One of the few (if not the only) widely held highlights of Oscar night arrived at the beginning: The short film featuring hosts Anne Hathaway and James Franco bouncing from dream to dream, Inception-style, eventually burrowing into Alec Baldwin's subconscious and inhabiting sequences from Best Picture nominees like True Grit, The Fighter, The King's Speech and Inception itself. The film set a near-perfect tone for light irony and even lighter hosts that the show would not sustain, but at least we have filmmaker Troy Miller to thank in part for getting the broadcast off on the right foot.
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Don't worry about James Franco, guys. He may have squandered his first ever Academy Award hosting gig and lost out on an Oscar statuette in the Leading Actor category on Sunday night, but the Academy is giving him (and all of the other nominated losers) a consolation package worth over $200,000 -- which will send the overexposed actor into space.
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Kudos to Bruce Cohen and Don Mischer for thinking out of the box with James Franco and Anne Hathaway, but a loss is a loss is a loss. It just didn't work. Don't take my word for it -- or anyone else's here at Movieline HQ: the ratings for the 83rd Annual Academy Awards were down 10 percent overall from the 2010 telecast, and 13 percent in the "hip, young-er" demo of under 50s that the Oscars were courting. What can be done to fix this mess for next year? It's never too early to start worrying about the Oscars, and so here are 13 people who should be considered for hosts in 2012.
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You may not hear much about it today, but there is a school of thought purporting to redeem terrible Academy Awards ceremonies. "I actually like it when it's bad," one of its proponents wrote last night. "I like it when it chunders on and on and lasts all night. I like it when they accept that they will never be cool and just embrace their uncoolness." I offer that as a preemptive palate cleanser in advance of these nine Oscarcast critics who definitely don't like it when it's bad.
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Whether you felt the Kirk Douglas-Melissa Leo tango of wobbles was excusable or excruciating, it's clear that Ms. Leo experienced a great many emotions during her time at the podium. Some of them were silly. Join us for a gallery of the foulmouthed honoree's facial gymnastics.
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It was just a matter of time before the crew at Next Media Animation broke down the 2011 Oscarcast. And perhaps inevitably, their version showcases all the prurient wonders both real and imagined, from Melissa Leo dropping a literal F-bomb to Tom Hooper's "triangle of man love" to Natalie Portman giving birth onstage. Because, I mean, obviously.
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Like you, I spent Oscar night complaining. "Does anyone remember anything Christian Bale just said?" I crowed. "Where's James Franco? Did Bruce Vilanch actually write this patter? Is Melissa Leo allowed to live?" For my money, the worst part of the telecast were the speeches, the tepid medley of cursory thank-yous that never approached the greatness of, say, Shirley MacLaine's famous oratory. Here are five of Oscar losers who would have spruced things up a bit with podium panache.
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The only conversation I really remember having last night during the deeply, deeply demoralizing and sad and increasingly alcohol-befogged Oscarcast went kind of like this:
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The one thing missing from the Academy Awards on Sunday night -- besides, chemistry, humor, energy and fun? That Grease parody that James Franco whetted our appetites for last week! If your dreams of James and Anne-as-Danny and Sandy were dashed in a haze of disappointment, don't worry: The Oscars have put the singing and dancing online, and it's... actually really fun! Certainly more fun than almost every other thing Franco and Hathaway did during the telecast. Which is probably why it was cut. Consistency! Click ahead to watch before Black Swan's water breaks. (You'll see.)
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"If it is the worst Oscar show ever, who cares?" James Franco told Vanity Fair three weeks ago. "It's almost, like -- fine. It's, like, one night. It doesn't matter. If I host the worst Oscar show in the history of the Oscars, like, what do I care? I'll try my best." Except for that "try my best" part. As Franco seemed to predict, he and Anne Hathaway might have participated in the worst Oscars ever. Or at least the worst since "Uma" and "Oprah." Where did it all go wrong? Ahead five reasons why we should never speak of the 83rd annual Academy Awards again.
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We did it, everyone! Awards season is finally over. All that's left of this endless winter is the teeth-gnashing about the fact that your favorite didn't take home a trophy at the 83rd Annual Academy Awards. (David Fincher wuz robbed!) If you missed even one second of the less-than-spectacular telecast, catch up with our wonderful Oscar night coverage here. Otherwise, click ahead to see the full list of winners.
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Here we go: The ballots have been counted, the statuettes polished, the champagne chilled. All that's left is to make it all official in the lavish, epic annual rite we call the Academy Awards. And as always, no such occasion is complete without, oh, about five hours' worth of real-time commentary from the team at Movieline HQ -- and you. Join us!
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Screw the King's Speech/Social Network steel-cage match: The most intriguing subplot of tonight Oscarcast revolves around a first-time filmmaker you might have heard of named Banksy. At Saturday's Independent Spirit Awards, Movieline's own Carly Steel caught up with Thierry Guetta -- aka Mr. Brainwash, the street-art maven-turned-documentarian-turned documentary subject at the heart of Banksy's exhilarating, Oscar-nominated Exit Through the Gift Shop.
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The King of Bad Taste and newly-dubbed national treasure, John Waters, was in attendance yesterday at the Independent Spirit Awards and spoke to Movieline's Carly Steel about his deep, abiding respect for Justin Bieber, what the Biebs might have to do to win an Oscar (hint: practice finding a working vein, Justin!) and Banksy's super-secret identity.
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It's a little embarrassing. The Oscars are going out of their way to court younger viewers for this year's ceremony, snagging dewy lithe James Franco & Anne Hathaway and producing a series of cringe-worthy, pandering commercials (The kids like the hippety-hop, right? Let's use that one rap I remember my son listening to in 1994!). But despite all that mortifyingly silly Cool Dad posturing, the Academy is still set to give its big award to the fustiest, fuddy-duddiest movie in the pack, The King's Speech. But, for my money, the best picture of the year was literally for the kids.
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