The Hills Final Season Trailer: Heading for Hillier Pastures
The pearly font says it all: "This journey is coming to an end." But the Hills cast's future in red carpet events for Old Navy ad campaigns and headband emporium openings has only bloom'd. Before they reenter off-screen surreality, we've got a final season of Spencer's tantrums, Heidi's facial paralysis, and Kristin's not-really-a-problem-you-guys drug problem to endure. I can almost hear their nonsense sentence fragments now...
Far as I'm concerned, Lo is the star of this trailer. Her bitchy list of Heidi's surgeries is classically petty, and even though she's essential to creating "drama" on this show, MTV still won't give her a complete first name. Hope she knows we appreciate her strife. I also adore Heidi's mother as she resides inside the hollowed-out Coldwater Creek flagship store and acknowledges her daughter's Nerf features. Stare on!
Elsewhere, this crew is ready for retirement. Audrina didn't get enough lines, and I watch this show only to hear the endless baritone inflections she can put on the phrase, "I guess." Brody was invited back too, God help us. His contributions feel the same -- like bromantic put-ons that contribute to the brotal murder of our broincells. As for Lauren? Nice try with the staccato one-liners, dear, but no dice: Our best memories, contrary to Heidi's claim, are not with you: They're with Enzo.
Which reminds me: Where. Is. Enzo.