

After the jump, the rest of Leno's damage, Conan's $1.5 million sucker punch to NBC and the other highlights from last night's witching hours programming, ranked from worst to best.

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TV Bites: George Clooney's Haiti Benefit Breaks Distribution Records

· Friday's two-hour Hope for Haiti Now benefit will be the most widely distributed telethon to reach viewers across the globe, according to MTV. The event, organized by George Clooney, will feature performances from Los Angeles, New York and London by Coldplay, U2, Jay-Z, Rihanna, Sting, Bruce Springsteen, Wyclef Jean, Shakira, Kid Rock, Sheryl Crow, Taylor Swift, Justin Timberlake and more still. The event will air on networks including MTV, ABC, NBC, Fox, CNN on Friday at 8 P.M. and be streamed live on websites including YouTube and Hulu. All performances will be also available on iTunes. [THR]

Fox invests in beer, ABC bets on drugs, and more TV Bites after the jump.

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Conan O'Brien Agrees To $44 Million Payout From NBC

After two weeks worth of hasty negotiations, Conan O'Brien has signed a deal with NBC to exit the Tonight Show, allowing Jay Leno to return as host of the legendary late night program. Radar Online reports that Coco signed the paperwork at 1 A.M. PST Thursday, agreeing to a $32 million payout for himself and an additional $12 million to take care of his staff.
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Hoff the Chain

Just two weeks ago, David Hasselhoff resigned from his post on America's Got Talent, cryptically citing a future project that, it turns out, is a 10-episode series for A&E. The reality vehicle will track the Baywatch phenom's adventures in the entertainment industry, including his attempt to mold his daughters into recording stars. Said Hasselhoff, "I told the girls that I would help them open the door when they are ready, but they would have to walk through it on their own. This is their time and I am excited to be a part of it." Let's celebrate! [THR]

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Charlie McDermott On Hot Tub Time Machine and Playing The Middle's Rebellious Teen

At 19-years-old, Charlie McDermott is coming into his own as the hormone-fueled teenager who terrorizes the Heck household on ABC's freshman series The Middle. As the show's first season progresses, McDermott's character Axl has been upgraded from the belching, semi-nude teen preying on his insecure sister and his blue-collar parents (played by Patricia Heaton and Neil Flynn) in the background to an adolescent carrying his own fleshed-out story lines each week. When he is not working on the series, the eastern-Pennsylvania native juggles a handful of film projects including last year's Oscar-nominated Frozen River and March's Hot Tub Time Machine.

Movieline recently caught up with The Middle actor to discuss the benefits of working on a network show, how he was discovered at a 4,000 person casting call, and which role he agreed to brave the woods for.

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American Idol: Second-Rate in the Second City

During American Idol's Chicago auditions, Ryan Seacrest reminded us of an important fact: Barack Obama. Yes, that fact. It/he had a lot to do with the howling losers who flooded the audition room, apparently. Other than giving Seacrest the chance to tout the president's '08 acceptance speech, Chicago did nothing to prove itself a breeding ground for talent like Jennifer Hudson, Kanye West, or Luc Longley. We saw a few lucky winners earn tickets to Hollywood, but the night's greatest moments were -- like any Illinois gubernatorial race -- mostly unintentional.

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Will Ferrell To Bookend Conan's Bittersweet Tonight Show Stay

If the Tonight Show host's first monologue joke last night did not tip you off -- "Hi, I'm Conan O' Brien and I'm three days away from the biggest drinking binge in history" -- it looks as though Coco will retire from NBC on Friday after seventeen years at the network. Further proof arrived late last night when NBC announced Coco's guest roster for the remainder of the week, a line-up of A-list stars including his first Tonight Show guest Will Ferrell.
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Conan O'Brien, NBC Skirmish Again Over Staff

While estimates of NBC's Conan-cutting costs hover in the vague (and vaguely appalling) $30 million-$40 million range, another report that not only is the deal not concluded, but it faces a fairly significant sticking point: O'Brien's staff. Apparently the deposed Tonight Show host is looking for handsome severance packages for almost 200 staffers -- or at least more handsome than NBC is offering. One observer says O'Brien is "dug in on that," while NBC responded that his intractability was a PR ploy and that "it was Conan's decision to leave NBC that resulted in nearly 200 of his staffers being out of work." Developing... [AP]

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Late Night Highlights: Kinky Leno and Chokey Tarantino

If you are part of the demographic that believes Jay Leno plays it too safe, then his "Earn Your Plug" segment from last night's Jay Leno Show is mandatory viewing. In a startling, stomach-churning departure from his harmless norm, the big-jawed host escorted guest Chelsea Handler off the stage and onto the set of a seedy motel room where Leno removed his jacket and asked the Chelsea Lately host to join him in bed. Click through to see the segment that was so bizarrely kinky that even Handler, the crassest of comedians, seemed uncomfortable, as well as the other noteworthy clips from last night, ranked from worst to best.

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Lost's Daniel Dae Kim Teases Season Six: 'Maybe Jin and Sun Won't Get Back Together'

Daniel Dae Kim's Jin has been able to say a lot with just a little bit of dialogue -- or often, none at all -- over six seasons of Lost. Still, as ABC's epic adventure drama nears its endpoint, both Jin (who's finally become conversant in English) and Kim himself have plenty to say.

I caught up with Kim while he was in Los Angeles recently for the TCA press tour, and we indulged in our own series of flashbacks (find out the most difficult -- and rewarding -- surprises of Jin's character arc) and flash-forwards (will Jin and his star-crossed wife Sun reunite this year?) in advance of the final season's premiere on February 2.

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TV Bites: Summit Pushes Into Television

· Summit Entertainment, the company behind the Twilight series and The Hurt Locker is developing a television series based on their recent sci-fi thriller Push. Watchmen scribe David Hayter will pen the pilot and E1 Entertainment will co-produce. No decisions on broadcasters or actors (Chris Evans and Dakota Fanning starred in the original) have been made yet. [Reuters]

Project Runway welcomes a Gigolo guest judge, Gossip Girl identifies Serena's father, and more TV Bites after the jump.

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Jeff Zucker Defends 'Gutsy' Decision To Oust Conan, Blames Viewers For ConanGate

The earthquake in Haiti might be devastating news for most of the planet, but for NBC Universal chair Jeff Zucker on Charlie Rose last night, the natural disaster was more ... a tool to deflect attention from NBC's failures. Despite Zucker's distraction attempts, Rose pressed on, drawing a few interesting responses from Zucker's otherwise boilerplate exec answers.
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NCIS Star Michael Weatherly on Playing Robert Wagner, His Appearance on The Cosby Show and His Trou-Dropping Habit

The most successful police procedurals on television boast more than a talented cast and expertly-written investigations solved within an hour -- they depend on first-rate comic relief. And the most humorous moments (as well as some of the more sincere) on the most-watched television drama are brought to you by Michael Weatherly, who plays charismatic Senior Field Agent Anthony DiNozzo on NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Service. As the foil to Mark Harmon's humorless Senior Agent, Weatherly's character regularly taps into pop culture for investigative inspiration (the movie Speed once helped him solve a case) while throwing back to the witty scoundrels played by Cary Grant. Thanks in part to Weatherly's popularity, NCIS rang in its 150th episode on CBS last week.

A few days ago, Movieline caught up with Weatherly, who was en route to the house of recent NCIS guest star Robert Wagner, to discuss his affection for the It Takes a Thief star, his first television gig with Bill Cosby, and why he tends to take his pants off when he is nervous.

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VIDEO: Anderson Cooper Saves Haitian, Looks Fierce While Doing It

The late night scape may be filled with hosts ready to declare themselves heroes but in Haiti there are a few CNN anchors actually saving lives. Among them, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, who just last week was left to manage an entire hospital when United Nations ordered all of its doctors and nurses to evacuate (somehow, he frantically tweeted the whole experience here) and just yesterday, Anderson Cooper, who pulled an injured Haitian boy out from looting chaos. Click through for the graphic video.
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Lucy Lawless Spills on Her Nudity-Filled Starz Drama, Spartacus: Blood and Sand

With its two-punch powerhouse of Mad Men and Breaking Bad (which stars Pixar friend and Emmy champion Bryan Cranston), AMC remains the gold standard in television serials. But if Sterling-Cooper's chiseled sociopaths marked new creative vistas for basic cable, the pay-network Starz plans to splatter that view with entrails and bodily fluid via the new series Spartacus: Sand and Blood. The show, which stars newcomer Andy Whitfield as the titular slave-cum-gladiator, is a fresh, "accurate" take on Ancient Rome, with all the frontal nudity and unscrupulous survival tactics of the time. Lucy Lawless, who war-cried for six seasons as the star of Xena: Warrior Princess, co-stars as the scantily-clad Lucretia. Movieline caught up with Lawless at the Television Critics Association panel in Pasadena to discuss the bold new series, which, despite not having aired yet, is already renewed for a second season.

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