The Bravermans returned for more rowdy dinners, paternity conflicts and suburban growing pains last night in the latest edition of Parenthood, vaguely titled "The Situation." Only one character was noticeably absent from the clan's yippy commune -- the Braverman patriarch (Craig T. Nelson playing every character that Craig T. Nelson has ever played), who just last week barged in on his grandson in the bathroom to discuss masturbation rituals. Regardless of Coach's mysterious absence, the Braverman clan found themselves mixed up in a few new ridiculous family situations that Movieline bravely recounts after the jump.
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Apparently, Lopez Tonight's first 300 jokes delivered at the expense of Lindsay Lohan were acceptable -- even when they increased frequency during the Vancouver Olympics ("The only other American female used to falling into as much powder as Lindsey Vonn is Lindsay Lohan. ¡Ay, caramba!") -- but the 301st joke Lopez made on Monday night incited the starlet's wrath. While waiting for Lohan to work up the courage to settle the feud on-air with a chola makeover, Lopez switched his aim last night to Ricky Martin. Those jabs, as well as the other moments you missed last while autotuning your Glee audition, after the jump.
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After four months on hiatus, V reared back up last night with both humans and Visitors hatching plans for vast armies of, you know, humans and lizards. Rallying those two legions were Erica Evans (Elizabeth Mitchell), an FBI agent moonlighting for the resistance, and V High Commander Anna (Morena Baccarin), who, as it turns out, looks a lot like Venom from Spider-Man 3 under all that faux-human skin. And unfortunately for her mate, she's a little hungry, too.
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Last night's soul/R&B challenge on American Idol was secretly the toughest round in the competition. In a game where adult judges mock teen contestants for seeming old-fashioned, "soul" music felt like a set-up for Idol disasters. Hear this: Soul is not a hot-seller on the Billboard Hot 100. Hip-hop, pop and some R&B are always represented, sure, but never soul -- not since the heyday of Lauryn Hill and D'Angelo. Therefore, the 10 remaining contestants had to choose soul standards carefully in order to seem relevant, but still, only a few earned Simon's saucy wink of approval. We rank their performances worst to first after the jump.
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Who knew that ABC hired Ben Silverman to consult with their marketing choices? In a move straight out of the NBC playbook (the one called "How to Alienate Viewers and Lose Fans"), the network turned last night's all-new episode of Lost into one long commercial for the return of V. And as if the incessant mentions and the "Anna likes Lost too!" promos weren't enough, ABC decided to place a distractingly large countdown clock in the right corner of the screen to let viewers know how much longer they had to wait for V to start. Because, y'know, fans of Lost would never lose their minds over something like that and take to Twitter to let the world know. After the jump, see some choice reactions and find out who said that the mastermind behind the countdown clock "should be kicked in the nuts, repeatedly." Fun!
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· Just a few days after accepting his first lifetime achievement award, Matt Damon has fulfilled Tina Fey's casting dream by agreeing to guest-star in one of the last 30 Rock episodes of the season. No other details about the Oscar winner's role have been announced, so let the speculation begin regarding whose wacky lover Damon will play! Another handsome but dimwitted beau for Liz, an anime-obsessed actor interested in a beard relationship with Jenna or just the latest in a line of fiery, McFlurry-craving lovers for Jack? Suggestions welcome. [EW]
Ryan Hansen makes Friends With Benefits, Fox hires a former employee to help with its tax comedy, and more TV Bites after the jump.
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Back in November, ABC premiered its re-imagining of the 1983 miniseries V after an expensive sky-writing campaign that advertised the show over 26 U.S. landmarks. The show premiered to strong ratings and favorable reviews but was yanked by the network after only four episodes for a four-month long hiatus. Network executive Steve McPherson explained that the break would make the series more of a "television event" but fans mourned the show and begged cast members to bring it back as soon as possible.
Last week, Movieline caught up with one of V's besieged stars, Joel Gretsch, who revealed that he is just as eager for his latest sci-fi venture to return before discussing his pivotal role on the United States of Tara and whether or not his father-in-law, William Shatner, has plans to guest-star on his ABC series.
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If you're a telegenic actor between the ages of 16 and 26 whose iPod looks like that of a diva-worshipping, 62-year-old gay man named Christopher (but never "Chris"), you're in luck! Glee just announced a nationwide casting call that begins today to fill three new roles in season two. What are the details?
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The pearly font says it all: "This journey is coming to an end." But the Hills cast's future in red carpet events for Old Navy ad campaigns and headband emporium openings has only bloom'd. Before they reenter off-screen surreality, we've got a final season of Spencer's tantrums, Heidi's facial paralysis, and Kristin's not-really-a-problem-you-guys drug problem to endure. I can almost hear their nonsense sentence fragments now...
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Last week, Movieline found its ringside seats for season two of Diablo Cody's United States of Tara. The premiere pitted reigning champion Tara against Buck, the only one of her personalities to survive her anti-psychotics, and despite taking a few broken beer battles to the head, Tara tossed Buck over the ropes and into the loving arms of a bartender played by Joey Lauren Adams. Last night though, Tara returned to the arena to clothesline more of her inner demons while Max, her ever-attentive husband, belted out Air Supply hits in her corner.
After the jump, Movieline declares the winner of last night's bloody smackdown in the second episode of the season, "Trouble Junction."
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Dancing with the Stars's triumphs and trips last night weren't startling or even unexpected -- but the glitter-caked proceedings focused our attention disorder nonetheless. After the jump, we rack up the night's biggest number, lowest marks, and the haughtiest standoff since Tom Bergeron refused to let Bruce Vilanch sit in Whoopi's square for even a second.
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In case you weren't sure which color states make up the majority of the Tonight Show's audience, Jay Leno welcomed Karl Rove to the program to talk about his memoir, Courage and Consequence: My Life As a Conservative in the Fight last night. Only instead of sticking to the lighter talking points that Leno has relied on during his two terms, he dug a little deeper, asking Rove about rejection, being bullied as a child and for the big finale -- his mother's suicide -- all while Parenthood star Lauren Graham looked on uncomfortably. That intimate segment, as well as the other moments that you missed while hawking your reality show from the back of your RV, after the jump.
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The hot new dance in Idolmania forums is the Season Nine Hate-Rag -- we shuffle, pout, call the talent pool a worthless bunch of nervous tickers, boo, turn it all about, and blame Ellen DeGeneres too. That seems valid in the broad strokes, but my latent conspiratorial sense wonders if Simon Cowell hasn't concocted this ennui himself. After season nine's coronation ceremony, the 50-year-old judge will leave Idol for next fall's American debut of X Factor, which he produces and has a financial stake in. Wouldn't a muddled ninth season of Idol give X Factor a better chance to shine? Have we already forgotten that the original UK version of X Factor effectively wiped out Pop Idol after Cowell jumped ship? Ahead of tonight's episode, we postulate three ways The Underwhelmed One may be cutting down Kelly Clarkson's alma mater after the jump.
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As if the current plots on Gossip Girl weren't ridiculous enough, each week the show is peppered with a bunch of pun-heavy voice overs from the unnamed Gossip Girl of the title (voiced with a paycheck quality by Kristen Bell). Think: Carrie Bradshaw, but more banal. On last night's episode, "The Empire Strikes Jack" (they love their puns on this show), 16-year-old Jenny worked at Eleanor Waldorf's fashion show and ran into some old friends, while Chuck fought with his uncle over their family hotel. How did all of the related puns rank? To the list!
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It has only been four days since TLC acquired Sarah Palin's Alaska and already another Alaskan pseudo-celebrity is screeching into Hollywood to pitch his own reality show set in the Last Frontier. The new wannabe star is Levi Johnston -- Playgirl centerfold, pistachio spokesman, and Palin's grandbaby daddy -- who is hawking his own project from the back of an RV (really, an RV). But unlike Palin's pitch, which benefited from the input of seasoned reality expert Mark Burnett, Levi's pitch lacks focus. And since I'd rather watch Levi offer politically incorrect commentary on, well, anything, than see Palin tour a gold mine, hopefully Johnston will consider a few suggestions, free of charge.
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