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Help Movieline Caption the First Pics of Tom Cruise Scouting Locations for Next Mission: Impossible

It may not have a title -- though fingers and toes are still crossed here at Movieline HQ for Vanilla Script -- but with Tom Cruise and a cast of upstarts (Jeremy Renner and Paula Patton) already onboard, Paramount's Mission: Impossible relaunch is happening sooner rather than later. That helps explain what Cruise was doing scouting locations in Prague this week with director Brad Bird. If every picture tells a story, imagine what four pictures can tell you. Ahead, put on your best thinking cap and help Movieline caption the action.

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Jon Hamm Discusses Depression Over Death of a Loved One (Not Ida Blankenship)

Promotional tours are funny things. One day you're playing a football-poker hybrid game with Jimmy Fallon and the next minute you're telling People how your father's death left you chronically depressed during college. At least that is the plight of Jon Hamm during his press circuit for The Town. "I knew I had to get back in school and back in some kind of structured environment and ... continue," he said of his time at the University of Texas. "You can change your brain chemistry enough [with anti-depressants] to think: 'I want to get up in the morning; I don't want to sleep until 4 in the afternoon." [People]

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Greed is Good: 5 More Characters from the 80s Which Should Be Dusted Off Again

This weekend, Gordon Gekko returns to theaters in Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, a prospect that a few years ago, you probably never thought would happen. If Gekko, really the epitome of 1980s culture, can come back for another adventure, why not some of other nostalgic favorites? Ahead, Movieline presents the five characters from the '80s that have yet to be resurrected, but really should. (Don't get your hopes up, Ferris Bueller fans: Your boy hero was already resurrected for an early 1990s television show.)

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Buzz Break: Lost's Hurley Leaves the Island to Sing with Weezer

· Lost's Jorge Garcia channeled his inner Charlie Pace last night in Los Angeles when he took the stage with Weezer. Considering the band named their recent album "Hurley" and used a photo of Garcia for the album art, this was probably inevitable. Watch Garcia sing "Perfect Situation" with Rivers Cuomo and get more Buzz Break after the jump.

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The Wachowskis' Colbalt Neutral 9 to Feature Gay Sex, Assassination Attempt

Been curious about what the Wachowskis were planning for Cobalt Neutral 9, their gay love story set during the Iraq War? Vulture reports that the film will revolve around "found footage" (think Cloverfield) of an American soldier named Butch, his gay Iraqi lover and their assassination attempt against then-president George W. Bush. In addition to that hot button plot turn, the two lovers will also have "graphically described sex" while wearing burqas. Needless to say, the Wachowskis are reportedly considering self-financing this one. [Vulture]

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Everybody Wish Showgirls a Happy 15th Birthday!

It all started in the early '90s, when the Basic Instinct brain trust of Paul Verhoeven and Joe Eszterhas went one step further in movie smutdom and Elizabeth Berkley sought to shed Saved By the Bell. From those humble, horny beginnings, Showgirls was conceived and finally born 15 years ago today -- a bouncing baby camp classic.

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Report: Rooney Mara 'Severely Injured' on Dragon Tattoo Set [UPDATED]

Grains of salt at the ready: Perez Hilton reports that Rooney Mara has been rushed to the hospital after "severely" injuring her shoulder on the set of David Fincher's Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. That's all the details anyone has right now; representatives at Sony were not immediately available for comment, but expect more here as the story unfolds. And all best to Mara... UPDATE 2:20 p.m. EDT: I'm still waiting for Sony to call back, but apparently Cinematical got a hold of a studio rep who debunked the earlier report. So. [Perez Hilton]

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And You Think Your Film Is Hard to Get Made

"Sonia Nassery Cole knew that shooting a movie on location in Afghanistan could get her killed. The most vivid reminder came a few weeks before filming, she said, when militants located her leading actress and cut off both of her feet." This never would have happened if she'd just cast Betty White as instructed. [NYT]

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Behind the Awful Scenes: Uwe Boll Documentary on the Way

The Austin Film Festival has announced that it will premiere the documentary Raging Boll, which explores infamous director Uwe Boll's life both on- and off-set. It's definitely arguable that Boll's cries for attention have already gone far enough. But, assuming it's not just a sugar-coated apology piece, aren't you a little curious to see creative process behind the most unwatchable movies of the last decade? If it has material as good as the House of the Dead commentary -- where Boll explains the immense acting talent required to make an empty box look heavy -- then I'm game. [Austin Film Festival]

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Natalie Portman as 'Edgy' Snow White, and 6 Other Stories You'll Be Talking About Today

Also in today's Broadsheet: Breaking Dawn resists the 3-D tide (for now)... Prince of Persia is the most scathing anti-Iraq metaphor you never saw... McG and Bryan Singer retreat to the Web... and more...

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Star-Crossed Lawn Ornaments Finally Get a Happy Ending in Gnomeo & Juliet

Here's one where funding probably came together based on the title and one-line pitch alone -- A 3-D (naturally), computer-animated comedy version of Shakespeare's classic with talking garden gnomes instead of people. And wait till you hear the title! Somehow though, I'm guessing that the titular characters don't kill themselves at the end.

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Get Ready to Explore Even More Layers in Inception Video Game

At a Rome press conference for Inception, director Christopher Nolan unveiled plans to develop an video game version of the blockbuster that will explore "all kinds of ideas that you can't fit into a feature film." No word on whether these ideas involve mind-bending dream puzzles or just more snow-mobile chases and shootouts with faceless goons in the Arctic. Still, if Nolan oversees this it may change the tune of those who dismiss video games as a lesser art form and encourage more major directors to explore the medium.

[Hollywood Reporter]

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Paul Bettany Finds Exception to 'Thou Shall Not Kill' in Priest Trailer

Yep, there's actually a little-known clause to that "do not kill" commandment - vampires and human beings who create or protect them must be killed. At least, according to the new trailer for Priest. I was actually brainstorming clever ways to call out this Paul Bettany vs. holy vampires flick on completely ripping off last year's Paul Bettany vs. angels flick Legion. But it turns out that the same guy, Scott Charles Stuart, directed both movies. And now I'm a little curious about Stuart.

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Huge Disney Flop to Become a Much-Anticipated Musical

Tony-winner Harvey Fierstein has signed on to write a libretto for a stage version of Newsies, the 1992 Disney bomb about the NYC paperboy strike of 1899. Fierstein will be aided by Academy Award-winning composer Alan Menken. The film has gained a considerable following since its poor box office performance, which once prompted star Christian Bale to note, "Time healed those wounds. But it took a while." Newsboys are reportedly through with him professionally. [Playbill]

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Val Kilmer Passed on 'Hardcore Pornography' of Blue Velvet

Another fun Movieline Vault discovery: While discussing Batman Forever in 1995, Val Kilmer confessed he missed the boat on David Lynch's Blue Velvet. " 'I was given [a copy of that script] because [at one point] I was involved with Dune,' he recalls. 'It would have been my first job for damn near a year. So, Dave gave me the script and it was straight-out, hardcore pornography before page 30. I never finished it. I said, "Good luck, but I can't do this." It isn't what he ended up making,' he says, pointedly. 'That movie, I would have done.'" Of course. [The Vault]