Believe it or not, there was one artist on Wednesday night's American Idol who was more disappointed with her performance than Little Aaron Kelly. Lady Gaga was dissatisfied to realize that her six-and-a-half minute mash-up of "Alejandro" and "Bad Romance" had been butchered and she took to Twitter to air her grievances: "FOX POORLY + AMATEURLY edited+cut my performance/musical arrangement on idol." The full version can be viewed here. [@ladygaga]
· I know what you're thinking: "But what about Shakes the Clown?" Point taken, but holy crap do I wanna see what Kristen Wiig has planned for Clown Girl, the 2007 novel that Wiig optioned with her own money and will adapt for the screen. Theoretically she would play Nita a/k/a Sniffles the Clown -- trapped doing shows in Baloneytown, distressed over "a dream man who used her to finance his attendance at clown college," and contemplating "the potentially lucrative prostitution trade involving clown fetishists." I mean, please. Line starts behind me. [Deadline]
Jason Statham may get arty, Dwayne Johnson may get Furious, and more Hollywood Ink after the jump.
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Welcome back to Movieline Attractions, your regular guide to everything new, noteworthy and record-threatening at the movies. This week, a much-anticipated band of charismatic heroes arrives in theaters, while elsewhere, Iron Man 2 will attempt to eclipse The Dark Knight as the opening-weekend box-office king. And yes, there is refuge at the art house. We have a lot to get to; let's get started!
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· In the series finale to Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!, Paul Rudd showed us exactly what goes on inside his schmancy home computer lab -- dancing (of course) and naked dancing (naturally). This aired days ago, but I think you'll find it's a viral treat for the ages. [Jezebel]
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It's not necessarily the publicity you want the day before you open your international baby movie opposite Iron Man 2. But really, I respect the director of Babies all that much more for raising a midde finger to the established order of California child-labor law and making a movie with a newborn infant despite everything. He's in good company today, too, fighting against The Man with a documentarian peer who may wind up at the U.S. Supreme Court before his case is resolved.
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Celebrity trainer Tracy Anderson is my constant, in that whenever she is in the news, it is for humiliating one of her clients under the guise of self-improvement. Anderson is already well-known for turning Madonna into a befuddled, sinewy scarecrow, and for giving Gwyneth Paltrow a body-dysmorphic diet-and-exercise obsession that clearly necessitates an intervention. Still, what she's done to Jennifer Aniston may be her worst crime yet.
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The CW is doubling down on vampires this summer by investing in a complementary series for the network's hit program Vampire Diaries. The new acquisition is Moonlight, which aired on (and was canceled by) CBS two years ago. Repeats of the series will debut on June 3 and air on Thursdays this summer. No word yet on whether the original cast will return -- Moonlight star Alex O'Loughlin is currently attached to the Hawaii Five-O remake on CBS. [Deadline]
You think you know someone when you spend every night during Mad Men season with them. And then she publishes an essay about her adventurous freshman year of art school, when she experimented with girl-on-girl sex, intercourse with afros and whips, drugged up boot-knocking and that one time she took her homosexual friend's virginity inside of a dark closet while listening to Madonna's 'Erotica.' The culprit here is Alison Brie, Mad Men actress, Community star, and self-confessed former slut.
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By this time tomorrow the multiplexes of the United States will be sinking into their foundations, overstuffed with millions of swooning viewers soaking up Iron Man 2. Professional prognosticators and casual box-office observers alike take this as their cue to size up the opening weekend -- particularly the film's chance to topple The Dark Knight's record $158.4 million three-day from 2008. We're no different at Movieline, where I've rounded up my seasoned colleagues Kyle Buchanan, Mark Lisanti and Christopher Rosen for a brief bit of shot-calling.
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Like a pregnancy test or gas station sushi, Mother's Day can go one of two ways: pleasantly surprising or life-changingly traumatic. With that holiday quickly approaching, Movieline has compiled five matriarchs on television today that will make your mother's judgmental sniping almost palpable. So order an edible arrangement for the woman who birthed you and thank JC you didn't have to grow up with one of these ladies.
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Football great and seventh-place Dancing with the Stars finisher Lawrence Taylor was arrested for allegedly raping a 15-year-old girl. He has officially pleaded "Not guilty." His history of hard drugs and paying prostitutes to "wear out" competing NFL teams already made his DWTS tenure cringe-worthy enough. What more is there to say? Despicable. Perhaps DWTS's other season-eight contestants can commiserate with the surviving judges at America's Best Dance Crew. [E!]
Roger Ebert's gotten a load of the 'pede, and he doesn't know what to think about it. "I am required to award stars to movies I review," he says in his new write-up of The Human Centipede. "This time, I refuse to do it. The star rating system is unsuited to this film. Is the movie good? Is it bad? Does it matter? It is what it is and occupies a world where the stars don't shine." [Roger Ebert via WoW Report]
Yeah, this sounds about right: Adult film star (and Steven Soderbergh muse) Sasha Grey will appear on the upcoming seventh season of Entourage as Vince's girlfriend in an extended arc that's partially based on the relationship Charlie Sheen had with porn star Ginger Lynn in the '90s. Grey might even stick around for the eighth and final season. Says creator Doug Ellin: "I think they're going to have a very interesting relationship." Turtle wasn't available for comment, presumably because he was masturbating already. [TV Guide]
Imagine you are a cable network. You received a death threat in response to an unflattering depiction of the Muslim prophet Muhammad made on one of your network's programs. Two weeks later, a car bomb was planted in front of your parent company's headquarters. What do you do next? If you are Comedy Central, you develop a cartoon lampooning Jesus Christ.
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I told you Greta Gerwig was going places, and like, whoa: The 25-year-old pride of Sacramento is reportedly in talks to star opposite Russell Brand and Helen Mirren in Warner Bros.' remake of Arthur. Gerwig would inherit Liza Minnelli's role as the shoplifting waitress who wins the titular playboy's wealthy, drunken heart; it would be Gerwig's second big get since Greenberg (after... I can't even bear to mention it), and her first leading-lady role for an honest-to-God studio. With the minor qualification that nobody should be remaking Arthur in the first place, this is fantastic! [Deadline]
