Star Trek 2 Gets A Title: Where Does It Rank In The Franchise?
What's in a name? J.J. Abrams' Star Trek reboot sequel finally has one (per Deadline) and despite my deepest, nerdiest hopes that early reports were on some crazy tip it's been confirmed so I guess we're stuck with it. I hope you're ready for — drumroll please... Star Trek Into Darkness. Star Trek into what now!?
I'm sure it was tough to come up with a naming convention that deviated from the original Trek movies' Roman numeral + subtitle formula, or the TNG-era Treks' annoying penchant for terribly vague one-word descriptors ("Nemesis"? "Generations"?). At least those made more sense once you saw the movie.
But Star Trek Into Darkness? For starters, it sounds like Step Into Liquid and Step Up 2 The Streets, which makes me think Chris Pine and Co. are headed for a dance-off with outer space surfers to the music of a British glam rock band. On top of that, dropping the colon forces us to comprehend "Trek" as both a noun and a verb, which makes my brain hurt. Who wants to go Star Trekkin' with J.J. Abrams?
[*Commenter Elijah Sarkesian is right: Maybe someone just forgot the colon. If that's the case then I forgive Abrams and will move Star Trek: Into Darkness into #10 right under Star Trek: Insurrection, because "insurrection" is at least an interesting vocabulary word.]
Maybe I'm being too harsh on poor Star Trek 2. Looking back on the Trek films, they weren't all winners. Here's how I'd rank the 12 franchise titles, from awesome (KHAAAAAAAN!) to turrible.
1. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
2. Star Trek III: The Search for Spock
3. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
4. Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
5. Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country
6. Star Trek: The Motion Picture
7. Star Trek: First Contact
8. Star Trek
9. Star Trek: Insurrection
10. Star Trek: Nemesis
11. Star Trek: Generations
12. Star Trek Into Darkness
Yep. Still not working.
Sound off below. Together we can get through this, guys.
Star Trek 2 is in theaters May 17, 2013.