Once your premium cable series has exhausted human-trafficking plotlines, auto-erotic asphyxiation jokes and jerk sock monologues, you might as well buckle up for several months of agonizing brainstorming sessions. Just ask Jenji Kohan & Co., who were faced with this challenge when dreaming up the fifth season of Weeds, which concluded last night. Miraculously, Kohan's writers successfully ransacked their unconscious (or corrupt plot generator) so that Nancy Botwin's camp could endure the strangest, most morally bankrupt season yet. In honor of this accomplishment, we offer you the nine most bizarre Weeds scenes from season five.
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There has been talk of Mary-Louise Parker leaving Weeds when her contract expires after the sixth season, so enjoy tonight's shocking fifth season finale with the knowledge that this could be the last impossibly precarious cliffhanger that Nancy Botwin survives. As Nancy's story lines have dwindled in excitement (Just how many drug deal-related scares can someone have?), the Justin Kirk/Kevin Nealon/Elizabeth Perkins B-plots have become richer and the only source of humor in the show. Spin-off?
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Fox has announced that it will air reruns of Fringe and the first episode of Glee, but with a twist: Viewers can follow the shows' stars and producers on Twitter throughout the episode and learn insider anecdotes. Extra-cool Tweeters can also send in questions! Finally, all my most penetrating Glee queries answered, misspelled and abbreviated, in 140 characters. I've got my first Tweet all planned: "Who are these 100,000 people buying a Kidz Bop version of 'Don't Stop Believin'?" [Fox]
Episode 11: Frenzy
There's an old expression from the South that goes, "Never interrupt a Vampire Queen while she's same-sex feasting on a young virgin's crotch." Luckily, Sophie-Ann the Vampire Queen of Louisiana seems to have a loosey-goosey attitude about such crusty old proprieties, and so she welcomes Bill with open fangs when he stumbles upon Her Royal Highness snacking sloppily upon a handmaiden. Less hospitable was Hoyt towards Jessica just moments after she leaped upon his entranced, Wii-addicted mom; it was a moment of ugly female territorialism that illustrated all too well how nothing -- not even the promise of his very first V-job ("Watch the teeth!") -- gets between a good ol' boy and his momma.
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In the weeks since Paula Abdul tweet-dumped American Idol, she agreed to host VH1's Divas Live and scored a recurring gig as Judge Paula Abdul (seriously) on Lifetime's Drop Dead Diva, but our dreams for an all-Paula network program went unanswered. Until last night, when the former Idol judge confirmed another kind of Abdul-spectacular: her very own Las Vegas variety show! Abdul's hazy details after the jump!
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Mitch McCabe realized when she was young that aging horrified her, and as she grew older, she resorted to expensive facial salves and chemical hair-coloring treatments to reduce the signs of natural evolution.
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Yesterday evening, NBC announced that they will rebrand their lagging network as "more colorful." Without giving their peacock a magenta feather or easing him of that five night-a-week Jay Leno Show booking though, the network's prognosis still seems grim. Even with the coincidentally timed introduction of a new, twice-president-related correspondent to the network's morning show. Sure, Jenna Bush Hager's first Today report in September might yield a few headlines, but a deal to provide only one non-politics story a month probably won't give NBC much of that desired rosy glow.
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The CW's broadcast of the 36th Daytime Emmy Awards, like the shows it honors, was highlighted by thrilling amnesia: Someone at the controls forgot to air the winning crew of The Bold and the Beautiful's night-closing speech for Outstanding Drama Series. Just as executive producer Bradley Bell approached the stage with his Gandhi-like army of personnel, the TV audience saw a quick cut to black -- a sizable slight considering Bell's show had never won the honor before, and Bell's late father William created the show (as well as The Young and the Restless). More dramatic moments and a full list of winners after the jump.
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Mad Men's third episode of Season Three, "My Old Kentucky Home" (aka "the Episode That Leaked," aka "the Peggy Gets Spoilered Episode"), has already been disseminated here and there since it appeared briefly on iTunes a couple of weeks ago. But those of us who waited for the broadcast were rewarded with the season's best episode to date -- with the added bonus of interminable Viagra, Cialis and Canada Dry ads slathered on top for good measure. Suck it, new media.
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Yesterday during a junket for Sorority Row, Audrina Patridge announced that her end to MTV semi-reality is drawing near: "I'm almost done with The Hills. We're in the middle of finishing these episodes, and I'll be leaving then." Patridge will instead focus on her acting career, something that her time on The Hills prepared her for: "I feel like it's helped me a lot going to auditions and sitting in front of the camera... blocking the camera out and just getting into character." Patridge is also developing a reality show with Mark Burnett.
[Us Magazine]
Former Playmate Irina Voronina claims that she and another actress were fired from Entourage after rebuffing the actors' advances. She told Fox News: "Technically we were told there wasn't space for us to be in the shot anymore, but we knew we were fired because we weren't nice to the actors. They just treated me like a piece of meat without any respect and every conversation would start and end with "what are you doing later?'" Voronina, now a regular on Cartoon Network's Saul of the Mole Men, had appeared in previous episodes of Entourage as Ring Girl and Sexy Clubgoer. HBO has dismissed the claim as "unfounded and unsubstantiated." [Fox News]
There's something sinister about the fact that Gossip Girl, a TV show full of beautiful "teenagers" should inspire such weird, overly serious, sometimes inappropriate photo shoots. Still, watching Chace, Ed, Leighton, and Blake teeter into plasticized pin-up territory might reveal the real reason these guys take such ridiculous pictures: They're ciphers. You want a Mattel poster? They can do that. A sexualized plea for cougar fandom? They'll straddle whatever aging model you throw at them. A blowjob analogy? Hand over the popsicles. Here are seven of our ridiculous favorites:
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Earlier this month, we heard about Jon Gosselin's latest pipe dream, a reality show called The Divorced Dads Club that would costar Michael Lohan, Jose Canseco and Mark Gastineau. Despite this recipe for instant success on any Comcast-owned network, TLC squelched Jon's vision, citing something stupid about a two-year contract. Maybe we could convince TLC brass that Gosselin's star on Divorced Dads (original title: Hair Plugs and Bearskin Rugs) could really lift the spirits of single dads everywhere if we provide the first episode's plotline, after the jump.
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With changes in the works for the look of Ugly Betty's eponymous heroine, savor the braces and bigness while you can. The moment seems to have passed for UB, what with 30 Rock becoming the strangest and best feel-good show on television and all, so it really needs to recapture that mojo. A Pretty Betty won't do the trick, and neither will guest-stars, though Christine Baranski tries her darnedest in tonight's rerun.
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It started with a cameo in Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle and spiraled into stints with the Tonys and Emmys; Neil Patrick Harris's rapidly expanding brand has helped him succeed Whoopi Goldberg as America's Guest Host. And unlike his award show gigs, Harris's upcoming guest judge spot on American Idol might actually get him watched by more than members of entertainment guilds. Find out how Harris scored the last-minute American Idol opportunity via text message, what he drank out of his Coca-Cola cup and how some auditioning singers just need to be told "that they're terrible."
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