On last week's episode of Mike & Molly, peripheral characters compared the two leads to a UPS truck, Shrek, an elephant and Kathy Bates in Misery. Fortunately, for you, CBS primetime viewers, there were plenty more size jokes in the latest installment, "First Kiss." To see whether Chuck Lorre & Co. actually compared one of their stars to Shamu, proceed to the Fat Joke Tracker.
Last week, The Event held strong in its campaign to make Mondays a whole lot more disorienting. And last night's Protect Them from the Truth at least met muster. Maybe it's a Monday-night thing and I'm just too busy wiping the sleep out of my eyes to notice people palming keys to Laura Innes and Jason Ritter hacking his way into FBI facial recognition databases. Or maybe it's just really, dangerously convoluted. Click through for the threat-level analysis!
Welcome back to the dark side, Chuck and Blair. After spending two seasons flirting and meeting-cute, the pair regained their maliciousness during the latest episode of Gossip Girl, and it was all because of each other. Well, and also because Chuck's lady love was actually a lady of the evening. (As Blair said to an unwilling-to-take-action Chuck: "You just rewarded her for her tricks. Pun intended.") Meanwhile, in less scandalized news, Dan realized that clandestine outings with Serena weren't as fun as good scoldings from Vanessa, Rufus wore plaid, Nate tussled his hair and Gossip Girl got some competition.
When Jon Stewart returned to The Daily Show last night, the first thing he did was address Rick Sanchez, the former CNN pundit who was fired last week for calling Stewart a bigot and suggesting that the media industry was run by Jews. And believe it or not, Stewart actually had semi-kind words for Sanchez and one legitimate job lead. Elsewhere, Bruce Willis channeled his inner Lady Gaga on The Late Show, Will Arnett issued an Arrested Development update and Craig Ferguson talked dirty to Lauren Graham.
The theme for tonight's Dancing with the Stars is pretty awesome and should also fill you with terror. How much schmaltz can one Movieline reader put up with? Hopefully it's a lot, because tonight's episode will reach record levels. Bring a Geiger counter.
Ever since Kenny Powers called his sister-in-law -- who was housing him after his major league baseball career dried up and his money ran out -- a "church b*tch with dead eyes" completely unprovoked, it was clear that the moral compass of Eastbound & Down's main character was broken. Now, that the series is in its second season, Movieline feels that it is its duty to recap each episode by recounting each horrific Kenny Powers offense and seeing which way the HBO misanthrope's busted compass was pointing at the time: Either laterally (eastbound) or morally south (down).
If Logo's RuPaul's Drag Race is the pinnacle of reality competition series (which it is), then that network's The A-List: New York seems poised to achieve the opposite: the nadir of regular old reality TV. It's a Real Housewives riff featuring six gay men who call themselves "A-list" without a hint of either self-consciousness or validity, and it should be pretty great. Look! This guy's spray-tanning because it's the only thing that's important to him. Guffaw. Time to watch the preview of tonight's debut episode and pick out the uproarious parts.
Chuck Lorre has had quite a run during the last 17 years: Grace Under Fire, Cybill, Dharma & Greg, Two and a Half Men and The Big Bang Theory. With Mike & Molly, the over-sized new Monday night sitcom starring Billy Gardell and Melissa McCarthy, the prolific writer/producer can add another hit to his list, but is the new series his favorite?
Don't get me wrong: We had a pretty good idea that Brook was crazy on last week's Amazing Race when she witnessed a watermelon trying to decapitate her partner Claire and replied, "That's why they call it The Amazing Race." But this week, the ferocious blonde stepped up her insanity -- and she let us all watch it emerge! Aw, thanks.
I don't know if it was the rat-a-tat-tat in the air or just the ticking clock of a season nearing its end, but Mad Men jammed through its 11th episode with unusual abandon on Sunday night. And by "unusual," I generally mean "forgettable" -- indeed an uncommon trait for any given airing of the series, and about as intriguing (for about as long) as the guy spinning plates at the circus.
In last night's installment of Bored to Death, Jonathan Ames, your hipster P.I. hero, agreed to a three-way only after being convinced that Charles Bukowski and Henry Miller would do the same. Meanwhile, one character read the New Yorker while getting a prostate exam and the real Jonathan Ames enjoyed an ironic bare-ass cameo so gratuitous that viewers probably began to wonder if HBO was legally required to fill an Ames posterior-shot quota. (Just me?) To see how those components (and more!) affected this week's Bored to Death Hipster Quotient, proceed ahead and remember that this week's units of measure are corn cob pipes.
Admittedly, last week's Saturday Night Live Relevancy Poll was heavily influenced by last season. Of course the new featured players would start near the bottom and perennial recurring sketch kings like Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader would start near the top. Now, two episodes in to the 36th season, living on past success is over as far as the poll is concerned. As Kenan Thompson can tell you, considering his blink-and-you'd-miss-him performance in week one, you'd better come out firing if you want air time -- no matter how many seasons you have under your belt.
During the pilot of Boardwalk Empire, Nucky Thompson (Steve Buscemi) looked at premature baby in an incubator with a longing reserved for the childless. The takeaway of the scene was to wordlessly show that Atlantic City's most corrupt treasurer has a baby-sized hole in his heart that needs filling. That hole helps explain Nucky's relationships with his surrogate children, Jimmy and Margaret, and how they could wind up being the downfall of both his professional and personal life. Of course, the incubator scene also has another reading: Boardwalk Empire arrived with premature hype, and so far that early birth has permanently stunted its growth.
Youth was in session on the second episode of Saturday Night Live's 36th season, with mixed results. Vanessa Bayer, Paul Brittain and Nasim Pedrad all received some serious screen time; Taran Killam was used slightly more, while Jay Pharoah was all but missing in action. And while we all know Bryan Cranston is a funny guy (he's Dr. Tim Whatley, ferchrissake), his first SNL hosting gig was surprisingly underwhelming, comprising a lot of straight-man roles that were overshadowed by the likes of guests Morgan Freeman and Ernest Borgnine. Even Kanye West avoided controversy. What gives? Let's check out the scorecard...
The Good Guys is a funny show, Colin Hanks gives a hell of an interview, and tonight's episode of the departing Fox series deals with a suspicious character who works with our lead protagonists. Elsewhere on the tube, Medium gets mysterious and Outlaw gets kind of heart-breaking.
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