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VIDEO: Inevitable Charlie Sheen/Tom Cruise Mash-Up Just Dumb Enough to Work

It was just a matter of time before the erstwhile barometer of A-list Hollywood nutjobbery collided head-on with its reigning ambassador. The only real question was how that would work -- how or even if Tom Cruise's legendary come-to-Xenu moment would interface with Charlie Sheen's morning-show free-fall into notoriety. But as Sheen himself attests here, "'Can't' is the cancer of 'happen,'" so we've got to start somewhere, right?

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Sarah Palin Is Not the Biggest Fan of Kathy Griffin

Remember that time before Charlie Sheen, when the Palin Family was the only circus in town? Ah, memories. In an effort to regain some of that cultural edge, Sarah Palin visited Fox News on Sunday to discuss everything that's wrong with the country right now -- and the fact that Kathy Griffin is playing a "Sarah Palin-type" on an upcoming episode of Glee. Priorities, people!

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VIDEO: Jon Cryer Uses His Charlie Sheen-Forced Free Time to Answer Phones for Ellen DeGeneres

Slooooooooow clap for Jon Cryer, everyone! The now-kinda-unemployed Two and a Half Men star has kept quiet about Charlie Sheen's hourly media vomit sessions, but he's broken that silence for an obvious-but-hilarious bit of parody with Ellen DeGeneres. Click ahead to see Cryer working hard at his new day job with Ellen, then imagine how he had to listen to Sheen's ramblings for eight seasons. Guy deserves a medal. Or some tiger blood.

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VIDEO: Remember Charlie Sheen Really Winning on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

"Sheen is feeling more and more like OJ driving up the 405," tweeted David Poland earlier today. "I don't even think people realize they are just waiting for the gun to go off." Oy. Well, how about a drive down memory lane instead -- to a happier, more innocent time when Charlie Sheen actually volunteered to leave a TV show after a healthy payday.

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VIDEO: Celebrate Lou Reed's Birthday With His Greatest-Ever Screen Appearance

Good morning to you on this very special day! No, not Gavin McLoed's [sic] 80th birthday, though that deserves recognition, I can't lie. But! Lou Reed was born 69 years ago today in Brooklyn, NY -- a location that would become the partial subject of his fantastic appearance in the 1995 ensemble-improv weird-out Blue in the Face. Let's reminisce and pay some much-deserved respect below.

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VIDEO: Soul Surfer AnnaSophia Robb Can Totally Deal With Sharks

The final dispatch from Movieline's station at the Independent Spirit Awards features AnnaSophia Robb, whose new film Soul Surfer features the actress as Bethany Hamilton -- the real-life surfing prodigy who, in 2003, lost her arm in a near-fatal shark attack only to return to her board months later. Our own Carly Steel talked to Robb about hitting the water and getting the hang of the sport herself -- sea predators be damned.

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Watch Mark Wahlberg Pretend to Cast Mario Lopez in The Fighter 2

With two Oscars and $90 million-plus at the box office, The Fighter was one of the quiet successes of awards season -- which is nice, since Mark Wahlberg spent nearly ten years shepherding the project from his personal gym to the screen. That Wahlberg wasn't rewarded for is fantastic work as Micky Ward in the film was a disappointment, but not one that the former Oscar nominee seemed to mind -- he was always cheering both his film and his co-stars whenever he was given the opportunity. Which brings us to the red carpet interview that Wahlberg did with Mario Lopez outside the Kodak Theater on Sunday. Douche. Chills.

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VIDEO: Thomas Ian Nicholas Fine With American Pie 4, Not So Much With Glee

And now we find Thomas Ian Nicholas among the many attendees Movieline caught up with at last weekend's Independent Spirit Awards, where the American Pie actor (and touring musician) hesitated to confirm his involvement with the franchise's fourth film -- but admitted seriously considering the prospects, especially if he gets to work some of his songs into the mix. Don't worry, Pie devotees -- it's not what it might sound like. Let him explain in the video after the jump.

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VIDEO: The Original Robocop Endorses Detroit Statue of Himself

While we've already established that a Robocop statue for Detroit isn't really so bizarre in comparison to movie statues that already exist, Detroit's mayor Dave Bing still hasn't come around. Enter the original Robocop, Peter Weller with this compelling, mostly irrefutable video endorsement of the project. Whoever convinced Weller to walk this line between deadpan perfection and goofy idiocy while donning a homemade Robocop mask has my deepest thanks. I would now like to see Weller in a full length summer comedy.

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VIDEO: Worst Oscars Ever Condensed to 1 Crudely Animated Minute

It was just a matter of time before the crew at Next Media Animation broke down the 2011 Oscarcast. And perhaps inevitably, their version showcases all the prurient wonders both real and imagined, from Melissa Leo dropping a literal F-bomb to Tom Hooper's "triangle of man love" to Natalie Portman giving birth onstage. Because, I mean, obviously.

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LISTEN: Matthew Morrison's First Single Includes No White Rapping

Movieline HQ is already buzzing with the sounds of "Loser Like Me" -- it's an early candidate for "Song of the Spring" in my household, at least -- and on Monday, Ryan Seacrest debuted another Glee original. Sorta. Glee star Matthew Morrison will release a solo album this spring, and the first single has finally premiered, courtesy of The 'Crest. So, is it better than "Loser Like Me"? Does Morrison pull a Will Schuester and white-rap this sucker?

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VIDEO: The Grease Parody That Was Cut from the Oscars Was Better Than the Oscars

The one thing missing from the Academy Awards on Sunday night -- besides, chemistry, humor, energy and fun? That Grease parody that James Franco whetted our appetites for last week! If your dreams of James and Anne-as-Danny and Sandy were dashed in a haze of disappointment, don't worry: The Oscars have put the singing and dancing online, and it's... actually really fun! Certainly more fun than almost every other thing Franco and Hathaway did during the telecast. Which is probably why it was cut. Consistency! Click ahead to watch before Black Swan's water breaks. (You'll see.)

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VIDEO: Mr. Brainwash Explains the Banksy/Oscars Mural to Movieline

Screw the King's Speech/Social Network steel-cage match: The most intriguing subplot of tonight Oscarcast revolves around a first-time filmmaker you might have heard of named Banksy. At Saturday's Independent Spirit Awards, Movieline's own Carly Steel caught up with Thierry Guetta -- aka Mr. Brainwash, the street-art maven-turned-documentarian-turned documentary subject at the heart of Banksy's exhilarating, Oscar-nominated Exit Through the Gift Shop.

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This Is What It's Like Waking Up Next To James Franco

Award-winner for Best Actor last night at the Independent Spirit Awards, host and nominee tonight and somehow James Franco still has time to stoke our fantasies a little bit, shooting a short video of him in bed looking lovingly (crazily?) at us, his one-night stand. We look at him, we glance around the room as if to wonder where we are and how we got here, and then back at James' bedroom eyes to soak it all in. It's like we're all a Japanese body pillow named Kamiko now!

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VIDEO: Why Lea Thompson Isn't In Touch With Charlie Sheen: 'I'm Not a Hooker'

Reason #1 why we love Lea Thompson, who just landed a new ABC Family pilot, Switched at Birth: She's the girl we all wanted to be in the '80s. Reason #2: She's like the estimable honey badger when it comes to real talk about her old Red Dawn co-star turned Qaddafi of Hollywood, Charlie Sheen.

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