Five Possible Directions for the Barbie Movie
Title: Twilight Barbie
Occupation: Any of her 120 jobs she could perform on a part-time basis during high school
Casting possibilities: Amanda Seyfried, Nikki Reed
Logline: Three words: Barbie. Teenage. Vampire. We're shooting tomorrow. Script? Hmm. Oh, we've got this thing about a high school full of really hot 17-year-old vampires we've had on the shelf for eight years. It's terrible, but we'll dust that bad boy off, find-and-replace Barbie into it, we're good to go. You ready to open to $75 million? F*ck yes, you are. Let's do this. I can already see an entire aisle at Hot Topic selling black vampire Barbie lunchboxes. [Sound of a high-five, three lines of blow being Hoovered off a glass coffee table.] Nice!
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Comments
I might actually WATCH 'Nurse Barbie' and I'm not sure how I feel about that realization...
Has Barbie always been as orange as Dina Lohan?
The "tit"le of the article was ok. The story "lay"out was not.
Enjoy "poking" fun at barbie while you can. I think it will make huge money at the "box" office when it does get release. After all i have 2 kids who might want to see it.
steelwolf, does your Mom know you have two kids?
I was just thinking, ALL of these titles would also work for porn.
I'd pony up for Brokeback Barbie with Pamela Anderson as an aging Barbie who's lost her way and confidence. So she spends a summer working on a cattle ranch, meets another cow girl named Skipper (Wynona Ryder) and all sorts of feminine mysteries (and a new way of life Barbie never explored) are revealed to her and explored.
Followed, of course, by BB2 - Scissors Mountain
STEP IT UP BARBIE
reviving the STEP IT UP franchise - Barbie is the part-time cheerleading coach with a really cool car and really cool apt. Her ugly duckling younger sister Skipper (who she never met because Barbie had to leave the house at a young age - due to a SECRET) is the new student who wants to make the cheerleading squad. With the help of Barbie's now EX-Boyfriend Ken and his FABULOUS gay buddies - give Skipper a make-over and help Skipper put the QUEER in CHEER !!!