At one point, Kate Beckinsale remembers, director Len Wiseman thought of tapping her for a cameo as a three-breasted hooker in his Total Recall remake. Luckily for the actress, Wiseman (who directed the British beauty in Underworld and Underworld: Evolution — and happens to be her husband in real life) instead cast Beckinsale in the much juicier role of Lori, the adoring wife of factory worker Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell) whom Quaid discovers is actually an undercover agent hellbent on killing him. Consider that a divorce, indeed.
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Again with this "teaser for a trailer" business. If you cannot wait until Sunday to get a glimpse of the actual trailer for Len Wiseman's Total Recall remake, here are thirty seconds of Colin Farrell driving flying cars and jumping off of balconies and Kate Beckinsale looking hot. I'm still holding out for evidence that Wiseman kept the three-boobed lady in his version, which will determine if this rehash of the 1990 sci-fi gem gets my ticket dollars or not.
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Late night host Jimmy Kimmel's tradition of filming a post-Oscar movie-related spoof continued Sunday night with a "trailer" for Movie: The Movie, the ultimate star-studded epic to end all epics. In addition to featuring a host of stars, from Taylor Lautner to Helen Mirren to Tyler Perry (er, "Daniel Day-Lewis as Tyler Perry as George Washington"), the Kimmel-produced gag covered just about every genre and trope known to the movies. I give it a few years before some suit turns this into a reality.
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It can be difficult to remember who we're meant to be rooting for in the Underworld universe, with its unending werewolf/vampire feud, betrayals, hybrids, bloodlines, forbidden romances and immortal daddy issues. But that's OK: Underworld: Awakening sloughs off much of the convoluted gothic backstory of the first three films in the series in favor of skipping forward a dozen years and landing vinyl-clad bloodsucking heroine Selene (Kate Beckinsale) in a near future in which the world has gone into martial law lockdown after the discovery of non-humans in their midst.
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You might have heard there was a big awards show last night? And as usual, the 69th Golden Globes delivered their standard array of highlights, lowlights and headscratching curios over three hours at the Beverly Hilton. Let's revisit the ups and downs in words and pictures, shall we?
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Savvier and less cartoonish than those posters of Mark Wahlberg with stacks of cash taped to his famous torso might have you believe, Contraband is a remake of the 2008 Icelandic smuggling thriller Reykjavík-Rotterdam, directed by the original's star, Baltasar Kormákur. The action's been transported to New Orleans-Panama City, the goods upgraded from bootlegged liquor to counterfeit cash, and the whole enterprise daubed with some Hollywood gloss, but it's still an obligingly tense, scruffy addition to the one-last-crime genre.
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Remember Oscar season 2010-11? Remember we had to keep caring about The Fighter? I can't believe how long we had to care about The Fighter. For me it was the Cold Mountain of 2011. The louder you squawked, the better your Oscar chances. Did you wave your hands frantically a lot of the time? Did you steal your accent from an SNL table read? See you at the dais. Anyway, I'm still sore with Mark Wahlberg, and I'm approaching the international trailer for his new movie Contraband with that rancor. It comes out in January, so it has to be laughable. Let's laugh.
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Did you guys realize that Mark Wahlberg and Kate Beckinsale were starring in a little heist movie called Contraband? Me neither, but that's probably because Universal has quietly scheduled the film, from Icelandic director Baltasar Kormákur, for a quiet box office death release next January. But we're going to need something to watch during that winter wasteland month so let's take a look and see if super-angry Mark Wahlberg, his abs, and and Kate Beckinsale undressing for the camera can't motivate us to buy tickets.
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