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Real Housewives of New York Reality Check: Jill Zarin vs. the World

Last week on the Housewives of New York City, Bethenny taught a little class called "Selling the Sh*t Out Of An Apology For Socialites." This week, the SkinnyGirl was chained to a Pepperidge Farm street cart, where she shamelessly plugged the 100 calorie bread, and her toilet, where she shamelessly plugged her surprise pregnancy. Meanwhile, Alex pulled off her Brooklyn fashion show, Kelly worked the runway in an unflattering Big Bird dress, LuAnn toured Central Park in a rickshaw fueled by condescension, and a new housewife named Sonja introduced herself as Martin Scorsese's neighbor. But the most awe-inspiring moments from last night's installment came courtesy of Jill Zarin, who demonstrated that she can go from loving wife to petty bitch in the blink of the eye -- or in a swooshy Bravo edit. So pour yourself a Ramona-sized glass of pinot grigio and click through for the truest and fakest moments of last night's episode, "New Girl, Old Money."

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Sandra Bullock Joins Team LOCO

According to Movieline's sister site Deadline Hollywood, the recent Oscar-winner will appear on Lopez Tonight during its first week following Conan's new show in November. Bullock appeared on her buddy's show earlier this year to undergo a Chola makeover. Depending on the next seven months, the interview could be the actress's first television appearance since her unofficial separation from philandering husband Jesse James. [Deadline]

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Late Night Highlights: James Marsden's 'C*ck Sock' Tutorial and Chris Rock's Run-In with Richard Pryor

The late night circuit has been flooded with two things this week: Death at a Funeral actors and Kate Gosselin jokes. Both elements came to head during last night's programming when Chris Rock, Tracy Morgan and James Marsden and Gosselin herself took over the airwaves to share some humorous set stories with the world. Click through to see whose segments fell flat, whose segments ran blue, and the other highlights you missed while planning to file a lawsuit against South Park for that episode in which you planned to file a lawsuit against South Park.

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The Mad Science of Fringe: Time-Traveling Secrets Exposed!

In last night's Fringe, Walter's angst over pulling Peter out of the parallel universe compounded when he met a MIT time-travel researcher (Peter Weller of RoboCop), who, in an effort to change his dead fiance's past, sucked the biological energy out of a train car of people. Despite Walter's appeals ("It's not our place to adjust the universe"), the time traveler reunites with his fiance and apparently dies, eliminating any future contact with Walter and Co. and basically rendering the entire episode useless. But did the throw-away plot lend itself to equivalently disposable science? Read on for a look at the relative plausibility of Walter's ramblings in White Tulip.
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TV Bites: Is Paula Abdul Planning a Return to American Idol?

· As American Idol ratings tumble this season, a nasty rumor is swirling around Hollywood that Paula Abdul may reclaim her position at the judges' table once Simon Cowell leaves. Says a source close to the Fox show: "They're not sure if she'd be the fifth judge, but they are talking to her. People tuned in to see Paula's wacky antics and her chemistry with Simon. The show is just not as much fun to watch without her." Meanwhile, Cowell has reportedly been wooing Abdul in hopes that she will join his U.S. version of The X-Factor in 2011. [NYP]

Spike TV bets on slacker cops, a Lost E.P. swims to CBS, and more TV Bites after the jump.

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Madonna Has a Crush on Schu

The Material Girl is speaking out about Glee in anticipation of next week's "Power of Madonna" episode, though she's not really commenting on the show itself (or even Jane Lynch's frame-by-frame copy of her iconic "Vogue" video) as much as she's publicizing her affection for the show's sole white-man rapper: "I think Mr. Schuester is very cute. I'm glad he's doing such a good job empowering all the girls." Translation: "Matthew Morrison, if you play your cards right, you can be my next Vanilla Ice." [Billboard]

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The Suddenly Problematic Patton Oswalt Leaves Another Project

Are things all right with Patton Oswalt? The comic actor drew raves for his dark turn in last year's indie Big Fan, then looked poised to burnish his dramatic bona fides with a Broadway debut in Lips Together, Teeth Apart opposite Megan Mullally and Lili Taylor. Mullally eventually quit the show out of dissatisfaction with Oswalt's performance, but he wasted no time booking his next gig; now that, too, is in jeopardy.
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Mark Indelicato on Life After Ugly Betty, His Fashion Aspirations and 'Pulling a Sex and the City'

While Betty Suarez and Co. hung up their orange ponchos during last night's series finale, a few members of the Ugly Betty cast celebrated their four-year run at Oatarian's Grand Opening Cocktail Event in New York City. Among them was 15 year-old Mark Indelicato, who has spent his middle school years embodying Betty's wise, fashion conscious nephew Justin. Now that he's free to explore a life outside of Queens, Indelicato excitedly outlined his upcoming work schedule to Movieline's sister site Hollywood Life, revealed just how he's currently following in Betty's footsteps, and discussed his dream role. Oh, and if there's a potential Ugly Betty film, count him in.
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Departing Idol Bandleader Rickey Minor Shares Your Concerns About Season 9

Bandleader Rickey Minor generally acted with statesmanlike conduct when discussing his departure from American Idol and new gig with The Tonight Show. But in his excitement to fill Kevin Eubanks' chair, the venerable Idol maestro divulged candid tidbits about the performance level of this year's contestant crop. Validate our disappointment, jazzman!

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Confession: I Can't Tell the Actors Apart on HBO's The Pacific

Do the three pictures above look sort of similar? Perhaps you're thinking that they're all snapshots of one actor, or maybe a set of brothers? Now, imagine these guys with identical one-week blond beard growth and helmets slung over half their face and try to tell them apart. This is my problem with whoever cast HBO's The Pacific.

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A Lawsuit For Heidi

The Hills are alive with sexual harassment charges today, and the accuser, Heidi Montag, is planning a lawsuit against Hills creator Adam DiVello, who allegedly put "one hand directly on her butt cheek" during a photo shoot in March. The harassment allegedly continued on set with the executive producer asking Heidi to "strip down to a bikini for scenes," and according to one insider, DiVello "wasn't on set much for six seasons until Heidi got her new boobs." An MTV spokesperson has denied the charges, while Lauren Conrad and Lo Bosworth have also come to DiVello's defense. [Daily News]

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Late Night Highlights: The Truth About Hover Boards and the Tale of Tracy Morgan and MJ's 'Thriller' Glove

Poor Luke Wilson. He films one movie with Tracy Morgan and now he is harassed by every single interviewer for crazy stories about working with the 30 Rock actor. Last night, George Lopez continued the tradition by coaxing anecdotes out of him about Tracy leaving voice messages as Darth Vader to his son and Tracy's Michael Jackson memorabilia. Click through for the latest chapter of Tracy Morgan Set Stories, as well as the other highlights you missed last night while finishing your taxes.

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South Park Casualty Count: 'Fudge Packing with the Stars'

Last week on South Park, Cartman and the crew explored the social networking phenomenon while a loner with a bad hairline named Kip Drordy accumulated friends from the comfort of his bedroom. This week, the boys returned for a very special 200th episode that brought back every celebrity the show had skewered in its 14 seasons. After the jump, Movieline tallies the stars buried in South Park last night and explains what Tom Cruise was doing in the chocolate factory.

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In Memoriam: American Idol's Newest Losers Andrew Garcia and Katie Stevens

Idol's double-homicide last night had the air of an overdue spring cleaning. It was as if the voting public said, "What's this bland 17-year-old girl doing stocked with the linens? I'll give her to Amvets." Nonetheless, we did lose two "talented" (read: in tune) vocalists somewhere in Adam Lambert's green smoke last night. They deserve a proper eulogy like any other victims of the Urbanator.

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TV Bites: Carla Gugino Gets a Dose of Californication

· When Hank Moody returns for his fourth season of Californication, he will have two new female characters to charm. Carla Gugino has been cast as the first, a likeable corporate lawyer who could help David Duchovny's character navigate the legal system. Addison Timlin (Cashmere Mafia) will play the second, an actress who crosses Moody's path when she stars in a film within the Showtime series. Both actresses will have season-long arcs. [DHD]

Hitched makes a casting switch, Seth Meyers books a sports gig, and more TV Bites after the jump.

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