South Park Casualty Count: 'Fudge Packing with the Stars'
Last week on South Park, Cartman and the crew explored the social networking phenomenon while a loner with a bad hairline named Kip Drordy accumulated friends from the comfort of his bedroom. This week, the boys returned for a very special 200th episode that brought back every celebrity the show had skewered in its 14 seasons. After the jump, Movieline tallies the stars buried in South Park last night and explains what Tom Cruise was doing in the chocolate factory.
The installment opens with Cartman's class visiting a chocolate factory, where the kids are surprised to see Tom Cruise at a conveyor belt packing boxes of fudge. Stan confronts the movie star, who becomes offended by the line of questioning and responds, "I'm not a fudge packer. I'm a very busy actor. I am just here for the weekend trying to do some fly-fishing. [...] That's it, I'm suing this entire intolerant town." And the episode's plot is born.
Tom Cruise calls a celebrity summit at his Colorado mansion to organize a class action lawsuit. At one point, Jared from Subway needs to use the bathroom but cannot locate it because every door in Cruise's mansion leads to a closet.
Realizing that the town cannot shoulder such an expensive lawsuit, Mr. Marsh drags Stan to the chocolate factory to apologize however the only way that Tom Cruise says he will withdraw the lawsuit is if the town can arrange for him to meet with Muhammad, the prophet of the Muslim faith. As Cruise explains later, Muhammad "has a power that makes him impervious to being made fun of." Cruise figures that if they can just speak with Muhammad, celebrities could harness that power.
Meanwhile, Cartman hears about the celebrity lawsuit and uses his Jennifer Lopez hand puppet to get into Tom Cruise's mansion. Confusion ensues when Cartman's other hand puppet, Mitch Connors, joins the party and starts getting aggressive. With so many celebrities fitting into the fold, the plot becomes hazy as the boys sneak Muhammad into South Park in a bear costume only for an army of gingers stop them. The gingers demand that Muhammad removes his bear costume or else they will detonate the entire town. Cue Mecha-Streisand to rise up into the chaos.
At long last, the approximately 385 celebrities included in last night's anniversary party:
· Tom Cruise, Billy Bob Thornton, Kanye West, Rob Reiner, Martha Stewart, David Letterman, Bono, Paris Hilton, Mickey Mouse, Steven Spielberg, John Travolta, Subway Jared, Geena Davis, Rosie O'Donnell, Kevin Spacey, Oprah Winfrey, Jimmy Buffett, Johnny Depp, Tim Burton, Michael Bay, David Blaine, Morgan Freeman, Mel Gibson, Kurt Russell, Robert Redford, Sally Struthers, Jimmy Kimmel, Kathy Lee Gifford, Russell Crowe, Britney Spears, Osama Bin Laden, Michael Jackson, Charlie Sheen, Phil Collins, Sarah Jessica Parker, Al Gore, Tina Yothers, Ben Affleck, Rob Schneider, Karl Rove, Steve Irwin, President Obama, Jennifer Lopez, Barbra Streisand, Francis Ford Coppola, Sylvester Stallone, Jesse Jackson
Obligatory Anti-Semitic Slur: "I'm not fat, you sneaky Jew."
Kenny's Cause of Death: N/A. Again, Kenny was spared.
· (Tom Cruise to Tim Burton) "Imagine Tim if nobody could rip on you for all the rehashed movies you've made lately. There would never be a TV show that pointed out that you haven't had an original thought since Beetle Juice and you put Johnny Depp and the same crappy music in every film. And if you're that in love with Johnny Depp you should just have sex with him already. A TV show could never say that!"
· (Tom Cruise to Jimmy Buffet) "Wouldn't you like it if nobody could call your music drunken frat-boy monkey garbage?"
Movieline Rating: 6/10