The 9 Strangest Scenes From Weeds' Fifth Season

Once your premium cable series has exhausted human-trafficking plotlines, auto-erotic asphyxiation jokes and jerk sock monologues, you might as well buckle up for several months of agonizing brainstorming sessions. Just ask Jenji Kohan & Co., who were faced with this challenge when dreaming up the fifth season of Weeds, which concluded last night. Miraculously, Kohan's writers successfully ransacked their unconscious (or corrupt plot generator) so that Nancy Botwin's camp could endure the strangest, most morally bankrupt season yet. In honor of this accomplishment, we offer you the nine most bizarre Weeds scenes from season five.

1. Flash Mob!

Nancy ponders her fate at an outdoor mall (Hollywood & Highland) when a fully choreographed flash mob erupts around her, to the pop beat of Michael Franti's "Say Hey." After asking a nearby kid what is happening, Nancy smiles and momentarily forgets four seasons worth of drug-related troubles.

2. Jennifer Jason Leigh Appears As Nancy's Uptight Sister, Who Sleeps With Andy

Shane and Andy hide out with Nancy's estranged sister, Jill (Jennifer Jason Leigh) when life gets too dangerous in Ren Mar. Unhappy with her marriage, Jill and Andy bond over being under-appreciated, get drunk on wine and engage in angry sex.

3. Andy Impersonates His Dead Brother to Access a Bank Account

When Andy discovers evidence of a hidden account in his brother's name, he races to the nearest bank to discover that its funds have grown to $186,000. The teller, a family friend who nursed an unrequited high school crush on Andy's deceased brother, Judah, agrees to fork over the funds if Andy dates her dressed as Judah circa 1980. The two end up having clumsy sex next to a homeless community under the pier.

4. Andy Grows a Zalifianakis Beard and Burns Nearly $200G on Arcade Games and the General Lee from Dukes of Hazzard

Following Nancy's return to Esteban, Andy blows his stash of hard-earned money on expensive toys and spends six hygiene-free months working towards a Ms. Pac-Man high score. He explains his love for the arcade heroine to Silas: "It feels right, you know. She gets me. We're in sync. No words - just a gentle touch of my hand. I move left, she moves left. I move right, she moves right."

5. Doug Assaults a Corrupt Cop While Dressed as George Hamilton

After reading a copy of George Hamilton's autobiography in the bathroom, Doug is determined to emulate Hamilton's life because "he slept with his stepmother - the man is a fucking genius." With the dark fake tan, navy blazer and ascot in place, Doug spends the rest of the episode following Hamilton's boyhood rule: "Do the dumbest thing possible."

6. Celia Shares a Lesbian Kiss with Her Pyramid Scheme Supervisor

Celia's "You're Pretty" cosmetics ringleader invites her on a date after watching her verbally abuse a waitress at lunch. The two enjoy a shopping date which ends with a hallway kiss.

7. Andy Suckles Nancy in the Bathroom of a Mexican Restaurant

After taking Shane to the clinic for his yeast infection, Nancy enjoys her first post-baby margaritas. During a pump-break, Nancy's hand-held device breaks and she drunkenly calls Andy into the bathroom to relieve her.

8. Alanis Morissette Guest Stars As Nancy's OB-GYN, Who Dates Andy

Andy invites Nancy's doctor (Morissette) out on a date where he sips frozen margaritas, discusses his difficulty with Ms. Pac-Man's upside-down kill screen and declares that as a child, he aspired to be a dog. Audra walks out of the date in favor of pajamas and her Friday Night Lights box set.

9. Yeast Infection and Bullet Wound Turn Shane Into Pain-Seeking, Alcoholic Murderer

With a sexually transmitted infection and gunshot wound under his belt, Nancy's youngest quietly transforms into a beer-pounding pain fiend who happens to save his mother during the season finale by nonchalantly taking a croquet mallet to the head of Nancy's archenemy.


  • VoV says:

    Is it just me ... or were Seasons 1, 2, and 3 of Weeds hilarious while Seasons 4 and 5 were just depressing and scary?

  • snickers says:

    What, no milk moustache?

  • stolidog says:

    I think "Dick in a drawer" warrents a call out.

  • anon says:

    other than the dick in drawer i think you pretty much nailed it. season 5 was far and away the worst season of my former favorite show (the last couple eps of season 4 were the bees knees) although the finale was a return to form.

  • Angel England says:

    I like your website, the way I enjoy air. Ok just kidding but really good ideas though .

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