Tim Burton's The Fashion Nightmare Before Christmas

· Ever wonder what a Tim Burton-styled Harper's Bazaar layout would look like? Probably exactly as you'd imagine.

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Outraged Villagers Crash Julia Roberts' Private Eat, Pray, Love Temple

Julia Roberts was supposed to be the one who restored Hollywood's reputation in India, bringing her tasteful adaptation of Eat, Pray, Love this week to a country still stung by the West's one-two punch of The Love Guru and Slumdog Millionaire. She had been held in high esteem there since a recent visit to the Taj Majal (bindi spot and all!), and her tale of a woman finding herself through travel and Hindu spirituality would unite cultures, heal souls and sow respect for years to come. And then she started filming.
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K-Overfed

Kevin Federline has been added to the cast of Celebrity Fit Club and will be competing against his ex, Shar Jackson, TMZ reports. The great thing about Federline's style is that after slimming down, he will still be able to wear all those XXXL polo shirts. [TMZ]

Buzz Break: Batted Down

· Though he once inadvertently spread rumors of Johnny Depp starring in Christopher Nolan's next Batman sequel, Michael Caine tells MTV it won't happen: "There is nobody, there's no script, there's nothing. It can't possibly be made before 2011 because [Nolan's] Inception is such a big picture."

· Prison Break star Wentworth Miller is getting locked up again -- this time, for Resident Evil: Afterlife.

· Looks like Heather Locklear will, in fact, be playing boss-lady to Katie Cassidy's bisexual bombshell on Melrose Place. How long before our first cougar-on-kitten coupling?

· Heroes returned last night and fell almost 46% from last year's season premiere. Ouch.

· Justin Lin and Neal Moritz are mounting a Highlander remake for Summit. There can be only several.

The 11 Commandments of Werner Herzog's Anti-Film School

Have you longed to remake previously-thought-untouchable Abel Ferrara cult classics since before you could talk? Can you rattle off the beasts of Grizzly Man as easily as Snow White's dwarves or Santa's reindeer? When your classmates discovered women, were you more preoccupied with Woyzeck? Then maybe you're just the person to attend anti-establishment filmmaker Werner Herzog's Rogue Film School™. The school, as evidenced by its 11-point doctrine, is not here to instruct you on how to make films. For that, you can go to non-rogue institutions like NYU or USC. So what will it teach you? Beyond the fundamentals of visual storytelling, how about "the art of lockpicking. Traveling on foot. The exhilaration of being shot at unsuccessfully ... The creation of your own shooting permits. The neutralization of bureaucracy." And much, much more! The full rundown is after the jump.
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5 Can't-Miss Pairings for Gene, Walden's Genie Buddy Movie

An exciting-ish new prospect emerged on the development horizon Monday when Walden Media announced it had undertaken Gene, a new, buddy-comedy take on the classic tale of genies, lamps and the three life-changing wishes that follow. The producers slapped the requisite "log line under wraps" status on the pitch from Randi Mayem Singer, whose previously announced work on Big Momma's House 3 suggests she could use some help putting this new project together. Movieline is naturally more than happy to oblige with some casting and plot suggestions after the jump.

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President Gifts Letterman With Most Viewers In 4 Years

In addition to pulling off one of the most coolly executed guest segments in Late Show history last night, President Obama attracted the largest Letterman audience in the span of a full presidential term. With a 14 share, CBS clobbered NBC's Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien by nearly 200% more viewers and out-finished the Jay Leno Show by 27% among households. The last person to garner a larger audience for Letterman was Oprah in 2005. [Hollywood Reporter]

Who Should Host the Oscars?

At the very end of Vulture's chat with Hugh Jackman, they asked if the multi-faceted star would again host the Oscars this year. His response: "I don't know. I haven't been asked." Which got us thinking: If it's never too early for Best Picture punditry, then it's just as valid to start calling the odds on who'll host an awards show five months away. We've narrowed down the race to seven candidates, broken down in three categories: The Thoroughbreds, The Tantalizing Possibilities, and The Dark Horses.

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Crackerific Emmys Spark NAACP Protest

Neil Patrick Harris's tuxedo was hardly the whitest thing about last weekend's Emmys, according to a new complaint by the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. Just check out the audience, it mentions, including a nominee base comprising a handful of minorities, three black presenters and exactly one non-white winner (Iranian actress Shohreh Aghdashloo). Not so good, says the NAACP's man in Hollywood -- who wants changes now.
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CAA Takes on Archie

In keeping with the mandate to have a feature-length film for every American brand by 2015, CAA has signed up Archie Comics Publications as a potential source for franchise riches. The agency, which has already packaged a few tentative projects for Mattel, will now attempt to interest general audiences in titles including Archie & Friends, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Josie and the Pussycats, Cosmo the Merry Martian, Super Duck and Dotty and Ditto. The timing couldn't be better: Archie's controversial marriage to Veronica is unfolding as we speak, setting the brand up for a seamless, lucrative transition into the Crazy White Bitch genre as Betty seeks her violent revenge. [Variety]

The Curious Case of Omer Bhatti, the Man Who Would be King (of Pop)

Omer Bhatti, 25, is Michael Jackson's son. Except he's not. It depends on whom you believe: Joe Jackson, who planted the young man in the family section at MJ's memorial service in July, confirming to an interviewer that Bhatti was the product of the King of Pop's Norwegian fling in 1983? Or Bhatti himself, an aspiring rapper who's been cited second-hand in flimsy gossip reports denying Jackson's paternity? DNA tests may or may not be forthcoming, but really, no better potential for validation exists than the one floated this week by the British tabloids: Omer Bhatti is the family's choice to play Jackson in a biopic. Right.
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Fire Up the Brad Pitt Rumors: Sherlock Holmes 2 On the Way

· Warner Bros. might have finally given up trying to hide Brad Pitt as Moriarty in Sherlock Holmes -- or it finally succumbed to the bright idea of harnessing his appeal as the franchise moves forward. Either way, the actor is linked to discussions for Sherlock Holmes 2, which Joel Silver is now developing and to which Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law and Guy Ritchie are all likely to return. Movieline faves Kieran and Michele Mulroney are hammering out the screenplay, in which Pitt would emerge from the first film's shadows to more conspicuously torment his nemesis Holmes. Sorry, England -- America promises its leading men will do their best with your cultural icons. Michael Sheen was probably booked or something anyway. [THR]

Darren Aronofsky plans a heist, John Malkovich and Co. get to know Secretariat, and more Hollywood Ink after the jump.

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Cloudy with a Chance of Jibber-Jabber

· The afrohawk might be thinning, but Mr. T's movie career is back on top with his voice work in the #1 movie in America, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.
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Fire Up the VW: Little Miss Sunshine: The Musical is Coming

Broadwayworld.com (what? We like to keep up with Idina Menzel's career) is reporting that Little Miss Sunshine is currently being workshopped at the Sundance Institute's showtune-incubating theater lab at White Oak, FL. And some pedigreed talents are behind the show: Composer/lyricist William Finn (Falsettoland) is writing the songs and James Lapine, who wrote the books for Sunday in the Park with George and Into the Woods, will do the same for Sunshine.
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Peer Pressure

Not to be outdone by those press-hogging Oscars, the Producers Guild of America announced today that the annual PGA Awards would also be expanding its nominee field to 10. The crop is usually seen as a major Oscar harbinger, and though the move brings it more in line with those awards, I can't help but think the PGAs missed a big opportunity, since staying at five nominees could have given it unusual cachet for predicting the Best Picture upper tier. Nominations will be announced January 5.