Previously on Lost: Ageless mystery man Richard Alpert visits five-year-old orphan John Locke (original, not Smokey) in his foster home. Richard gasses the Dharma Initiative. Richard convinces Juliet to take a fun submarine ride to the island with him. Richard suddenly emerges from some dense flora in the jungle, then disappears back into it just as quickly. Richard experiences acute existential angst after his god is killed. A distraught Richard unsuccessfully attempts suicide through Jack.
Please chain yourself to a wall in the hold of the Black Rock and prepare yourself for a bumpy ride across an ocean of new questions, with your journey abruptly ending in a shipwreck of uncomfortable answers shaken loose by an impact with a four-toed statue.
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Mike Fleming reports that The Weinstein Company has picked up rights to the John Wells downsizing drama The Company Men, starring Ben Affleck, Tommy Lee Jones, and Kevin Costner. It'll join a TWC slate for the year that so far boasts The Concert (July 16), The Tillman Story (August 20), Nowhere Boy (October 8), The King's Speech (November 26), and Blue Valentine (December 31). Sorry, longtime TWC also-rans Hoodwinked 2 and Shanghai! Hope that shelf you're sitting on is mighty comfortable. [Deadline]
· Scarlett Johanssen is farting fireballs on this brand-new Iron Man 2 poster. Superpowers just ain't what they used to be. (Click for bigger.)
· Liam Neeson will play LBJ and Cedric the Entertainer is set for Ralph Abernathy in Lee Daniels's Selma. Good move, Cedric: Daniels has a history of guiding hairy-legged black comics to Oscar glory.
· CSI and The Mentalist are changing time periods! Stop the CBS lineup, I want to get off.
· Kim Zolciak has admitted that she is in a same-sex relationship (that Andy Cohen and Real Housewives producers arranged for her, cough cough).
· Cheyenne Cinnamon and the Fantabulous Unicorn of Sugar Town Candy Fudge won a contest to become a new Adult Swim series. Why, that doesn't sound like an Adult Swim show at all!
Can't wait for the pushed-back Wall Street 2 to arrive this fall? Need an Ollie Stone fix in the interim? Well, there's this: His sympathetic documentary about Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez, South of the Border, has found a U.S. home at Cinema Libre Studio. The distributor announced it plans to launch the film June 25 in New York followed by a Los Angeles release on July 2 -- just in time for Independence Day. Blurbs from Courtney Love are forthcoming, natch. [Cinema Libre]
Just when viewers were beginning to believe that the Bravermans weren't just another upper middle class family who thinks that their problems are the end of the suburban world they know, NBC's Parenthood unloaded a luxury sedan full of standard parenting issues onto America. After the jump, Movieline weeds through the Facebook boyfriends named Yo-Yo, sisterly squabbles and found bongs for the edgiest issues dealt with in the show's latest episode, "Whassup."
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Nobody wants to see a couple busted up, and nobody but the other man/woman rejoices if/when it does. With that in mind, it's hard to know what the Hollywood media establishment thinks it will get out of asking celebrities for deep, profound and/or revelatory insights about the break-up process beyond, of course, "Well, that sucks." And, "I wish them only the best." The ongoing Sandra Bullock/Jesse James imbroglio (now upgraded to "separated," according to those definitive arbiters of marital status at IMDB) hasn't proven to break the cycle, but only accelerate it furiously from zero to LOL in seconds flat. After the jump, find the five least essential messages of support for Sandy (with helpful translations from PR-ese) in a time when, really, she'd probably just rather her friends -- from Betty White to Mo'Nique -- just please let it die already.
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Ever since Conan O'Brien reopened negotiations with Fox (which briefly led to a planned appearance at Idol Gives Back), rumors have flown fast and furious that the network is set to announce a deal with the funnyman on May 17. How much of that is fact and how much of it is simply conjecture? Here's what we know and what we don't:
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Dry your eyes, anti-Izzy nation. Katherine Heigl, the Emmy-winning actress on Grey's Anatomy who tormented creator Shonda Rhimes, writers and cast members with her diva-like behavior, filming schedules and late night attacks, has left Seattle Grace. The rumor started two weeks ago when industry insiders reported that Rhimes had chucked Heigl from her contract, and this morning, Heigl herself confirms the news via an Entertainment Weekly cover, where the hell-raising actress is posed as a cable-knit wearing angel.
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We return now to the Geffen Playhouse in L.A., where showbiz luminiaries were on hand to honor Warner head Barry Meyer and everyone's favorite heifer-lunged show-pixie, Kristin Chenoweth, at the theater's annual fundraiser. Carly Steel, the eyes, ears, and glistening legs of Movieline was there to score some scoops -- and score she did. Yesterday, we got confirmation from Clint Eastwood himself that his next project is the rumored J. Edgar Hoover biopic project. Now, Simpsons voice genius Hank Azaria reveals details about the direction he's taking with his fearsome smurf-terminator Gargamel in the hotly anticipated The Smurfs movie. Read on for the video, and remember: You heard it here smurf.
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Ugh. Good try, season nine, but last night's performances of Billboard's No. 1 hits felt more like a sad carnival concert of dated ballads, stale beer and overplayed Best of the '70s jams that belong nowhere near the charts in 2010. Even with the guidance of ageless warlord Miley Cyrus, the contestants seemed lost and a little lonely during their performances, with stupid falsettos and nervous sweats once again threatening our good time. Still, we've got your Idol performances ranked worst-to-first after the jump.
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Hot on the heels of Diablo Cody calling the first season of her own show, The United States of Tara, something she wouldn't have watched, we've got Chloë Sevigny ripping into Big Love (which just won her a Golden Globe). "It was awful this season, as far as I'm concerned," she told the AV Club. "I'm not allowed to say that! It was very telenovela. I feel like it kind of got away from itself. The whole political campaign seemed to me very farfetched...I hope the fans will stick with us and tune in next year. There's a lot of people who really love this season, surprisingly. God, I'm going to get in so much trouble." [AV Club]
As any other episode worthy of The Twilight Zone would begin: Imagine, if you will, an upstanding lawyer. A man who, after two years working in Los Angeles, returned to his home state of South Carolina, where he eventually became the first independent elected to the state's House since Reconstruction. A man who emerged eight years later to his long-held dream of filmmaking, and who realized this dream with a 2007 mockumentary and his 2008 pièce de résistance -- the "hysterical Appalachian comedy" The Hills Have Thighs. A man known among friends and associates -- and now the world -- as Bubba. A man who never knew about his doppelgänger, or what it would cost him. A man who now knows the treachery, shock and numbness that follows that most incredulous cultural cry of "Say whaaaa?"
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Who cares about watching an unrecognizable chef toss up some scallops on a late-night show, even if Tom Cruise is there to laugh maniacally in the background? No one, which is why most Late Show viewers probably checked out before David Letterman joined Jamie Oliver for one of the most unfortunate cooking demos in recent memory last night. That segment, as well as the other highlights you missed last night while canceling your Discovery Communication channels, after the jump.
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Alas, not Bryce Dallas or the others you'd hoped. Baumbach is reportedly attached to direct The Emperor's Children, previously assigned to Howard as early as 2007. Baumbach had adapted the screenplay from Claire Messud's novel about a trio of 20-somethings battling post-college doldrums in the months approaching and following 9/11. Keira Knightley, Eric Bana and Richard Gere are also new additions to the project, which has a summer shooting date in mind. Listen hard and you'll hear the knife-sharpening in Armond White's study already. [The Wrap]
The King of the World took on Fox News's sniveling Boy Prince yesterday during a press junket promoting the enviro-conscious DVD/Blu-ray release of Avatar. "Glenn Beck is a f*cking a**hole," James Cameron cheerily told gathered journalists. "I've met him. He called me the anti-Christ and not about Avatar. He hadn't even seen Avatar yet. I don't know if he has seen it." Jim, Jim, Jim -- don't ever change. The filmmaker wasn't done there, either.
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