We've had less than 24 hours to fully absorb the shocking series of distress tweets typed by Paula Abdul, so despondent she could barely lift herself out of the luxurious, four-Mexican-gardener sofa that lines the wall of her sitting room. Reaction to her premature departure from American Idol -- just eight short years after she began -- has varied wildly, encompassing everything from veiled, Sicilian-widow-style sobbing to more composed remarks from the lesser-moved. (Hot Blog's David Poland eulogized, "Sadly, the only triumph left for Abdul will be in death. And given her clear substance problems, that could come all too soon. But don't book the Staples Center. The Wiltern should do the job, thanks." Touching.) Soon, a cottage industry of street merchants hawking tacky tribute T-shirts and knock-off charm bracelets engraved with the words "Miss Paula on Idol: 2001-2009" will fill the streets of downtown Los Angeles, but before Paula's departure becomes yet another opportunity to bilk a buck, we'd like some hard answers. Who is to blame?
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It's funny, the straw that broke this camel's back when it came to DirecTV's current ad campaign (which inserts movie stars back into the footage of their iconic roles -- only this time, instead of reciting their characters' famous dialogue, they're exhorting the viewer to buy satellite service). When Sigourney Weaver reprised Ellen Ripley for an ad, I bit my lip. When Kathy Bates turned Misery into a commercial, I furrowed my brow. Still, it wasn't until the latest DirecTV ad -- and perhaps the least inconsequential exhuming, on its face -- that I realized I'd hit my limit.
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Well, that was fun. At the Movies has deposed Ben Lyons and Ben Mankiewicz after a year of duty in its balcony seats. They will be replaced by Michael Phillips and A.O. Scott, the respective Chicago Tribune and NY Times critics who frequently served as guest reviewers for the syndicated show prior to the two Bens' installations.
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· Disney starlet Vanessa Hudgens is in the news again! She has a new movie coming out called Bandslam. What, you thought I was referring to something else?
· If Paramount wanted movie critics to access their inner children for G.I. Joe, all they had to do was show us this.
· The second new actor has been cast in The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. This time, it's Jodelle Ferland of Tideland and Silent Hill.
· What film might Judd Apatow do next? The Playlist takes a look at some of his producing potential.
· Sorry, Jules -- looks like Jillian and Ed might not make it after all. Hopes and dreams, shattered.
The publicity campaign for G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is really turning into quite the piece of work by Paramount. And I mean that in all due respect for the wicked genius at play here, from vice chairman Rob Moore -- who defended his press-screening blockade by explaining "we want audiences to define this film" -- down to the infantry flacks who have carefully cultivated a tiny, influential critical base behind the scenes. See Exhibit A: The infamous Inner-Child Demographic (including one critic who magically changed his mind) that bumped Joe from an 80 percent positive score on Rotten Tomatoes up to a 91 percent score literally overnight. So tell me again, Rob: Which audience is supposed to define this film? And again, why do we care?
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The gay blogosphere is abuzz with this provocative quote from an alleged Gerard Butler interview from 2004:
"I talk about my sexuality," he says, "But it's always glossed over. People seem to shy away from the issue. Whenever it is discussed, its distended and exaggerated. Gerard Butler is gay. No I'm not. I don't know myself what I am so it can be bewildering to see that being plugged. I have been in relationships with women. And men. That doesn't make me gay. That doesn't make me straight. Its hard enough to go through these things in my mind without being scrutinised about it so there are times when you want to close the door and say my sexuality is my own personal business."
Tangy stuff! Where did this bombshell interview come from? Hmm, let's see here... "Movieline." Hey, that's us! So is this thing the real deal, or the product of someone's overactive imagination?
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First Farrah. Then Michael. Now an American Idol worth watching. If we weren't sure that God was dead before, we now have conclusive evidence. With Kara DioGuardi standing atop the spinning Idol gyroscope, exhaling a powerful gust of fire-laughter as she triumphantly lifts a Coca-Cola-branded pitchfork to the smoky vortex that was once the sky, we thought we'd look back at some of the greatest moments in the Golden Reign of Paula Abdul.
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Variety announced today that Tom Hanks has decided not to star in Steven Spielberg's remake of Harvey, avoiding exactly the kind of unwinnable and unimaginative comparisons to Jimmy Stewart that we warned him against. So what's next for the project? We can guess!
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Yes, suggests Tom O'Neil (who else?): "[T]ry as it might, G.I. Joe will not be able to fly under the radar of the Razzie Awards. [...] With a cast of characters based on plastic dolls and a budget topping $175 million, G.I. Joe is just the type of movie to land in the cross hairs of the Razzie Awards." Hmph! I know a few critics' inner children who would beg to differ. [Gold Derby]
· Jennifer Aniston is attached to star in and co-produce Goree Girls, the true story of an all-female country-and-western group rocking a Texas prison in the 1940s. Grey Gardens adapter Michael Sucsy will polish the script and direct. Aniston's role is unknown at this time; here's hoping the washtub-bass skills that made her the life of Friends's renowned after-party jug-band jams finally get the big-screen spotlight they deserve. [Variety]
Jason Segal signs up for adventure, Josh Duhamel and Katherine Heigl will turn viewers' estrogen up to a rolling boil, and much more Hollywood Ink after the jump.
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Paula Abdul's rocky, woozy, funny, teary, sincere and altogether unforgettable eight-year tenure at American Idol is over. Abdul broke the news late Tuesday in a bundle of tweets to her followers. And while no one can really say they didn't see it coming, a Paula-less Idol remains no easier to comprehend as the sun rises this morning over a wounded America.
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· I think GERTY, the computer from Moon, is up against some stiff competition for Best Performance by a Smiley Face in a Motion Picture, Drama category at this year's Emoticony Awards. [via Videogum]
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Commenter DIMO's rhetorical question on our earlier Avatar post -- "Who knew we only had to wait 27 years for a sequel to Cat People?" -- led me to crack out the Photoshop once again. (If there's one thing I seem to enjoy, it's digitally juxtaposing this one-sheet next to other things, apparently.) And what do you know -- its symmetry with the poster for the 1982 film featuring Nastassja Kinski frolicking on a 5-tiered, carpeted jungle gym are simply uncanny. Throw in that New Moon poster featuring a yellow-eyed Edward, and we're clearly detecting a trend here: Hepatitis C is the hot new Hollywood thing!
After her panel at the CW press tour, entertainment president Dawn Ostroff broke this shocking news: the notoriously carb-averse 90210 is adding an overweight character! Reports THR: "The character is described as a fun and happy character, but who happens to be overweight." Prediction: She will not be allowed any romantic plotline until 90210 also introduces a token gay she can harmlessly pine for. [THR]
· Is this a preview of Ugly Betty's much-anticipated hottening?
· Leave it to Joan Rivers to pull out a shiv when the AP talked to her about the lack of female late-night hosts: "There's one girl, Chelsea Handler, but she's not funny."
· Scandal! NYC Prep's breakout maybe-gay PC Peterson is maybe middle-class.
· "If I'm the emblem for 'this is what it looks like to be the lonely girl getting on with her life,' so be it," says Jennifer Anison in the new issue of Elle. Oh my God, still with this? Jen, go rob a bank. Give people something new.
· At the CW's press tour for Vampire Diaries, THR's James Hibberd articulated something we've all wondered about: Aren't these schoolgirl-seducing vamps a little bit statutory-rapey?
