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Caption This Photo of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone Just Chillin' at the Hospital

Caption This Photo of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone Just Chillin' at the Hospital

Ha! It's a trick! There are no words.
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Behold, The Shirtless Evolution of Sylvester Stallone

Sylvester Stallone shirtless through the years

Matthew McConaughey may be Hollywood's reigning shirtless superstar, but long before he first bared his abs onscreen, Sylvester Stallone had mastered the art of gratuitous torso in each Rocky installment, Rambo film and a number of other action titles. Thirty-five years after his bare-chested breakout role as the Italian Stallion, Stallone returns to the screen this April for a feature called Bullet to the Head, which, again -- amazingly -- features the action icon topless as evidenced by a brand new still. (Don't bother questioning how a shirtless 65-year-old man fits into the narrative -- it just does, guys.)  In honor of the actor's impressive history of appearing semi-nude onscreen -- even decades after audiences started shielding their eyes from his grisly old-man muscles -- Movieline salutes Sylvester Stallone's shirtless valor in the photo essay below.

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Help Movieline Caption The First Photo of Sylvester Stallone in Bullet to the Head

Sylvester Stallone may be the busiest aging action icon today (sorry Chuck Norris). In between adapting Rocky into German musical format and posing for photos on the set of Expendables 2, Sylvester Stallone just finished filming Bullet to the Head. The New Orleans-set action movie stars Sly as a musclebound hitman who teams up with a young NYPD detective (Sung Kang) to investigate a pair of murders and naturally, exact revenge on anyone who stands in their way. Fortunately for us, the first caption-worthy photo from Bullet to the Head has arrived.

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Caption This Photo of Jean-Claude Van Damme Playing With His Gun On the Expendables 2 Set

How does the machismo-filled cast of Expendables 2 entertain themselves in between takes on the Simon West-directed blockbuster sequel? Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis pose for photos in abandoned airplane hangars. Chuck Norris updates his Facebook account with shoddy tourist pics in Bulgaria and Jean-Claude Van Damme, it seems, plays with toy guns.

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Help Movieline Caption This Expendables 2 Photo of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone and Bruce Willis

Help Movieline Caption This Expendables 2 Photo of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone and Bruce Willis

The Expendables 2 is shaping up to be the biggest, baddest ensemble action film ever with a cast that includes proven superstars Sylvester Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mickey Rourke, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and Chuck Norris. Today, we've received proof that this sprawling adrenaline-fueled blockbuster is indeed in production via a photo of the three bulky leads mugging in Bulgaria. This calls for a round of Caption This!

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The Latest Addition to The Expendables 2 is... Liam Hemsworth?

Variety's Showblitz reports that youngster Liam Hemsworth, who gets his biggest break since dating Miley Cyrus in next year's The Hunger Games, has been cast in the sprawling ensemble of The Expendables 2. Wait, you say -- isn't he, like, four or five decades too young for this film? At 21, Hemsworth is quite a bit less wrinkly than his co-stars. Let's start guessing now who he'll play: Sly's son? A flashback version of Jean-Claude Van Damme? Mickey Rourke's bicep? [Variety]

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Which Action Stars Aren't Yet Attached/In Talks/Rumored for Expendables 2?

Which Action Stars Aren't Yet Attached/In Talks/Rumored for Expendables 2?

Earlier today came word that Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme might be joining Sly Stallone & Co. for The Expendables 2 (although the reported cast listing at Millenium Films now reads "TBA"). Now it seems Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis are onboard to reprise their cameos from the first film, with bigger parts this time around. (Expanded Expendables!) So let's just take a minute and regroup: Who isn't onboard or under consideration to join the beefy action sequel?

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Which Movie Stars Can We 'Blame' For the Tumbling Stock Market?

Why do celebrities ring the New York Stock Exchange bell? Is it because they have a project to promote, a longtime fascination with the stock market, a complex fetish for percussion instruments and stressed-out traders in suits? Who knows! But a lot of celebrities have gotten to ring the opening bell the past few years, and thanks to a new article in The Atlantic, we now know which movie stars are responsible for kicking off the biggest drops in recent memory. Be forewarned: Captain America may be able to protect the country against Nazis but his mighty shield cannot protect the NYSE.

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From Goonies to Newsies, Know Your Upcoming Broadway Musical Adaptations

As the makers of multiple Tony winners like Spamalot, Billy Elliott, and Hairspray (among many, many others) know, adapting hit Broadway musicals from movies can be quite rewarding -- commercially and creatively. But since these days it seems like Broadway folk are dipping into the Hollywood playbook for just about any kind of material -- nun-themed disco comedies, '80s-set Adam Sandler pics, even the Patrick Swayze-Demi Moore romance Ghost, complete with potter's wheel cheesiness -- Movieline's got your guide to the five most promising future movie-to-Broadway adaptations to watch for.

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Sylvester Stallone Definitely Not Directing Expendables 2, Guys

Sylvester Stallone Definitely Not Directing Expendables 2, Guys

Last month it was revealed that Sylvester Stallone was looking for a new director to helm the follow up to his $274 million worldwide-grossing action pic, The Expendables -- and Deadline reports that is still the case. Will Sly take Movieline's humble suggestion of five potential replacement directors who'd be well-suited to helm Expendables 2? And which veteran action stars (Seagal! Van Damme! Snipes?) will join the cast this time around? [Deadline]

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SLIDESHOW: What Exactly Will Sylvester Stallone's Movie-Inspired Fashion Line Look Like?

Move over, Olsen twins: Sylvester Stallone is stepping into the fashion ring with his own celebrity clothing line. And according to a recent article in Women's Wear Daily, the first wave of his lifestyle brand for men will take inspiration from Stallone's iconic Rocky and Rambo films, because of course. So what exactly can we expect from the design house of Sly?

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