· Jeannie!!! How many TIMES does Ben Affleck have to TELL you?! Keep your stinky little fingers off his growth-hormone stash! RARRRRRGH BEN EAT LITTLE BLACK KITTIE RARRRRGH! [HuffPo]
We all know that Rosie O'Donnell is Team Coco, but what happens if she has to compete against him? Into the Oprah-sized hole of syndicated talk come two potential contenders: Conan O'Brien, who is said to be mulling a talker outside of late-night, and Rosie O'Donnell, who Gossip Cop claims has signed a syndication deal for the 2011-2012 season. It's said that her new series will be more political in nature than her Koosh-flinging talk show of yore. Hasselbeck for sweeps guest! [Gossip Cop]
Silly-nilly music video directors! Always too caught up in envisioning three-minute pop dioramas. Video grandmaster Michel Gondry may be the silliest in the field; He claims disinterest with Lady Gaga and misplaces his single Video Music Award for Massive Attack's 1995 clip "Protection." Can you believe we found it? It was sitting next to a dainty old cherry tree that Bjork was wearing. Now: Which of this week's commenters wins the hardware?
When you direct a critically acclaimed sleeper hit that earns four-times its budget -- and in doing so manage to coax the supernatural Bill Murray cameo that Ghostbusters 3 would give its right Zuul nut for -- you're pretty much granted the keys to the kingdom. And that's precisely what's happening for Zombieland director Ruben Fleischer, who the LA Times reports has been courted for several high-profile projects -- everything from Will Ferrell comedy Daddy's Home, a chick-version of The Hangover called The Bachelorette (ooh! Rozlyn Papa crossover potential!), and -- gird your loins -- Mission: Impossible IV. But it's a smaller film that has Fleischer most excited:
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Alert your great aunt after she gets back from buying Winstons: Days of Our Lives has been picked up for a 45th season! That's a whole lot of baby switches and soft-focus fights about faking Peter's death. As the show continues to evolve for soap lovers all over the nation, Movieline has one request: Help this discarded homosexual out with a nudity-related sideplot. [EW]
IESB is reporting that the Captain America shortlist is down to three, though it's important to note that none of these names were on the original shortlist. Lots of commitment-phobes over at Marvel! Anyway, the finalists are Chris Evans, Channing Tatum, and rumored frontrunner Sebastian Stan, best-known for the short-lived NBC series Kings and an arc on Gossip Girl (sorry, Chace!). Still, the website cautions that Stan's early childhood years in Romania could disqualify him for this very American role. Awesome: We're going to have Captain America birthers. UPDATE: Maybe it was offered to Chris Evans? So says THR! [IESB]
· The poster for Sylvester Stallone's The Expendables features something that looks like it should either be a mid-level enemy from Castlevania III or the genesis of an Ed Hardy fashion story. Click for bigger.
· Lionsgate has acquired the rights to the thriller Dibbuk Box. So it's like the first scene of A Serious Man, but feature-length?
· To no one's great surprise, a Final Destination 5 is coming.
· The classic novel A Wrinkle in Time is having a moment right now: Not only was it featured in this week's Lost, but Jeff Stockwell's been hired to adapt it into a feature.
· "I did not like The Hurt Locker," confesses Michael Moore. "It's a lazy way to make a movie, frankly. I could put you on the edge of your seat quite easily, and have you feel the tension for 2 hours." That's how I felt during Canadian Bacon!
Every Friday around this time, Movieline's young receptionist will call into the newsroom, her mousy voice tremulous with awe, announcing the arrival of the Say Whaaaa? Singers. And it's hard to blame her, as few other cultural observers have quite their knack for processing the absurdities and craziness of the prior week's most baffling news. So welcome them as usual, and let's see if we can't sort out some answers in a messiness so profound that you'll find Armond White, Corey Feldman and Sofia Coppola coexisting in the same baffling space. Take it away, fellas.
Warner Bros. has become the first studio to spell out what's become increasingly obvious in Hollywood: From here out, every WB tentpole, superhero film, and effect-heavy release will be shot in 3D. (The studio is so high on the format that Clash of the Titans was converted to 3D in post-production, though buzz on the transfer is not good.) Obviously, the next studio to follow suit will be Sony Pictures Classics. [Slashfilm]
Yes, you read that figure correctly. Sarah Palin is asking $1 million to $1.5 million per episode of the reality show she is shopping with uber-producer Rob Burnett. And a few networks are considering the offer, even though they could get five Heidi Montag, Audrina Patridge and Lo Bosworth trios for the same price. (Psychic manager not included). After the jump, see which television networks are considering Sarah Palin's price tag on the real Last Frontier.
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No good deed goes unpunished -- especially in India, where Lindsay Lohan will reportedly learn the hard way that you just can't go around branding yourself as the Oskar Schindler of New Delhi. The controversy stems from a visit the actress made to the country last December, where she participated in a documentary about the exploitation of Indian women and children. Which wouldn't have been so bad -- except for the tweets that followed.
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If you've got 30 minutes and the ability to get through the rest of your work day essentially wrecked by heart-rending meet-cute robot romance, then consider hightailing it over to the Web site now hosting Spike Jonze's short film I'm Here. And I do mean "hightail," because from the looks of it, the movie is a limited-edition-viewing situation closely monitored by Jonze's patrons at Absolut Vodka.
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Scram, Channing Tatum. You too, Ryan Phillippe. What Captain America needs is more Hamm -- Jon Hamm in particular, according to the Marvel superhero's artist Alex Ross. "We've been saying for years, if you don't sign Jon Hamm to play this part, you're crazy," Ross told Entertainment Weekly. "Captain America is supposed to be the patriarch of the Marvel universe. To get a guy in his early to mid-20s is only thinking about where the character began, not what he ultimately needs to become." He's got a point: Where is the breathlessly hyped 2019 origin-story reboot without starting somewhere in the middle? Think, Marvel, think. [EW via IMDB]
· A few minor slip-ups aside (and Jennifer's Body wasn't her fault), Amanda Seyfried has spent the last two years managing her roles with precision, taste and success. Will she meet her match in McG, who's reportedly been attached to direct her in the adaptation of the Rolling Stone article The Girl Who Conned the Ivy League? Time will tell: The film will profile Esther Reed, a 28-year-old high-school dropout whose identity-theft hijinks at Harvard and Columbia landed her on America's Most Wanted and triggered an 18-month nationwide womanhunt. Lorene Scafaria will write the screenplay. Tread carefully, Amanda. [@prodweek]
Jamie Foxx cashes another check, a pair of '80s remakes settle into the development pipeline, and more Hollywood Ink after the jump.
Welcome back to Movieline Attractions, your regular guide to everything new, noteworthy and/or overpoweringly pungent at the movies. This week, exes duke it out at the multiplex, a star is born at the art house and Dakota Fanning hits bottom. And Alice in Wonderland will wipe everyone out anyway. Let's have a look.
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