As we mentioned earlier, the cast of The Brady Bunch won't reunite thanks to a spat between Maureen McCormick (Marcia) and Eve Plumb (Jan). Movieline responds to this by saying: that never stopped this cast of compulsive reuniters before! Bring us Geri Reischl, or "Fake Jan"! Let's watch her in action as she promotes The Brady Bunch Variety Hour with the rest of the cast in 1977. She's who I want to see on Today clutching Ann B. Davis for emotional support. [YouTube]
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Here now, courtesy of The Live Feed and presented without comment (except maybe that teensy bit we slipped into the headline) is the text of Jay Leno's opening monologue, delivered tonight at the top of his triumphant return to The Tonight Show. Enjoy.
"IT'S GOOD TO BE HOME. I'M JAY LENO YOUR HOST...AT LEAST FOR A WHILE.
I'VE GOT TO ADMIT THAT I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS. NOT BECAUSE IT'S MY FIRST NIGHT BACK. BECAUSE I KNOW THAT DAVE AND OPRAH ARE WATCHING.
ACTUALLY, WE WERE OFF FOR THE LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS. KIND OF LIKE THE RUSSIANS AT THE OLYMPICS. WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM?
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Total Film has published a portfolio of 30 never-before-seen photos taken on the sets of the original Star Wars films. And when we say mind-blowing, we're not forcin' around: Watch your childhoods get raped (in the good way) as your cherished intergalactic heroes indulge in extremely earthly vices! Tremble in fear as you witness ungodly genetic mutations fusing droids with Darths! Scream in terror as a beloved co-pilot is reduced to a bathmat and some fetching accessories.
You've already seen Ciggie-3PO, above. Can you handle the rest? It's all right this way...
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The closing Winter Olympic ceremony in Vancouver earned 45% better ratings than Torino's 2006 closer, while Sunday's Canada-U.S. gold-medal game was the highest-watched hockey match-up since the 1980 U.S.-Finland championship. I hope this means we can expect another Kurt Russell biopic. Perhaps he can turn to Patricia Clarkson at a rough moment and wish his team had the same sparkle as Johnny Weir's wings. [THR]
Here's a new term for you: supergraphics. Those are the ads that wrap around buildings and skyscrapers, often spanning dozens of stories and covering hundreds of windows in vinyl. With the Academy Awards coming up this weekend, supergraphics near the Kodak Theatre are suddenly of paramount importance (since they might appear in news coverage of the area), and thus, we have this How to Train Your Dragon supergraphic that just went up at the intersection of Hollywood and Highland, which houses the Kodak. One problem, though: These things are now totally illegal.
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Most people still associate Patrick Warburton with his recurring role on Seinfeld as David Puddy. But these days, Warburton can be heard on Fox's Family Guy, where he voices Joe Swanson, the show's paraplegic cop, and seen on CBS's mid-season sitcom Rules of Engagement, where the square-jawed actor matches his co-star David Spade laugh-for-laugh. Tonight, Rules premieres its fourth season, which Warburton eagerly discussed with Movieline last week.
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Why yes, this is a video of the Jersey Shore cast reenacting The Hurt Locker, commissioned by George Lopez. And why wouldn't it be? Look, if Pauly D is going to die, he is going to die with his hair comfortable (i.e. gelled). And if there is one irresistible story of this Oscar season, it is the chance to make history by giving the Best Director Oscar to a Snooki for the very first time. The clip, after the jump:
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The past three post-Jay Leno Show weeks have been an interminable wait for the rudely hiatused host to retake The Tonight Show throne, and usher in a second reign of peace and prosperity as the undisputed ruler of late night. (Luckily, the network made sure America got its Leno fix by spackling every crack in their Winter Olympic schedule with those jaunty "Get Back" promos -- The Beatles have never been so mind-buggeringly deployed!) Even though he's had 17 or so years to prepare himself for this big night, we're sure he could use some advice to help ease his transition and quiet the angry fluttering of the first-night butterflies, and so we're offering our suggestions to make sure this latest go-around begins as smoothly as possible.
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· Billy Baldwin will be playing Serena's dad on Gossip Girl, but he's not exactly over the moon about it. "I'm [supposed to be] with the girl," he told Michael Ausiello, "not the father of the girl."
· You almost got a Brady Bunch reunion this week, but as often happens, incestuous lesbian rumors scuttled the whole thing.
· Julianne Moore will be taping a brief walk-on appearance on As the World Turns, the soap where she got her start.
· Uh-oh: That Hiroshima book that James Cameron optioned? It's been pulled from publication, on account of fakery.
· Erratic actor Randy Quaid would like an apology for being arrested. I'm sure one is forthcoming.
Robert Pattinson probably didn't want to spend his Saturday at a press junket any more than the journalists who greeted him there, but we're all professionals here. Especially Pattinson, whose new film Remember Me features the young megastar in a searching departure from his Twilight turn as Edward Cullen. There's still the young torment, the dilemma of first love (with a fellow NYU student played by Emilie De Ravin) and, well, that awe-inspiring hair. But in determining what makes his character Tyler Hawkins tick, there's also a somewhat shocking awareness of mortality beneath all that gorgeous sulking. Between his aloof father (Pierce Brosnan), his compassionate mother (Lena Olin), his confidante little sister (Ruby Jerins) and the ghost of his dead older brother, Tyler is always just on the verge of some discovery -- and despite what Pattinson's fans may crave, it's not quite catharsis.
I'd love to be more specific, and I will be as Remember Me's review embargo drops prior to its March 12 opening. Until then, Pattinson helped Movieline make at least a little sense of it all at last week's press gathering in New York:
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Even though the Oscars are taking steps to be younger and hipper this year, there's only so far they can go in making things contemporary. To that end, producers have decided on many show elements that would have been popular not this year, but in 2006; how else to explain the puzzling selection of former Good Charlotte frontman Joel Madden as "house deejay" at the show (!!!) or the Oscar.com contest to select a dress for the on-stage award escorts that's reminiscent of Project Runway?
Still, since all the acting categories at the Oscars are locked up and voting in the escort designer challenge ends today, we thought we'd try our hand at a little outfit prognostication. Meet the contenders!
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Roger Ebert is having a nice run lately, coming as he is off his stirring profile in this month's Esquire, his satisfying swats at the Hollywood Right, and now an audience with Oprah, his longtime friend and protege. Airing tomorrow, his appearance will debut the new computerized voice programmers have developed using the commentary tracks he provided for movies like Citizen Kane, Casablanca, and his own Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. He calls the final product Roger Jr., and while it could be "smoother in tone and steadier in pacing... the little rascal is good."
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Jerry Seinfeld's The Marriage Ref, a "reality" series where celebrities judge commoners' marital disputes and declare a winner, debuted last night on NBC. Movieline's own Louis Virtel and Julie Miller witnessed this and survived. Here's the transcript from their commiseration.
Louis: Oh my God, there's an emergency.
Julie: What?!
Louis: I am going to kill everyone associated with The Marriage Ref. WHAT IS THIS THING?!
Julie: Can we talk about this?
Louis: Let's pick like, 150 problems with it. Or ten or something. Fine, four. Then let's quit.
Julie: OK. Go!
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35-year-old Rian Johnson exploded onto the indie film scene in 2005 with his feature debut, Brick -- a captivating noir that both honored the form and subverted it by setting the mystery at a suburban California high school.
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Last week's commandeering of the Oscar zeitgeist by the Inglourious Basterds team might have seemed too-little-too-late for a vote that ends tomorrow. But if you can imagine and even more obvious, desperate campaign strategy than all that troop-recruiting, Hurt Locker-slamming action of late, it would probably look and/or sound like Operation Rabbi, which apparently has been quietly underway since last fall.
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