Last night on Late Show, David Letterman addressed the whole Lindsay Lohan scheduling disaster, and offered the flaky starlet one of the most sarcastic apologies in history. Elsewhere, Andy Richter destroyed Watson the Computer, Bill Hader explained the birth of his Saturday Night Live character Stefon, and Javier Bardem gave Jimmy Kimmel an update on his Glee character.
'90s television stars: They're all about the meta! Following in the footsteps of Neil Patrick Harris (who played "Neil Patrick Harris" in the Harold and Kumar franchise) and Matt LeBlanc (who is currently playing "Matt LeBlanc" on the Showtime series Episodes), James Van Der Beek will play "himself" in the ABC pilot Don't Trust the Bitch in Apt. 23. (Expect that hilarious title to change.) The show is about a June, Midwestern girl who moves to New York to live with Chloe, a wild party girl. Van Der Beek will play Chloe's best friend, and likely make James Van Der Meme-like jokes about his Dawson's Creek past. [TVLine]
Though Mr. Sunshine stars Matthew Perry as a San Diego arena manager and Allison Janney as his unpredictable boss, it's James Lesure (as former basketball star Alonzo) who adds a sense of cool to the comic delirium. We caught up with Lesure, the former star of NBC's Las Vegas, just before last week's highly rated premiere to discuss Matthew Perry, Alonzo's stability, and his preferred Friends cast member.
Tuesday night's episode of Glee, "The Comeback," was dedicated to anyone who ever suggested that Sue Sylvester -- one of the most deliciously villainous characters on television -- is too evil. Because I am not in that demographic, I will address last night's treatment of Sue Sylvester -- from the fake suicide note to the pediatric cancer ward sing-along -- like the affront to her character that it was. Who's ready?
On Monday, Whoopi Goldberg got so mad at the New York Times' article about black Oscar winners that she bellowed about it on her bellowing hour, The View. Writers Manohla Dargis and A.O. Scott didn't mention her Oscar win for Ghost, which prompted Goldberg to call their work "shoddy' and imply that the article should have been more about the bellow-filled career of Whoopi Goldberg. Problem is, the piece never meant to list every black Oscar winner; Louis Gossett Jr. and Cuba Gooding Jr. weren't mentioned either. Goldberg realized this today and apologized in a hilariously half-hearted way.
Oh, for Christ's sake: A few hours after David Letterman's head writers tweeted in stereo that Lindsay Lohan would deliver Thursday's Late Show Top 10 list, Lohan herself tweeted a denial: "I am NOT going to be doing David Letterman, I'm not sure how this happened, but I am sorry for the confusion..." Aren't we all -- particularly, this morning, CBS.
On the Monday edition of The Daily Show, an awkward January Jones criticized her home state of South Dakota before moving on to more important things -- like the Jewish gentleman she brought back to her family. Meanwhile, Justin Bieber serenaded a senior citizen (is this kid always on late night television?), Conan gave his creepiest producer tips on romance, and a Modern Family star punched a woman in the face.
Justin and Eric Stangel, the sibling head writers on Late Show with David Letterman, simultaneously tweeted a few minutes ago that Lindsay Lohan will deliver the show's Top 10 list on Thursday's episode. The troubled starlet's appearance would follow her ignominious mention in Letterman's Grammycast Top 10 on Sunday night, in which he joked about Lohan "leaving the Staples Center with a Grammy-shaped bulge." No one yet knows what to expect, though I think we can all take comfort in seeing God's "big plan" at work. [Justin and Eric Stangel]
Here at Movieline, we discovered last month that Donald Glover is a polite gentleman with a Back to the Future jones, so we're surprised to see that his new rap single (off the EP Be Alone) is so casually vulgar. We're not surprised that it's kind of fantastic. Using the pseudonym Childish Gambino, the Community star makes eye-popping references to The Big Bang Theory, Minority Report, and his vegetable-like penis. Listen to the NSFW track after the jump.
On Monday, Downward Spiral All-Star Charlie Sheen waged war on Two and a Half Men producers for shutting down production on the CBS sitcom because of his so-called "personal problems." Calling into The Dan Patrick Show, the actor battle cried, "I'm here and I'm ready, they're not. Bring it." (He also found time for a few other delightfully monstrous quotes about crack being socially cool.) Planned or not, just hours later, Two and a Half Men creator and executive producer Chuck Lorre responded to his problematic star via network TV.
This time last year, Lost fans were busily preparing to watch "The Substitute" -- that outstanding season six episode which featured the first glimpses of the mysterious cave, the listing of the candidates, and Benjamin Linus as a prickly high school history teacher. The series never really explained much about that cave -- Jacob's? The Man in Black's? Hurley's? -- but it did seem to answer many of its most burning questions. Just not enough for this Craiglist poster.
Monday was an exciting night for the late night circuit because the Grammys' biggest stars were out to discuss their wins and losses. Lady Gaga bragged about her victories to Jay Leno before finally addressing all of those comparisons to Madonna. Meanwhile, Conan and Chelsea Handler double-teamed Justin Bieber and forced him to explain his Grammy losses... twice. Elsewhere, Dianna Agron talked about her special moment in the Grammy bathroom with Beyonce and January Jones hated on Valentine's Day.
There was really no rhyme or reason to this week's Saturday Night Live in terms of cast member airtime. Taran Killam and Bill Hader (suprise!) both had huge nights while Paul Brittain -- who, in the past, shared the second-fiddle roles with Killam -- was nowhere to be found. In other words, if a cast member was in more than one sketch, he or she was used in, it seems, almost every sketch. The result was a very top-heavy night during which it seemed almost half of the cast sat on the sidelines.
Never once in my life have I ever uttered the words, "You know what this movie needs? A little more Russell Brand." So when I heard Brand would be hosting an entire episode of Saturday Night Live (with confirmed a-hole Chris Brown as musical guest, to boot), I braced myself for the worst. My mistake: I have no idea how, but Brand just hosted the best SNL of the season.
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