· I never thought I'd see the day when Stephen Dorff and Tarsem Singh would collaborate on a ripoff of a remake of a 1981 pseudo-classic, but here we are. The actor has joined War of the Gods as the thief Stavros, who joins the hero Theseus (Henry Cavill) in a quest to save Greece from said gods and said war. Get. Excited. [Variety]
A new Twilight property peeks over the horizon, LeBron James preps for his film debut, and more Hollywood Ink after the jump.
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One of the funniest moments in Kevin Smith's Clerks -- back when the New Jersey native was a breath of fresh air rather than the world's most prominent Tweetulence sufferer, and back before movie references were the default setting for young comic characters -- had Randall recounting the idiocy he encountered in video-store customers. "They always pick the most intellectually devoid movie on the racks," he says. That's when a dumb-ass walks into the store, scans the shelves and squeals in delight: "Ooooooh -- Navy SEALS!" And what better recommendation for a remake? Hell, Smith might even get around to Clerks 3 and weave the line back in. So meta. But here are five things you won't see in the new Navy Seals movie.
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· Our goodwill toward Anna Faris is based on her usually being the funniest and cutest thing in comedies that range from the merely mediocre (Waiting, Just Friends) to the crushingly awful (The House Bunny, take your pick of the Scary Movie franchise), along with those occasionally credible supporting parts (Brokeback Mountain, Lost In Translation). Now, though, our love will be put to the test in a remake of Private Benjamin. Sure, she suits the role and has goofball charm to burn but can she improve on Goldie Hawn's Oscar-nominated performance?
· Plus, after the jump: James Bond matched with Lady Gaga, miners find Avatar a little insulting, and The Hurt Locker's explosive Nicolas Chartier gets ready for an Oscar rematch.
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Is there such a thing as screenwriters apologizing for what they're about to do? Paramount has hired Brian Gatewood and Alessandro Tanaka to take a crack at the big-screen version of Baywatch. Director Jeremy Garelick, who delivered unto us The Break Up, has already re-written the first script from the team of Jay Scherick and David Ronn, who probably owe a mea culpa for the likes of I Spy, Norbit, Serving Sara and National Security. And now the appointment of new guys seems to confirm that Garelick's taking things in a comic direction. But wait: insiders are saying it'll also be about female-driven action, just like Charlie's Angels.
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More cowbell is never enough so we gotta say "Happy birthday" to Christopher Walken. Let's celebrate with a quick soft-shoe shuffle through five curious facts from his formative years. Plus, the eminently rebootable The Love Boat, though no longer exciting and new, chalks up a landmark, and remembering the tragedy of The Crow.
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· Celebrity Apprentice castoff Carol Leifer sat with Andy Cohen during a run-of-the-mill Watch What Happens episode and posed a question to Kelly Bensimon that we didn't think to ask during our interview: "Could you be a bigger pinhead?" [ONTD]
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The ABC crime caper Castle, which just enjoyed its largest ratings ever during its season-two finale, has been picked up for a third season. The second-season closer also gave ABC its highest scripted series ratings in that timeslot (Mondays, 10 PM) in 14 years, a feat occurred despite the 11% ratings lag of its lead-in, Dancing with the Stars. We can only imagine the amount of extra viewers Castle could've pulled in had Kate Gosselin's routine wooed us into submission instead of the kitchen. [THR]
Remember the original trailer for Fox's big-budget Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz summer action tentpole Knight & Day? The one with all the flirty repartee and zinging bullets and stunts and voice-over and expensive star power fritzing your brain into little spastic flashbacks to, say, 2002 or so, well before Sam Worthington was in everything? This new trailer will only heighten that sensation and the overall stakes -- at least until the gratuitous beachgoing and green-screen bullfighting ring jolt you awake.
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Back in November, ABC premiered its re-imagining of the 1983 miniseries V after an expensive sky-writing campaign that advertised the show over 26 U.S. landmarks. The show premiered to strong ratings and favorable reviews but was yanked by the network after only four episodes for a four-month long hiatus. Network executive Steve McPherson explained that the break would make the series more of a "television event" but fans mourned the show and begged cast members to bring it back as soon as possible.
Last week, Movieline caught up with one of V's besieged stars, Joel Gretsch, who revealed that he is just as eager for his latest sci-fi venture to return before discussing his pivotal role on the United States of Tara and whether or not his father-in-law, William Shatner, has plans to guest-star on his ABC series.
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If you're a telegenic actor between the ages of 16 and 26 whose iPod looks like that of a diva-worshipping, 62-year-old gay man named Christopher (but never "Chris"), you're in luck! Glee just announced a nationwide casting call that begins today to fill three new roles in season two. What are the details?
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The pearly font says it all: "This journey is coming to an end." But the Hills cast's future in red carpet events for Old Navy ad campaigns and headband emporium openings has only bloom'd. Before they reenter off-screen surreality, we've got a final season of Spencer's tantrums, Heidi's facial paralysis, and Kristin's not-really-a-problem-you-guys drug problem to endure. I can almost hear their nonsense sentence fragments now...
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Actually, that's bad news for all of us. Yes, despite the fact that you are shaking your head right now, 20th Century Fox is developing a movie based on the E*Trade baby ads. This news will still be true later today when it suddenly comes to you like something out of a nightmare, and you attempt to reassure yourself that it was just a dream. It wasn't. It lives!
Now, how can E*Trade foe Lindsay Lohan turn this around to her benefit?
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Josh Radnor's well-received Sundance romcom happythankyoumoreplease was expected to be one of the festival's big sales, but it took a little while. Variety reports that the emerging Hannover House has bought the film for $1 million and set it for an August 27 release date. You may remember that Hannover also bought the atrocious Joel Schumacher drama Twelve at Sundance, which it's inexplicably releasing on July 2 opposite The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. Certainly, the audience for a film starring Chace Crawford and Emma Roberts will have no distractions that weekend. [Variety]
Last week, Movieline found its ringside seats for season two of Diablo Cody's United States of Tara. The premiere pitted reigning champion Tara against Buck, the only one of her personalities to survive her anti-psychotics, and despite taking a few broken beer battles to the head, Tara tossed Buck over the ropes and into the loving arms of a bartender played by Joey Lauren Adams. Last night though, Tara returned to the arena to clothesline more of her inner demons while Max, her ever-attentive husband, belted out Air Supply hits in her corner.
After the jump, Movieline declares the winner of last night's bloody smackdown in the second episode of the season, "Trouble Junction."
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Hoo boy. Let's hear it for Shonda Schilling, wife of three-time World Series champion and future Hall of Fame pitcher Curt Schilling, who joined her husband last weekend on NPR to promote their new book The Best Kind of Different: Our Family's Journey with Asperger's Syndrome. The Schillings are parents of a 10-year-old son, Grant, who was diagnosed with the disorder when he was 6. Which, as Mrs. Schilling noted last week on the air, places the young man in the company of such high-functioning autistics as Steven Spielberg. Wow! Who knew? Well, nobody, in fact -- because it's not true.
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