Film nerds whose agita has been exacerbated by the absence of The African Queen on DVD and Blu-ray can relax and ditch their worn VHS copies this week. The film is finally available on March 23 after a restoration process that was carefully overseen by the film's cinematographer, Jack Cardiff, and took six years of meticulous cleaning, scanning and digitizing of the original prints to complete.
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The Paycheck Role has long been one of the more pejorative distinctions in Hollywood, associating generally respected actors with films in which you can virtually see them holding their noses on camera. Today's news of John Malkovich and Frances McDormand joining Transformers 3 inducts a new duo into this distinguished subculture. But there's also a chance they know that for every Robin Williams cash-grab or Robert De Niro slum job, there are a tiny handful of actors who have actually established milestones of one sort or another while pulling down big salaries in bad, misconceived, underwritten and/or otherwise ill-advised films. Only time will tell if Malkovich and McDormand join the elite whom The Movieline Nine has taxonomized here; weigh in with your own additions below.
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If you've ever longed to watch an overweight Cheers alum and her pudgy handyman sweat it out on a Wii Fit and then cuddle lemurs, Kirstie Alley has designed (and stars in!) a reality show for your cultivated taste. Kirstie Alley's Big Life premiered last night on A&E and proved to be more than anyone here at Movieline expected -- in other words, there were issues explored last night that did not involve carbonara cravings, pesky paparazzi and delusions born out of an early '90s Emmy. After the jump, join me as I cull the most thought-provoking moments from last night's plus-sized Kirstie Alley's Big Life premiere.
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Adding another reality competition in your life is an undertaking -- especially with Idol, Runway, The Biggest Loser, and Celebrity Apprentice overbooking your head space. But thanks to the Logo network, you will consider dumping a few of those middling productions and venturing beyond basic cable. Rupaul's Drag Race, Logo's runaway (or is it strut-away?) reality hit, features 10 drag queens vying to win an ad contract with Absolut Vodka, a feature in Paper, and the title of America's next drag superstar. In broad strokes, it sounds campy, maybe fun. Believe me, it is both. But upon closer inspection, RuPaul's Drag Race offers five anomalies to the reality-competition format, and all five shake up the genre in its staggering stilettos. It's a revolution, girls.
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· "I have nothing but good things to say about Jason Segel's penis," says Mila Kunis to GQ, calling it "handsome" and "well-proportioned." A beautiful actress talking dirty in a men's magazine? Well, I never!
· Congratulations to Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher, who just tied the knot.
· Wilmer Valderrama uses Chatroulette too, and unlike someone, he doesn't have to lie about his past projects on it.
· Tom Ford is about to sell a Warhol painting for more money than A Single Man made in its whole run.
· Expect an exciting toothbrush-based confrontation on the next installment of The Real World, Can't wait!
Burn After Reading stars John Malkovich and Frances McDormand are reuniting on the big screen for ... Transformers 3? Malkovich will play Shia LaBeouf's boss and McDormand the National Intelligence Director, allaying fears the two would be cast as a pair of ugly Japanese stereotypes who accelerate without warning. [Deadline]
Maybe this requires a spoiler alert, but: Reports out of England on Sunday indicated that the set of the climactic Battle of Hogwarts caught fire during shooting on Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. No principal cast members were present (it was a special-effects shoot), and none of the 100 or so crew members on set were injured. Losses were estimated at £100,000 (around $150,000), but really, it's the only appropriate ending for the franchise. And Warners said the set needed to be rebuilt anyway, so why not blow it to hell? It'll look great in IMAX. [Coventry Telegraph via /film]
There's no denying the sheer momentousness of yesterday's health care reform vote, the last stretch of a grueling political marathon whose finish line comes tomorrow with a Presidential signature and joyous Ace Bandage parade on the National Mall immediately after. But what kinds of reactions to this milestone in American history were celebrities tweeting, blogging and having stitched by Malaysian sweatshop workers into their vanity fashion lines? A sampling lies just ahead...
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There's nothing like a crop of summer movies to meet your quota of explosions after a particularly dry Oscar season, but what of this year, when the percussion-heavy The Hurt Locker took Best Picture? It's time for Movieline's annual dissection of the best explosions as seen in this year's summer movie trailers, and if these flicks hope to outdo Hurt Locker, they've got a lot of ground to make up. Here are 6 of the most explosive contenders:
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Celebrity Apprentice's two-hour run time is chock full of... well, lots of things, since it's two ridiculous hours long. But its most awe-worthy attribute is former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich's unrelenting narcissism, and his ability to speechify like a South Park politico caricature. In between claiming his innocence (to no one in particular) and breaking from confessionals to shake hands with people on the street, Rod enjoyed one spectacular moment of self-aggrandizement that you may not have noticed -- unless you read into his sudden interest in balloons.
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We trust your weekend was filled with round-the-clock home-screenings of New Moon, during which you swooned 'til the wee morning hours to the gender-indeterminate dreaminess of above-the-title sparklepire Robert Pattinson. But if you never made it to Walmart, you can still enjoy some of the DVD bonus features -- not the revealing commentary by Taylor Lautner's abs, unfortunately, but rather a deleted scene, which has found its way onto YouTube.
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Perhaps impressed by the boundless understanding of love and relationships Madonna recently displayed on The Marriage Ref, actor Ewan McGregor has boarded the romantic drama W.E., which the Material Girl will direct. McGregor will play the swoon-worthy Edward VIII, who abdicated his throne to marry American divorcée Wallis Simpson (Vera Farmiga) in 1936. Let's hope the film cuts off before Eddie stars getting buddy-buddy with the Nazis during World War II. Not quite as romantic! [Screen Daily]
![Natural-Breasted, Lawn-Friendly Extras Sought by Pirates IV, Gnomeo & Juliet [UPDATED]](http://movieline.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/sexy_pirate-120x92.jpg?w=120&h=120&crop=1)
Verge interviewee Greta Gerwig was just the first of the breakthoughs to earn recognition here today. Amateur actors, extras, unemployed fame-cravers and the rest of the striving Hollywood talent pool are encouraged to check out a few scorching opportunities making the rounds of late. To wit, do you have what it takes to share the screen with Johnny Depp and/or animated garden gnomes? If so, inquire within!
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Larry David will follow in Jerry Seinfeld's footsteps by creating a panel show. Only instead of examining married couples who fight over whether or not they should stuff their pet beagle, Curb Your Enthusiam: The Discussion will feature "high profile guest-stars, pundits and prominent social figures" who debate the moral implications of the behavior in each HBO episode. The seven-minute extras will be hosted by Curb star Susie Essman and will run on the TV Guide Network this summer in conjunction with the series. [TV Guide]
Pop Quiz: You paid Conan O'Brien $44 million in peacock bills so that he'd stop badmouthing your network's good name on-air until September. Coco Nation resents you for ousting their fearless red-headed leader from his 11:35 time slot and beginning April 12, Conan's fans will mobilize for a 30-city comedy tour that will only strengthen anti-NBC sentiment. But another network swoops in and offers you the chance to polish off your image. All you have to do is allow Conan to take part in a live broadcast that will raise millions of dollars for the impoverished. What do you do?
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