After rampant speculation about whether his salary demands may spell the end of Two and a Half Men, Charlie Sheen has released a statement saying that "all of the numbers reported in the press are false." The headline-plagued star added, "If tonight's show is the end for me as Charlie Harper, so be it...I take from the experience 161 shows filled with a kaleidoscope of amazing experiences, memories, friendships and gratitude." Meanwhile, unconfirmed sources are telling us that Angus T. Jones' publicist is drafting a statement to the effect of "For the love of God, I need this show. I am unemployable." [PopEater]
So a few of us went for a smoke break and look who we brought with us: the Say Whaaaa? Singers themselves, primed to cringe and recoil in disbelief over the week's most baffling, bizarre, head-scratching and otherwise outrageous news that actually happened. Let's get to it, friends:
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· A mess of new True Blood pictures have been released, including this one of Denis O'Hare as the vampire king of Mississipppi. Oh, how we've missed this cheesefest. Click for bigger.
· Diane Lane will star as the matriarch in HBO's Cinema Verite, which explores the Loud family chronicled in PBS's iconic An American Family.
· Twilight's Ashley Greene has been added to the mix of Butter.
· Vera Farmiga is going to make her directorial debut on the film Higher Ground.
· Gwyneth, no! "If you saw me naked [now] compared to what I looked like when I did Iron Man 2, when I was exercising every day - I'll get it back together," said the desperately-in-need-of-an-intervention actress.
Still reeling over the possible combinations to Lost's "unlikely romance" coming next month? Michael Ausiello has revealed one-half of the equation: it's Michael Emerson's Ben. Will it be a flash-sideways fling with Ana-Lucia, or an on-island ménage à trois with a bedraggled Rose and Bernard? The possibilities are endless (and slightly unnerving!). [EW]
Who's ready for the new Sex and the City 2 trailer, which plunks Carrie Bradshaw and company right where you knew their destinies would always take them: Abu... Dhabi? What? Forget it. Sometimes you just know when something stinks, and I would sooner tattoo my eyelids than watch this effing thing. In fact, I can think of a million other things I would do before I watched a frame of this garish, overextended, ovary-tickling twaddle. For starters:
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More gruesome details have surfaced about the death of Monica Beresford-Redman, who was vacationing with her husband Bruce, a former Survivor producer, when she was found dead on Thursday. ABC News is reporting that Monica appears to have been beaten and strangled. Monica's sister Carla Burgos told the New York Daily News that the couple was having marital issues and that Bruce (who had scratches over his body when he was taken in for questioning) allegedly had an affair that Monica had just found out about. The former Suvivor producer was detained yesterday as a suspect in his wife's death. [ABC News]
Happy April 9, dear reader! Time to join Movieline on another breezy expedition through the historical arcana and milestones that helped shaped the pop culture you know and love today. And there's a lot of it, comprising birthdays (make a wish, Jeff Zucker!), awards commemorations and the popping of Bob Hope's television cherry. Read on and allow me to explain.
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For the third and perhaps final time, the Jim Carrey-Ewan McGregor caper-comedy/romance I Love You Phillip Morris has been bumped from theatrical release. Upstart distributor Consolidated Pictures Group, which spent the winter pushing the film from Feb. 14 to March 26 to April 30, now has scrapped the latter date with no replacement announced. As if you'd believe them anyway. Expect either a buyer who passed on the film at Sundance '09 to cheaply take it off CPG's hands or to see it on DVD. Will advise... [LAT]
· I can't believe someone didn't think of this before, but doesn't it make all the sense in the world that Ridley and Tony Scott would run MGM once it sorts out its sale and debt issues? Could there be a bigger no-brainer than to bestow a deeply encumbered brand to two siblings with a combined age of 137, a tendency to make films with nine-figure budgets and whose forthcoming projects are all tied up at other studios? It's brilliant! Like that time Tom Cruise took over United Artists, or when we invaded Iraq. Make this happen, interim MGM CEO Steven Cooper! As for the rest us, stand back. Way back. And bring your safety goggles. [FT via Deadline]
The absurdity doesn't stop here, folks, as a Big Momma's House 3 update and Miramax news all await you after the jump.
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Welcome back to Movieline Attractions, your regular guide to everything new, noteworthy and/or date-ready at the movies. This week brings all three -- right down to the name -- while a fake 3D holdover attempts to hold on to its No. 1. spot. But the real variety is at the art house. Let's have a quick look.
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· The groundbreaking David Lynch series Twin Peaks debuted 20 years ago today, at once posing a thrilling small-town mystery and inventing a new form of mysterious, multi-arc storytelling for TV. And he also gave us an opening credit sequence featuring what sounds like a more cerebral, epic version of Berlin's "Take My Breath Away":
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What the Shrek is happening to our motherShreking kids movies, y'all? The new posters for the ogre-riffic blockbuster sequel make oddly tart references to vulgarities, punning like Dorothy Parker on famous four-letter words. Is this a clever marketer's way of seeming "edgy," or simply an explanation that Princess Fiona has made friends in the courtyard with Nurse Jackie?
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Not so fast, Tom Arnold! The actor bragged in our comments section that he'd be heading to Australia in August for Peter Berg's Battleship, but the film isn't actually shooting there. "Universal Pictures has decided not to shoot its U$150m movie adaptation of the Hasbro board game Battleship in Queensland, taking production to the US state of Louisiana instead," reported Encore. "It is the second high budget project that Australia loses to Louisiana, following last year's Warner production Green Lantern, which was set to shoot in Sydney." Maybe it was all an elaborate hazing devised by the film's lead, Taylor Kitsch? For Tom's sake, we hope that ticket's refundable. [Encore]
As Movieline first reported, Jersey Shore is filming part of its second season in South Beach, where the GTL and BPB never stop. Now it's been revealed that the latter half of the season will reunite the entire cast (including Angelina) with Seaside Heights. That means more boardwalk melees, beach-dwelling gorillas, and primitive antibiotics like ham and water. Word to the wise: If you get stuck in a conversation about Jersey Shore, you can always halt it by noting, "Vinny has a good head on his shoulders." Guaranteed. [MTV]
Sometimes, Movieline likes to interview handsome men with accents (it's a present to you, the reader, and also our moms). Other times, Hollywood likes to pair up those men for upcoming projects, and so it is that former Movieline coverboy Clive Owen and Verge alum Daniel Brühl have been added to the cast of Juan Carlos Fresnadillo's thriller Intruders. I guess this means that neither will be playing Captain America's love interest. [Deadline]
